Driving Irresponsibly Friday Giftures

There was an accident yesterday on the freeway, which caused all kinds of backups. Unfortunately, I went a little too early, so I missed all the chaos and arrived on time. Why do these things always happen to me? Why can’t I figure out just the wrong time to come, so I have an excuse to be late? It is always so frustrating that. Having the worst timing is the bitterest. As hard as I try, the fates always stand in my way, especially when I want to be in the way. Well, at least I made you read words and stood in the way of you getting to the giftures that you are really here for. So, here you go…

If you need an excuse for being late to work…

…get your commute on film. 

Just make sure you don’t…

…take the escalator. 

This is definitely not…

…the fastest way to get to work. 

This one is probably worth…

…a medical day or two. 

This is not the kind of drive…

…that will get you out of things. 

Crashing at home is one thing…

…crashing while going to work, not such a good thing. 

When rolling to the weight room…

…make sure you aren’t rolling other people. 

Have an embarrassing set of chairs you are trying to get rid of?…

…play grams in ping pong. 

Need to wake someone up?…

…pretend fire drill. 

Blades of Glory…

…not happening without your hockey stick. 

Think about this clearly…

…think with your head. 

And don’t ever forget….

…what comes around, goes around. 

Well, I hope the timing for you all this weekend is bad. Like the traffic all comes around like it the Truman Show when he tries to escape the island. May your weekend be full of frustrations and bitterness.

ARRRRGGHHHHHH

Bitter Irresponsible Friday Ben

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26 thoughts on “Driving Irresponsibly Friday Giftures

  1. I don’t understand what that stupid kid was trying to do with the dirt mound. The genius with the coat hanger for the zipline. Yep, that was really going to work. I loved the fire drill.

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  2. Whoever kicks a cat should definitely be hit on the head by any type of potted plant.

    Also, WHO puts plants there and then puts a chair underneath? If not for the cat situation, that was just an accident begging to happen.

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    • I just get the feeling that his wife was always filming because she knew something like that would happen. Which makes me think I should alway be filming to catch all the embarrassing things that are happening to other people.

      Like

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