Roller Skater Hater Friday Giftures


Yesterday I learned that roller skating still exists. I thought it was just a bitter part of my youth. When I was the biggest dork in class (only that last 44 years or so) roller skating was the thing to do for school parties. When I first started skating I was pretty good at nasty falls, landing on my rumpus, and embarrassing myself in front on the girl I had a crush on at the moment. Then I got better and skating disappeared. And when it disappeared, I thought it was gone forever. It did for a while, but then the roller blade thing came back, and then I thought they disappeared again. Now they let all the things on the rink, including scooters. I was kind of glad it came back though, because I was hoping I would capture some nasty falls on camera for my gifture film company, but there were very few falls, and when there were, of course I was not filming. Arrrghhh, I guess these giftures will just have to do.

This is one time…

…you don’t mess with the refs.

And this not how you fight…

…no giggling involved with fighting.

And good thing we didn’t put these geniuses…

…in charge of photography.

It wasn’t ice skating…

…but it would have been great to capture more falls like this last night.

Have you ever seen the game Lemmings…

…yeah, neither have I.

Now that is how you quarterback…

…especially in the fall.

If you’re going to bring down the stage…

…this is how you do it.

At a teen dance…

…when one of the boys finally gets brave enough to ask one of the girls to dance.

Why couldn’t I capture…

…such beautiful falls at the skating rink last night?

Hey guys…

…can I at least get a high five?

Why do you think…


…they call it an alley oop?

Cool trick bro…

…I love how you ran into the pole so well.

Until next time…may your skates tangle you up for a great fall, may your alley only oop, may your fall not only happen in the autumn but all year long.


Bitter Skater Hater Ben

48 thoughts on “Roller Skater Hater Friday Giftures

  1. Haha, those dancing people :’) I always love your gifs. Somehow seeing bitter things happen to other people makes my day a bit brighter.

    I am such a sadist.


  2. Off to a great start Ben! BTW if I forgot to wish you a happy birthday…Happy belated birthday! I have nominated you for The Best in the Funniest Blog category at the bloggers bash. If you are interested at all (and able to get past the bitterness) I will need your email address. No, this this not just a ruse to get your email address!! If you are not interested I won’t need your email address. Have a wonderful Monday.


  3. My husband still likes to roller skate. I walk, because I’m quick, and he roller skates next to me. He’s 6’2″ without the skates, and I’m 5’1″, so we look totally ridiculous next to each other even when he doesn’t add the extra 6″ of the skates. I can only imagine what people think when they pass us.


  4. The truck that nailed those two guys was hysterical. All I could think of was the 40 year old Virgin where Steve Carell is stuck in the car with Leslie Mann and they get T-boned. She says, “That guy came out of nowhere!” Exactly. The element of surprise.
    The other gif I truly enjoyed was the stage collapsing. Why couldn’t that happen to Justin Bieber? Are we not that lucky?
    I love skating. Now let’s bring back the limbo.


  5. You hate skating!? :O But…but…what about skate limbo? And Shoot-the-Duck? And ChaCha Slide on roller skates? And how could you not love the glorious 70s/80s decor and disco lights, and dodging little kids while whizzing around the rink at 30mph? So disappointing. Perhaps your roller rink slushees were a little too bitter. 😦


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