As you know (just kidding, you have no idea) I just hit 700 posts of pure bitterness. I haven't checked with the Guinness Book of World Records (or is it a Guinness E-Book of World Records only available on Amazon Kindle. I don't know), but I'm pretty sure it is the record of something. … Continue reading The Bitter 700 Club and Friday Giftures
Bitter Friday Giftures
Chip on Your Shoulder Bitter Giftures
I was born with a overgrown chip on my shoulder which contributed to my acute bittertosis. This chip contributed to my lifelong bitter rivalry with Scouts. Last night as we went to the concert(don't get all excited, it was my son's 2nd grade space concert), which caused us to show up late for his scout … Continue reading Chip on Your Shoulder Bitter Giftures
The Jerk Store called and said they ran out of Bitter Giftures
Who is ready for this week to end? Who has had just about enough of this crap? Whose eyeballs just can't take it anymore? Yeah, me either. If you think you are sick of reading this blog for a fourth day in a row, how do you think I feel having write it for a … Continue reading The Jerk Store called and said they ran out of Bitter Giftures
Candy Crushing Friday Giftures
I'm not sure why Candy Crush is so popular, because why would you ever want to crush candy? There are a lot of things in this world that are worthy of being broken and I think while candy isn't the last on the list, it is pretty close to being the last thing I … Continue reading Candy Crushing Friday Giftures
Clean up in Aisle Friday Bitter Giftures…
For a guy that is a big slob that makes messes both literal and figurative, it is kind of ironic that I am in charge of cleaning up after people all the time. Obviously I don't mean clean up in a literal sense, because that would require me taking steps off my couch or … Continue reading Clean up in Aisle Friday Bitter Giftures…
Up Bitter Creek Friday Giftures
I just heard that it reached 90 degrees in Arizona, which I'm told is the record for earliest 90 degree day there ever. This happened as the rain continues to drizzle in the plizzle where I livel fo shizzle. Did you just see how my language devolved into 1990's Snoop Dog? How uncool was that? … Continue reading Up Bitter Creek Friday Giftures
Going down in flames Friday Giftures
Yesterday I was reading about a so-called author named E.L. Stein or James or something that wrote a coloring book about different shades of gray? Talk about a boring book. Is there any color more boring than gray? I live in Seattle, where there are actually that many colors of grey almost every day … Continue reading Going down in flames Friday Giftures
It’s all Downhill from here Friday Giftures
Everyone goes through peaks and valleys or as I like to call them The Middle of the Sun during Summer and Middle of the Antarctic in the winter. Â You might reach your peak efficiency of the work week on Wednesday at 10 am, or you might reach you absolute low at 3 pm on Tuesday. … Continue reading It’s all Downhill from here Friday Giftures
Taking a Ride on the Bitter Gifture Express
It's freaking Friday and that means the Bitter Express is getting ready to leave the station. The Bitter Express is a different roller coaster ride than you are used to. Most roller coaster rides are full of excitement, screaming, thrilling drops and crazy loop de loops and then, they eventually end. The Bitter Express … Continue reading Taking a Ride on the Bitter Gifture Express
National Hug Day Bitter Giftures
I found out that yesterday was yet another holiday that I didn't get off work for. National Hugger's Day they call it. Â Of course, I don't believe in hugging unless it is a passive aggressive way for me to crack someone's ribs that I'm not real fond of. Â This is not to say that I … Continue reading National Hug Day Bitter Giftures
Bitterly Depressing Friday Giftures
Yesterday was so depressing. Some weirdos in Florida and California took my winning lottery tickets from me, my idol and hero who played all the best villains, Alan Rickman died(Hans Gruber AND Snape. Two of the most bitter guys in cinema.) and once again my book didn't get published. Â Some say you should actually … Continue reading Bitterly Depressing Friday Giftures
It’s Time to Bail Gifture Friday
In case you didn't know it, I am here to remind you that today is Friday. Â That means it is time to bail. Time to throw aside your work clothes and put on "Casual Friday" clothes. Â Time to bail on your diet that you committed to on Jan. 1 and get some pizza instead … Continue reading It’s Time to Bail Gifture Friday
Getting your Priorities Straight Friday Giftures
I feel like we are all a little out of whack here. Â And by that I mean all of YOU are out of whack. Â I've noticed that you bums are all busy doing nice things for others, attending parties that you are actually having fun at, and enjoying food other than pizza. Â And to … Continue reading Getting your Priorities Straight Friday Giftures
Getting it Wrong Bitter Friday Giftures
I was a walking disaster yesterday. All my hair fell out (I got a hair cut), I got stuck to the couch (gravity can be such a bother sometimes) and I cut my thumb while losing a fight to my eight year old. Some days are just more bitter than others. If my life … Continue reading Getting it Wrong Bitter Friday Giftures
Bitter Pushover Black Friday Giftures
You realize that Black Friday is a crazy day filled with lunatics pushing each other out of the way for products that they are using to push their old stuff out of the way right? You know what else Black Friday is? It is the December holidays pushing Thanksgiving out of the way. As … Continue reading Bitter Pushover Black Friday Giftures
The Bitter Library of Giftures
This is no ordinary library, where I'm sitting at the help desk quietly ignoring your requests for help. This isn't a place where you whisper in your screaming voice to all your neighbors about what you are reading. Â This is the Bitter Library of Giftures. We are similar to other libraries in that we … Continue reading The Bitter Library of Giftures
Taking you all to School Friday Giftures
This is the kind of week I dream about. I was off this whole week so I could watch the kids, so my wife could go on a trip. This was my chance to be lazy. The chance for me to lay on the couch, watch TV and do not much. Well, that's all it … Continue reading Taking you all to School Friday Giftures
Scaredy Cat Bitter Friday Giftures
For some reason, around this time of year, fears seem to pop up as an issue. Â People seems to want to talk about their fear of spiders or ghosts or the dark or cholesterol or the way too upbeatness of SpongeBob. Â Maybe it's because Halloween brings the spookiness out of people, or this time … Continue reading Scaredy Cat Bitter Friday Giftures
Gears of Bitterness
One of my favorite video games of all time is Gears of War 3. It's a manly tale of bros just hanging out, watching TV, eating pizza, playing video games, saving each others places in line. They also like to go shoot a few rounds at the range and hang out at each others houses. … Continue reading Gears of Bitterness
Bitter Introductions to Friday Giftures
This week we had some sales reps for our company in town, some of whom we have never met, so lunches were arranged between different departments so we could meet each other. Â Meeting new people is the worst. Â Pretending to care about what someone says, doing the dreadful small talk that all introverts hate … Continue reading Bitter Introductions to Friday Giftures
Ben's Bitter Blog 