Before I know much about what empath’s were, I thought they were just people that read tarot cards and told you what your pet was saying. The more I see about them though, the more I think I’m one of them.

I don’t know if I meet every single one of the 15 requirements that websites tell me about them, but I meet most of them. And before you go accusing me of being empathetic, stop right there. I don’t care about you, your kids, your pets, or your problems. I feel them. And I don’t like it one bit. Stop feeling things please, because when you do, I do. Why do you think I’m so bitter? Besides the fact that I was born bitter?

It’s because when you are bitter, I am. When you are anxious for a speech, or for a job interview, or to get on a plane, I feel it too. It’s super annoying. It kind of reminds me of Bruce Willis in Unbreakable. Every time he bumps into someone, he knows how good or evil they are, and he has to have the memory of them. Me, well, I feel people’s bitterness from long distance. Why do you think I’m not a hugger? Because I’m already reviled by all your bitter from a distance. Getting close to people makes me even more nauseous.

So anyways, thanks a lot for all your feelings. If you could all just kind of feel numb for a bit, that would be great. Speaking of making yourselves numb, here are a few Bitter Friday Giftures for you.

Exactly Jim…

My son got some dental work this week…

Of course my daughter had to have prom this week…

And some kids last week were watching Trolls at my house…

I may not be empathetic…

Don’t worry…

Don’t worry…

Sometimes things get…

Now that I’ve got a trip to Disney coming up next week…

There’s no chance anything will go wrong…

Don’t worry…

Good thing I have my diary (called Ben’s Bitter Blog)…

Thank goodness, I have a date tonight with my video games. They don’t have feelings. They just have chainsaw guns and heavy armor to defend against feelings making it inside. I got this.

ARRRRGGGGHHHHHHHHH

Bitter Empath Patheticness Ben