Failing Vision Bitter Friday Giftures

I’m pretty bitter about my vision. You see, from about my sophomore year in high school until I was 33, I wore glasses. I tried contacts once, but I wasn’t a fan of sticking things in my eye and lost the desire for them really fast. Then, as a gift for me living and taking care of my mother-in-law for 10 years, she decided to pay for me to get Lasik. I was free from contacts and glasses and people were weirded out by my glasses being gone.

I was free for life from the bitteracities of glasses. Except….they warned me of this little caveat that I mostly ignored at the time, because yeah, I was free! They said there was this little thing called presbyopia. It occurs with EVERYONE starting at the age of 40. You start losing your close up vision IE reading stuff.

After fighting it for most of my 40’s I’m finally at a point where I have to have reading glasses and man am I bitter about it. Don’t worry though, because my looking vision isn’t the only vision I’ve lost. I’ve also lost my vision of the future. I used to be able to read people’s thoughts, but ever since I lost my vision, I’ve lost my vision.

I guess it is time to put me in a nursing home where I’m forced to play video games all day and have a nurse bring me food…please don’t do that to me…that would be awful…

Here are some Bitter Friday Giftures to explain what other ways I’m losing my vision…

Here is how I have to squint…

someone vision GIF
…whenever I’m doing the Bitter Friday Giftures.

Thankfully, I was able to create my own superhero…

Marvel Studios Reaction GIF by Disney+
…to help with my Vision.

Now that I’ve lost my vision…

rocket mortgage GIF by Rocket Mortgage by Quicken Loans
…I’m able to transition to my career as a referee.

Now I can start wearing…

ac slater glasses GIF
…the really popular frames.

And now I can finally start being like the cool kids…

snapchat spectacles GIF by Product Hunt
…and start Snapchat Spectacling.

Speaking of making a Spectacle…

making of whindersson GIF by Porta Dos Fundos
…I can start making one of myself.

Because when I can’t see anything…

happy dance GIF
…no one can see me right?

Just don’t expect me to be playing any…

peek a boo cats GIF
…peekaboo games with any pets…

And definitely not with…

happy south korea GIF by Earth Hour
…any kids.

My lack of vision…

Kid Fail GIF by MOODMAN
…will prevent me from seeing things like this.

And protecting me from the horrors…

Freezing 90 Day Fiance GIF by TLC Europe
…of things like this.

Someday they will put me out to pasture…

Looking In A Valley Of Violence GIF by FocusWorld
…where I will have to do this all the time.

The bad thing about horrible vision is that you can’t see things clearly anymore. The good thing about horrible vision is that you don’t have to see things anymore. Hey maybe it won’t be half bad.

ARRRRGGGHHHHHH

Bitter Lack of Vision Ben

8 thoughts on “Failing Vision Bitter Friday Giftures

  1. As someone who has worn glasses since the 2nd grade, is unable to wear contacts and can’t afford Lasik…welllll, I understand your bitterness, but can’t feel a ton of sympathy. I hope you understand. I have glasses and still squint at times, so there you go.

    Like

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