Yesterday, I had just arrived at my gym parking lot, when my wife called. So I had to do the most amount of multitasking I could possibly do, which was walking and talking on the phone at the same time. By the time I got to the treadmill we were still talking, so I had to do a third thing, which was operate a machine while talking on the phone.

I started the machine on a slow pace, so I could concentrate on what my wife was saying, but then had to put my stuff down. Well, considering that I was now at three things, you probably figured out what happened next. When I turned to get off, I slipped a little and almost dropped my phone, water, keys and wallet.

By the grace of the heavens, I didn’t fall, but I sure did my best to.

Treadmills might be the most dangerous thing this side of thunder (or is it lightning? I always get those mixed up).

Besides the fact that they are so dangerous, they are kiiind of inefficient. Have you ever gotten anywhere on those things?

You might be an optimistic person that thinks that life is a marathon and not a sprint, but you would be wrong. Life is a treadmill. I put a lot of effort into things, but only get incremental progress. My headphones get slippery, I sweat a lot, and might lose 400 calories in an hour. But I gain all the back as soon as I sit down on my couch and only move to the fridge for the rest of the night.

Same with my life. Big days are just disruptors unless you are Steve Jobs or Elon Musk. Yeah, I’ve had a few big days like graduating, moving to a new town, getting several new jobs getting a new house or apartment, but most days are just treadmill day. Running in place, making little progress.

I even do a blog post on the same day every week, and they get just slightly more bitter from week to week…Speaking of bitter, here are the giftures…

Most days are just the constant fight…

You run fast…

Run up a little wall…

Make some progress…

Of course, there is always the people…

Or people that just don’t want anything…

Some figured out how to use them…

Others..

A lot of people get…

While others…

Some accidentally…

While the rarest of the rare…

Do whatever you want, but my suggestion is to not be one of those weirdos that run marathons, or fast sprints that fade. Just be like me and be bitter about your slow, constant, steady decline towards old age.

ARRRRRGGGHHHHHHH

Bitter Tread Lightly Ben