I wouldn't say that I'm Harry Potter, but around this time of year, I definitely get hairy. It's not so much that I'm lazy(just kidding I am), it's just that I don't feel like shaving. For some reason my teeth get a little sharper too. Maybe it is all those sugar cookies, that my … Continue reading Howling at the Moon Bitter Friday Giftures
Dome for the holidays
Over the 5 years I've been doing this blog, I've learned nothing. Though, I think it is pretty safe to say that no matter what you say, someone will be offended by what you say. You talk about Father's Day, someone chews you up and spits you out. Talk bad about cats, someone tells you … Continue reading Dome for the holidays
1000 Posts Weak
I am really good at starting things. I wrote the first draft of a novel, still in the middle of 2-17 drafts that are required to get published. I started wrapping my wife's gift for Christmas..., oh crap she is here. Hold on a minute.... Okay, that was close. I hid it in the basement … Continue reading 1000 Posts Weak
Want a little action?
It is my goal to take over this world of kindness and make it a little more bitter everyday. It's not easy with all the happy, positive and upbeat people in this world. But it is a battle that I continue to fight, no matter how fruitless it gets. Thankfully, every once in a while, … Continue reading Want a little action?
Quick and Easy Meals for under $1000 Friday Giftures
I'm all about that simplicity. And that bass. I know when you are hungry and you just need something quick for your family, time is of the essence. Well, sign up for the Bitter Ben quick meal program and we will find a way to get you some food within the next 8 hours, … Continue reading Quick and Easy Meals for under $1000 Friday Giftures
Lazy Musicians
Music and I go way back. All the way back to the 80's when Micheal J. Fox was busy time machining to our time, and Sting was following Every Breath We Took. One of my earliest memories was when Friday Night Videos came on TV and I saw Micheal Jackson tell me to Beat It. … Continue reading Lazy Musicians
Kohl’s Cash is the Devil
There has been a lot of talk about money in the news lately. At least I think so, because I don't really have the news on TV, so everything I get is from Youtube, Facebook, Twitter, Wikipedia, and Ben's Bitter Blog. I guess BitterCoin is a thing making headlines for all the money it seems … Continue reading Kohl’s Cash is the Devil
Loss of Interest
I remember when I was a kid and my dad helped me sign up for my first checking account. After doing my favorite thing ever, looking for a job, and going through dozens of job applications, I finally got my dream job of flattening dough at Little Caesar's Pizza. Not only did I get to … Continue reading Loss of Interest
Pallet Jackass
First of all, I am so sad that I wasn’t here to record this. Not only would I have been able to post it to YouTube and become an internet millionaire, but more importantly, I would have been able to cut it up and make it into a gif and put it on my Bitter Friday Giftures. Why do I always miss all the fun accidents on my camera? I have the worst timing! ARRRRGGGGHHHHH!
This is also going in my report:
Admit it, you’ve been there. That place where you’ve had a moment of boredom of work and you’ve dealt with it by doing something outside the rules. Nothing necessarily illegal. Not necessarily dishonest conduct. But something a little bit naughty to break up the monotony of the day. Something that will cause someone in a high visibility vest and a clipboard under his arm to say “This is going in my report”.
One time in a factory there were pallet jacks for hauling large loads around the premises. Not one of those new-fangled automated ones that you could walk alongside while holding a button. I’m talking old school. One that had to be pushed manually. From time to time workers were known to make the return trip on an empty trolley if the floor had a gentle slope just like riding a scooter…
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Let’s Play Jeopardy Friday Giftures
So I have a Jeopardy question for you. Oh, wait they don't do questions. Well too bad. I do things differently around here. So suck, it Trabek. Do you know what the Sunshine State is? If you guessed Florida, you are right. And probably from there. But did you also know that unofficially it is … Continue reading Let’s Play Jeopardy Friday Giftures
Get Perfect Brow Beatings in 30 Days
Are your kids too busy keeping the peace? Working hard getting along with each other? Are they always doing their best, brushing their teeth, washing their face, complimenting the cook and helping with the dishes? Making good decisions and following directions? Trying to get presents for the holidays? I'm here to tell you that you … Continue reading Get Perfect Brow Beatings in 30 Days
Not Savage, but Average
I am always keeping up with most of the new words kids are saying. Don't ask me how, but I used to keep up with the ones when I was a youth by listening to rap music. Now that I'm old though, my daughter bans me from saying anything that is the cool thing to … Continue reading Not Savage, but Average
New Video “Cool” by The CheeseBergens
This is Marissa, one of my long time followers and most frequent commenters. Most of her comments are telling me about how terrible the post was, or how messed up I am, which is true, all true. She slowed down on her blogging as of late so she and family can do like productive stuff or something. She has a family band and is trying really hard to pimp her video, so I decided to give you all a chance to see what her band is all about. Maybe I will check them out sometime too when I’m not too busy not doing work and laying around the couch (and on it). Give her some bitter likes or whatever so her family can continue to rock out and stuff.
Friends! It is a monumental day in CheeseBergens history! Please join us by watching this video premier! Take a moment to indulge in this guilty pleasure and watch myself and my family as we make fools of ourselves! Ladies and gentlemen, I bring you…”Cool”!
If I were a King for a Day Friday Giftures
If I were declared king for a day, that would be a little weird because I don't think I want to live in the UK, or other places where there was a king, but my first declaration would be that my kingly salary would continue after I was king, then resign, and go off … Continue reading If I were a King for a Day Friday Giftures
My Emoji’s
I've ranted on here plenty of times about critics. They always seem to trash any movie you like or want to like and often leave a poisonous taste in your mouth about something. Redbox was having a $.15 cent sale because it is their 15th anniversary last night, so I picked up what many people … Continue reading My Emoji’s
Virtual Crap
I remember it so vividly. Not long ago, maybe a decade ago, video games started this thing called DLC(DownLoadable Content). It was a new idea that video game makers came up with to not only sell you the game, but if you so desired you could buy extra things to either customize or lengthen the … Continue reading Virtual Crap
A Very Merry Christmas Movie Bracket
Talk about December madness. I used to love filling out the NCAA brackets, until I stopped caring about college basketball. It might be because every good player goes to the NBA Draft and ends up going overseas, so I don’t know any of these people.
I love this idea to decide between the best movies of the Christmas season. I, for one, believe Die Hard is the greatest of all time, but it will still be fun to fill out my brackets to see how. And I would love to see a whole new bracket just for all the Hallmark movies. My wife would love that. Anyways, I hope you enjoy and possibly enter the contest.
Earlier this month I thought to myself, you know, there are at least 4.3 million things I should be doing right now, but the most pressing thing on the list is definitely “Make a Christmas Movie Bracket.” That really can’t slip through the cracks this year.
And good news for everyone, it did not slip through the cracks one bit. There is a mountain of laundry lying in this bracket’s wake, but I have absolutely no regrets.
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Tis the Season for Being in a Rush Friday Giftures
Thanks the mayhem of Thanksgiving, Black Friday, Small Business Saturday, and Cyber Monday, people are in all kinds of rushes today. That means stores are going to be crowded, streets are going to be crammed and people are going to be cranky. And what better season to be cranky than a season that is … Continue reading Tis the Season for Being in a Rush Friday Giftures
I actually hopped
So there is news. I may have mentioned a few weeks ago that I finally got a new job and it was permanent. No-contract-temporary-had-to-prove-myself-actually-got-insurance-once-I-completed-my-waiting-period-job. My family sang hallelueh's because I had a job to pay for things, we can finally start looking for houses and we can get the heck out of dodge. I went … Continue reading I actually hopped
Tum’s Bitterly Favorite Day
Early in September, when Tum's feel the first chill of fall, they feel a tingle in their calcium infused hearts. Summer is a bitter season for the Tum's because people do things like spend time outside and exercise. Food is consumed, but people work it off by going hiking, swimming(half an hour after anyways) and … Continue reading Tum’s Bitterly Favorite Day
Ben's Bitter Blog 