A lot of people think of doors as a way to get into a better situation. Some people think of doors as a way to protect themselves from the outside world. But we know what they are really for. They are the introverts best friend. Not only do they keep the bad people out … Continue reading Doors open to Friday Giftures
Sarcasm
The Bitter Edit Button
If you've had any chance to view my blog at all, you know part of the deal is all the errors. I am constantly misspelling wurds, making really terrible transitions, and making all kinds of false claims that can't be verified. It must be a constant annoyance all you bitter followers that are forced … Continue reading The Bitter Edit Button
Guest what I did?
I did work. I did work that I didn't get paid for. That's right. I did a guest post. On someone else's blog. Not on mine. So you're telling me that is how all guest posts work? Ugggh. Anyways, I just wanted to make it clear that I did something out of the bitterness of … Continue reading Guest what I did?
Back in the Swing of Friday Giftures
It's been a long time coming, but someone finally accepted this big ball of bitterness into their office. I will be starting to raise the bitterness quotient dramatically into a new company starting on Monday. I will now have something new to complain about. That's right. I got a job. What is quite ironic is … Continue reading Back in the Swing of Friday Giftures
Flipping the Switch Friday Giftures
A lot of people have this insane ability to be able to flip a switch and be able to turn into beast mode(the Hulk has this ability literally). For a lot of people, the magical elixir is called coffee. Some people can do it in their basketball careers. These professional basketball players have the … Continue reading Flipping the Switch Friday Giftures
My Job Proposal
Hey people, as you know I am in the epic struggle known as trying to find a job. Since no company seems to want to hire me (can't understand why there is not a huge bidding war for a bitter office guy), I've decided that I need to start making up jobs and then … Continue reading My Job Proposal
Glitches
One of my favorite movies is Wreck-It Ralph. The reason why I love it is because it is essentially my life story. Not because I'm not the bad guy in a virtual world that is always around happy people that don't appreciate him. Actually, maybe I am a bad guy in a virtual world that … Continue reading Glitches
Storage Unit Friday Giftures
When we first moved to this place that we are living, we were worried about finding a place to put all our stuff. Don't get me wrong, we threw away, donated or sold a majority of our things, but we still had a bunch of stuff that we needed, but didn't need right now. You … Continue reading Storage Unit Friday Giftures
Roller Skater Hater Friday Giftures
Yesterday I learned that roller skating still exists. I thought it was just a bitter part of my youth. When I was the biggest dork in class (only that last 44 years or so) roller skating was the thing to do for school parties. When I first started skating I was pretty good at … Continue reading Roller Skater Hater Friday Giftures
44 Things that Make Me Bitter
Today is the oldest I've ever been in my history. Because of this unforseen difficulty, your regularly scheduled Bitter Rivalry of the Week has been interrupted to bring you some not nearly as good content instead(kind of like when an update on the White House interrupts an episode of Community). Unfortunately, a yearly tradition … Continue reading 44 Things that Make Me Bitter
Do Not Enter Friday Giftures
There are signs all over that tell you, "Do not enter". I see them a lot when I am driving on the wrong ramp on the freeway. I also hear a lot of people honking when I do that too which is weird, because they are the ones driving the wrong way. Not to mention … Continue reading Do Not Enter Friday Giftures
Big Changes
Not long ago, I worked for a company that worked really hard in March. Our fiscal year end was in March, so the rest of the year, we kind of coasted. We only really tried hard at the end of the months, and end of quarters. But at the end of March, the salespeople … Continue reading Big Changes
Surprise! Friday Giftures
Surprise parties are kind of the worst. Birthdays are already invaded by other people that never talk to you on Facebook all of a sudden sending you profound birthday messages like, "Happy Birthday!" The rest of the day is either work, or family or friends calling you with some super sweet small talk which drives … Continue reading Surprise! Friday Giftures
Come back to the Comfort zone!
Just about every story starts the same way. The hero of our story is sitting around in their comfort zone, pinning away for an adventure. Stuck in their old ways. Wanting something more out of life. Wanting to swim in another direction. Link from the Legend of Zelda, usually starts out in bed. He is … Continue reading Come back to the Comfort zone!
Watch This YouTube Video (that may or may not feature your favorite bitter person)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=watGFxCDq5w I know you people are pretty bad at watching my YouTube videos, as evidenced by the really low amount of people that watched and commented on my videos I did about 1 or two years ago, and the extremely low amount of viralness they have achieved in the YouTube realm, so now that I've … Continue reading Watch This YouTube Video (that may or may not feature your favorite bitter person)
The Unmitigated Disasters of Friday Giftures
This week has just been...uggh. I should have expected that though, as it is my least favorite month of the year. The rejections came fast and furious, usually waiting for just the right moment. I get some sort of momentum going then, Schreechhhh! It's comes to a halt by just a few stupidly placed … Continue reading The Unmitigated Disasters of Friday Giftures
Bitter Rivalry of the Week: Daylight Savings vs. Nightlight Savings
Nobody likes a thief. Yet every year, those of us that are forced to change every one of our clocks(I guess Arizona thinks they are so cool because they don't switch back and forth like the rest of us) because some arbitrary time clock boss tells us we have to, we allow time to be … Continue reading Bitter Rivalry of the Week: Daylight Savings vs. Nightlight Savings
St. Bitter Patrick’s Day Friday Giftures
I've never been much of a St. Patrick's Day guy because I don't like being told what color I'm supposed to wear, and I don't like people in my personal space trying to pinch me. And if they pinch me, I should be growing an inch, not because I forgot to wear green. Plus, when … Continue reading St. Bitter Patrick’s Day Friday Giftures
Rejection Bitterness
I used to play NBA Jams when I was in college and I loved it because it was completely unrealistic. If you weren't from my era, NBA Jams was a baskeball video game that was basically two on two with NBA players that could jump 50 feet in their air for dunks and included no … Continue reading Rejection Bitterness
Walking a Tightrope to Friday Giftures
You know those cats that are on those posters that are hanging on a rope and the stupid caption above their head says, "Hold on or something" or "Hang in there, man, you hang in there, you got that McClane?" Well the gifs being presented today are nothing like those motivational moments. These are … Continue reading Walking a Tightrope to Friday Giftures
Ben's Bitter Blog 