An Ode to A Mother on This Day

Hey Mom, I hear there is some sort of day that happens every year that is supposed to honor you. I forgot to give you a gift all those years and stuff, so I’m gonna do the least best thing. I’m going to resend out this post I did like 4 years ago, because you know, effort. So here you go. Just pretend this is like is a sentimental card, or photo album and I put a lot of effort into it. Love, Your Bitter son, Ben

Good thing my dad knows stuff works or I would be teaching my mom how to open apps. Push the button mom!

Good thing my dad knows stuff works or I would be teaching my mom how to open apps. Push the button mom!

I’ve noticed around the Blogimunity, facebook (facebook doesn’t get a capital letter), and Twitter that many people have been saying really nice things about their moms. It seems like that there has been a simultaneous, worldwide niceness towards moms. I guess everyone has just been really sentimental towards their moms and for that I say what is going on here? I guess since I like to copy everyone else, because I am not original at all, I would like to tell you some bitter things about my mom.

She raised 4 wonderful children and one really bitter one. She was a pretty important part of my survival, but I am kind of bitter that I had to spend 9 months comfortably inside her belly eating whatever she ate (why couldn’t she have eaten more pizza?). I am also bitter that I had to spend 18 years living comfortably in her and my dads house, eating their food, living in their house for free, and accepting their charity of clothes, gadgets, presents, and hugs (How am I supposed to be bitter when you are hugging me all the time?).

Mom always had a way of getting me to do chores without speaking. Weirdo.

Mom always had a way of getting me to do chores without speaking. Weirdo. (Not the actual mom.)

She barely ever made me do the dishes and she only embarrassed me every once in a while by doing Russian dances in Nordstrom’s while buying me clothes. Why couldn’t she neglect me and make me suffer like other mothers? While many people can claim that they got all of their good traits from their moms, I cannot do so. She was never bitter, or angry and never complained about having to deal with 4 good children and one bitter one. I can wholeheartedly say that I got none of my bitterness from her and for that I have much bitterness. I had to cultivate and grow this trait on my own, with no help from her.

So I wish you a bitter day mom. Could you be bitter just once? I didn’t think you could. Have your “good” day then.

Arrrghhh

Your Bitter Son Ben

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34 thoughts on “An Ode to A Mother on This Day

  1. Loved reading your post! She seems wonderful! Happy Mother’s day to her!
    And I loved the gif you added about troubleshooting her computer! Hilarious. I just had my mom updates her iOS. But she doesn’t want anything to change on her phone. ‘It’s an update mom. Some things will change. For the better’!

    Like

  2. “How am I supposed to be bitter when you are hugging me all the time?”

    Now that is an excellent question! It’s hard to be bitter when somebody keeps trying to hug happiness into you. 😄

    Like

  3. What a lousy homage to your mom… Well done! Meh… Done! (more like it) And I would bet that even after being served this re-heated plating of bitter compliments, she is still proud of you! You can only be as bitter as you can, right? 😉 lol

    Like

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