Hey Mom, I hear there is some sort of day that happens every year that is supposed to honor you. I forgot to give you a gift all those years and stuff, so I’m gonna do the least best thing. I’m going to resend out this post I did like 4 years ago, because you know, effort. So here you go. Just pretend this is like is a sentimental card, or photo album and I put a lot of effort into it. Love, Your Bitter son, Ben
Good thing my dad knows stuff works or I would be teaching my mom how to open apps. Push the button mom!
I’ve noticed around the Blogimunity, facebook (facebook doesn’t get a capital letter), and Twitter that many people have been saying really nice things about their moms. It seems like that there has been a simultaneous, worldwide niceness towards moms. I guess everyone has just been really sentimental towards their moms and for that I say what is going on here? I guess since I like to copy everyone else, because I am not original at all, I would like to tell you some bitter things about my mom.
She raised 4 wonderful children and one really bitter one. She was a pretty important part of my survival, but I am kind of bitter that I had to spend 9 months comfortably inside her belly eating whatever she ate (why couldn’t she have eaten more pizza?). I am also bitter that I had to spend 18 years living comfortably in her and my dads house, eating their food, living in their house for free, and accepting their charity of clothes, gadgets, presents, and hugs (How am I supposed to be bitter when you are hugging me all the time?).
Mom always had a way of getting me to do chores without speaking. Weirdo. (Not the actual mom.)
She barely ever made me do the dishes and she only embarrassed me every once in a while by doing Russian dances in Nordstrom’s while buying me clothes. Why couldn’t she neglect me and make me suffer like other mothers? While many people can claim that they got all of their good traits from their moms, I cannot do so. She was never bitter, or angry and never complained about having to deal with 4 good children and one bitter one. I can wholeheartedly say that I got none of my bitterness from her and for that I have much bitterness. I had to cultivate and grow this trait on my own, with no help from her.
So I wish you a bitter day mom. Could you be bitter just once? I didn’t think you could. Have your “good” day then.
Arrrghhh
Your Bitter Son Ben
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Ben's Bitter Blog 
She must be a wonderful lady. I note a lack of true bitterness in this post.
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I think the bitterness is subtle and deep. I’m glad I fooled you with the on the surface non bitterness.
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Haha, I bitterly loved your blog post.
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My mom did too when I wrote it three years ago. This year she probably thought it was me being lazy in not writing one this year.
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That was inspiring.
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I didn’t mean for it to be inspiring. Sorry about that.
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Loved reading your post! She seems wonderful! Happy Mother’s day to her!
And I loved the gif you added about troubleshooting her computer! Hilarious. I just had my mom updates her iOS. But she doesn’t want anything to change on her phone. ‘It’s an update mom. Some things will change. For the better’!
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Yeah, my mom got an Iphone 6, but couldn’t deal with all its simpleness and preferred the smaller and much more complicated Samsung 4, so she could make an excuse not to use it, and just have me call my dad.
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A nice bitter tribute bitter Ben ha ha! You did it with style – ☺
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Worthy of a mother who puts up with this.
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Three cheers to your mum and wish her a happy mothers day (*not bitter one) and Garfield hugs😊
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I will make sure to tell her that you wished her a Happy Mother’s Day.
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She has you and she was never bitter? Hard to believe!
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She had four other good to great kids, so she just focused on their talents.
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Poor woman, finding a silver lining where she could.
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Yep, she does a good job in finding the good from the bitter.
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That was such a nice ode to your mommy. Even if you guys don’t share the same bitter gene.
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Yeah, I must have got my bitter genes from an ancestor that had to cross the sea, and then travel to some faraway place just so he could build his farm and die.
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That’s about right.
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Those ancestors, complaining about the little things.
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“How am I supposed to be bitter when you are hugging me all the time?”
Now that is an excellent question! It’s hard to be bitter when somebody keeps trying to hug happiness into you. 😄
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Luckily, I have a ton of bitterness so she can try all she wants to squeeze it out, but I always have some in reserve. So she just focuses on the other 4.
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Ben’s mom is a gem.
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Yeah, she had to do all this work raising me and all she got was trouble from me. She must have been so depressed to see what I turned out to be.
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I really doubt that! 🙂
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She’s probably like man, dude, why can’t you make money from all this blog stuff?
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She has a point!
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I keep trying and failing at that.
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What a lousy homage to your mom… Well done! Meh… Done! (more like it) And I would bet that even after being served this re-heated plating of bitter compliments, she is still proud of you! You can only be as bitter as you can, right? 😉 lol
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It was so much work to add those additional words at the top that I couldn’t muster anything else for the woman who birthed and raised me. Geesh.
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Awe. Happy Mother’s Day, Bitter Ben’s mom!!
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Well thanks for wishing me a happy mother’s day, but I’m not a mom yet.
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That’s too bad. It could have explained the bitterness. 😂
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I don’t think I would last a day being a mother.
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