As a marketer at heart, I'm always thinking about my audience. (Just so you know, that means no one is really a person to me, just a target market. IE, my mom isn't my mom, just a part of the female senior demographic.) For pretty much the almost 6 years I've been doing this blog, … Continue reading Animal Kingdom Bitterness
Sarcasm
Finesse Friday Giftures
As we all know, I am about as subtle as a hammer. I have no skills in the art of subtlery. I would make a really bad spy because I would be sneaking up behind some thug that I was supposed to off, and I would of course have my tap shoes on and … Continue reading Finesse Friday Giftures
Technibitter
I've been living without a big screen TV for a year and a half now. Cable has been a no show for a year and a half now. That will be coming to an end soon. That means I've missed some pretty angry news. I heard there was this thing called fake news. Then I … Continue reading Technibitter
We are supposed to be uncomfortable
Who loves motivational speakers/speaking? Well not me of course. I just love how much time we as a society spend on motivational speaking. I've probably heard a thousand speeches between work, and movies and YouTube videos and the same thing happens every time. A speaker gets up, tells you how miserable your life is because … Continue reading We are supposed to be uncomfortable
Super Bowl of Chili
Today is the big game! Get your chili, your cheesy fries, and your couch ready because football's ultimate game is today. We could talk about the millions of pounds of food consumed. We could talk about all the millions of dollars spent on gambling and prop bets (those weird ones like what color will Justin … Continue reading Super Bowl of Chili
Some Coal Appeared and Saw Its Shadow Bitter Friday Giftures
Sometimes I get a little confused. I know that today is Groundhog's Day, but does he appear and make a shadow if the winter is going to be six weeks longer or if you are naughty you get coal. Also, which is the one with fireworks? Is it Halloween or St. Patrick's Day? And … Continue reading Some Coal Appeared and Saw Its Shadow Bitter Friday Giftures
Pizza Better for you than cereal
The radio. Often you are forced to listen to it in your car because you can't really do anything else. You're not allowed to text, or play video games, and reading books seems to be out of the question. It's kind of uncool that we aren't even allowed to sleep while we are driving. It … Continue reading Pizza Better for you than cereal
Bitter Guns
I have killed, crushed and mamed 1000's of people in my career. And I'm not talking about their motivations. I've only done that to a few people. I've only done that because I only really talk to the few people that I need to everyday. A boss or two, co-workers that need to stop making … Continue reading Bitter Guns
Standing Desk Only
Let's play a little Jeopardy, which I never do, because you have to think. TV is not meant to make you think. It should entertain you, distract you, give you some background when you are playing games on your phone, but it should never make you think. That's why Jeopardy is for old people that … Continue reading Standing Desk Only
Hungry Like a Wolfgang Friday Giftures
I'm always hungry, especially when I'm not hungry. I love eating well past when I am completely full. I always get so mad when I have to go to sleep because that means I have to go like 5 hours without eating. Who has time for sleep when you are trying to eat all … Continue reading Hungry Like a Wolfgang Friday Giftures
Delicious Moments
Hopefully, you all watch The Office, because that is the language I speak in. Everything in life relates to couches, pizza, and The Office. Since I assume you all watch it and know every episode by heart, I'm just going to go straight into it. Remember the episode of the Office when Andy finally takes … Continue reading Delicious Moments
St. Rude, The Patron Saint of Bitterness
We are all made up of a lot of different little parts of personality; well most of you are. I have been blessed with this bitter personality since I came out of my mother. Actually, probably before that. I was complaining about the tight quarters, the lack of pizza being fed through the veins and … Continue reading St. Rude, The Patron Saint of Bitterness
10,000 Bitter Followers
They say that you need to do something for 10,000 hours in order to be an expert at something. So if I have eaten a 100 grand candy bar 10,000 times does that make me an ultra expert at eating candy bars with chocolate or does that just make me a heart attack victim. Just … Continue reading 10,000 Bitter Followers
Barely Therely Bitter Friday Giftures
I guess a few of you attempted to help out last week with the giftures and for that you will all be handsomely punished! Come on people, you gotta do bitter than that! I expect a lot more heavy lifting from you all around here and you miserably and bitterly failed. How can all … Continue reading Barely Therely Bitter Friday Giftures
Cars are judgy
I spend a lot of time judging people. It's okay though, because I'm old and I've seen a lot of bitter things happen, so I'm qualified to be able to do it. Besides, people judge me all the time, so it's totally okay. Also I keep all my judgements to myself. Oh wait except for … Continue reading Cars are judgy
Remix Specialist
Anyone here a fan of Taco Bell? I used to be, back in the 90's when I was a college student and lived in a town that had no Taco Bell. My friends and I would find someone with a car and excitedly go to another town 30 miles away so we could experience medium … Continue reading Remix Specialist
American Idle
I used to love American Idol. And by love it, I mean mocking all the hundreds of people that watched it. I guess you could say I was the hipster of American Idol because I liked it before it was cool. Not American Idol per say, but this show on WB that came before Idol … Continue reading American Idle
Taylor Made Bitter Friday Giftures
Alright, my laziness has reached an all time low. Or high? I can't decide which one is right. Anyways, as I said last week, it seems like I do all the work around here, with the writing and with the graphic design, ur, stealing gifs from other places, and then you guys also make … Continue reading Taylor Made Bitter Friday Giftures
Directionally Challenged
I used to be a huge fan of Home Improvement. Not my own home, not even close. Like I've ever lifted a finger to improve anything. Nope, just a fan of Tim the Tool man who revolutionized the whole "really good at fixing things" but accident prone enough to make it funny. I loved all … Continue reading Directionally Challenged
Bitter Food
I have had a long standing relationship with food. Ever since I was a baby I required it. I'm not really sure what it has ever done for me, but for some reason I keep eating it. It is this weird thing like how humans need trees and trees need humans. I'm not sure I … Continue reading Bitter Food
Ben's Bitter Blog 