10,000 Bitter Followers

You are all a part of the bitter army now! Now go out and defend me…while I sit on the couch.

They say that you need to do something for 10,000 hours in order to be an expert at something. So if I have eaten a 100 grand candy bar 10,000 times does that make me an ultra expert at eating candy bars with chocolate or does that just make me a heart attack victim.

Just this last week, I obtained my 10,000th WordPress follower. Her name is Dolly and she has a blog called accordingtodolly.com, which means you should go follow her.ย  Does that mean she is now an expert in bitterness? Does that mean you are all experts in bitterness? Or does just mean you guys are all pathetic for having followed a weirdo that somehow keeps feeding you bitter propaganda (or is it prop a panda?) for so many years. What I want to know is who was the brave one to have actually been the first follower?

You are all stuck now!

It had to have been an accident right? Going along in the reader, clicking on her favorite funny people, and accidentally clicked on the wrong follow button, and moved on. Then all of a sudden she starts getting spam in her inbox and she doesn’t know how to get rid of it. No unsubscribe button, and now every two or three days, she gets a dose of bitterness in her box that she keeps having to delete. I feel bad for her, but just like her, you are subject to my bitter control and hypnotic posts that make you continually post comments! MUhahahahhaah!

Anyways, I’m sure you all can’t wait the almost sixty or seventy more years when the blog will get its millionth follower and I will finally get the chance to use the mind control button that WordPress has promised its million subscriber bloggers. It’s gonna be a fun day for me then.

To celebrate 10 grand, here is 100 grand.

Well for all your troubles, here is a 100 grand candy bar, which has nothing to do with this post. Just don’t be disgusting and lick your screen.

ARRRRGGGGHHHHHH

Bitter 10K Ben

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46 thoughts on “10,000 Bitter Followers

  1. Congrats, Bitter Ben! With all these followers comes greater responsibility to spread bitterness. But remember, you can make some people bitter all of the time, and all people bitter some of the time, but you can’t make everyone bitter all of the time.

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  2. You want bitter? My plan is to unsubscribe, putting you back under the much ballyhooed 10,000 followers level, also making the aforementioned accordingtodolly just another of your 9,999 other followers. An hour or so later I swoop back in, click follow and become number 10,000. Then Ben, you can write about me, and add a link to my site which will finally allow me to break that 100 followers mark, all without ever leaving my sofa. Muahahaha!!!

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