We are supposed to be uncomfortable

Me as a demotivational speaker.

Who loves motivational speakers/speaking? Well not me of course. I just love how much time we as a society spend on motivational speaking. I’ve probably heard a thousand speeches between work, and movies and YouTube videos and the same thing happens every time.Β  A speaker gets up, tells you how miserable your life is because you don’t have money, not living the life you should be, not following your dreams, aren’t happy because you don’t have your own business and tell you that they can change your life with three easy steps. Unfortunately, the three easy steps usually include giving back to the speaker.

One, they want more money to help you make more money. You are in a seminar that you got in for “free”, but it is generally just a set up for a new paid thing you have to sign up for. A new seminar, a time share, or a $1000 program that will help you make hundreds.

Two, they want you to do more work. This is usually the boss of your company. They are motivating you to do more work for free. Not giving you more money to do the work, but more “motivation”.

Three, is the movie motivation. They want you to find love. They want you to do something crazy, like hold up a Boom Box in front of a girl at her house in the rain, chase someone to the airport before they leave your life forever, or two weeks, or get married. They want to stalk someone, or change your lazy ways.

I’m making my stomach uncomfortable.

So last week I was in one of these seminars and the theme was to be comfortable with being uncomfortable. Don’t get lazy, keep doing the same thing, try new things and ask for things you want.

Immediately after the seminar, I went to eat because I was hungry and I can’t let my stomach get uncomfortable. So I got some pizza. Then, of course, as soon as I got the pizza, someone announced that they would pay for us to have barbecue chicken and peach cobbler. Since I was just told to be uncomfortable, I decided to make my stomach more uncomfortable. I couldn’t just stop at pizza.

I ate the chicken. Oh and there was free soda in the kitchen, so I couldn’t just let that sit there unloved and neglected. The soda needs to be uncomfortable too. So I got some of that. Then, that night, we didn’t have anything in the fridge, so we decided that we needed something close. And of course, there was a little place down the street that sold pizza. We didn’t want to let my stomach feel comfortable, so we got some pizza.

Then, the next day, I brought my lunch because I like not dying. Some comfort food. Then, someone who came to visit the office decided that they were going to pay for pizza for us. Can’t let my stomach get comfortable. So I ate some, and then some more and then just when my stomach got way too much, I didn’t want it to be comfortable so I ate some more.

I bet the company has been pretty impressed with my uncomfortableness. Just to make things even more uncomfortable, I went to the company party. Talk about awkward.

ARRRRRRRRGGGGGHHHHHH

Bitter Uncomfortable Ben

 

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32 thoughts on “We are supposed to be uncomfortable

  1. HA! πŸ˜€ you are uncomfortable in all the right and important ways, BB! πŸ˜›

    You could be a bittermotivational speaker! Get right to the meat of the matter! After a few honest-bitter suggestions you could have pizza delivered to the whole seminar/group! People would love you! You’d be THE best speaker ever! And you’d get hired a lot! πŸ˜€

    I always get bored fairly quickly in meetings and seminars…and then I get to goofing off and trying to get others to goof off with me. πŸ˜‰ πŸ˜›

    HUGS!!! πŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

  2. “Motivational Speaker” reminds me of a scene in a movie (forget which… History of the World Part One maybe?) wherein some person is applying for some sort of assistance and tries to describe what he does in glowing terms, only to have the gal listening to him respond, “Oh! A bullshit artist!” (And despite my appearance… well, it ain’t art, even I know that.)

    Liked by 1 person

  3. A $1,000 program that will help you make hundreds! πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

    Who in their right mind could ever pass up such an incredible opportunity? That’ll totally pay for itself…uh, well, maybe in another lifetime or two. πŸ˜†

    Like

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