Towel A Ban Bitter Friday Giftures

 

Today, I’m going to go all Seinfeld on you. I know it similar to some of the plots of many of the Seinfeld shows, but who is in charge of the automatic towel dispensers in the bathroom? Some of them roll out a red carpet below your feet before they stop dispensing. Others, like mine, decide that a square of toilet paper is entirely too large and is considered waste. So I have to pull down extra (like about red carpet sized) and then it gets mad and decides it doesn’t want to work anymore. Like how much does this thing have to work? I know it has some early hours, but how much does it have to work? Maybe 7 total minutes a day? I need to know the paper towel Nazi that thinks it is okay to limit me to a square of PT every time my hands need to get dry. On the other hand, at least you know I wash my hands. So there is that. Anyways, on to much less important things…the Bitter Friday Giftures.

This girl is coming to you live…

…from just up the stairs.

Remember that you can’t even tie your shoes these days…

…without getting assaulted.

I keep telling my wife shopping is dangerous…

…because shopping carts.

Trampoline’s aren’t the real enemy…

…it’s gravity.

This girl’s date to the prom…

…is Stairy Potter.

This girls is really good at soccer…

…did you see her block that kick with her head?ย 

This woman has a gift…

…she has a built-in rake detector.

This is what happens when you don’t walk the dog…

…he walks you.

This girl, is what happens…

…when you have a tantrum.

Matt is kind of a jerk…

…he’s always running people over.

Who wants to see three fails…

…in one easy dunk attempt?

On the other hand…

…this guy took on the whole mob, just by dance attack.

Okay, so what major gripes do you have this weekend? I know you have some, so just let it out. Your family is the worst, your car is leaking oil, or that kid is just really annoying. Make sure you have a bitter President’s Day, by complaining about all the presidents you want.

ARRRRGGGHHHHHHH

Bitter Short Towel Service Ben

 

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17 thoughts on “Towel A Ban Bitter Friday Giftures

  1. Who the heck stops to tie their shoe in a basketball game…while actually POSSESSING the basketball??? That girl. As for shopping being dangerous, I have come across several people whom I’d like to take that “cart ride.” Going…DOWN.

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  2. HA! Love the rake detector and the dance attack! ๐Ÿ˜€

    No bitterness in my weekend so far. But there is still President’s Day! ๐Ÿ˜›
    I think I shall spend time thinking about the good presidents!
    HUGS!!! ๐Ÿ™‚

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  3. I work for a technology company, right? Tried and true mechanical towel dispensers weren’t good enough. Yup., just as you describe. And there places with those air hand dryers, No paper at all. Something about our world thinking what works is boring.
    And don’t get me started on my wife’s shiny new-used car; my mechanic buddy tells me as I will need the comfort of the warranty when it goes TU.

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  4. My major gripe is that every day is President’s Day. Every time I turn on CNN, it’s Donald Trump this and Donald Trump that. If they would only limit coverage of the president to just one day a year in February, I’d be much happier and less bitter.

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  5. My office recently installed “automatic” toilet flushers that don’t work. They either don’t flush when you need them to (i.e. courtesy) or they just flush continuously if you don’t shut the stall door when you leave. GRrrrrrr! ๐Ÿ˜‰

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