Remix Specialist

Oh look, an innovate way to use meat, cheese and lettuce!

Anyone here a fan of Taco Bell? I used to be, back in the 90’s when I was a college student and lived in a town that had no Taco Bell. My friends and I would find someone with a car and excitedly go to another town 30 miles away so we could experience medium city living. It was a town that had a 10 store mall, and a movie theater that got first run movies. I think it also had a two story building. Most importantly it had a Taco Bell.

You know what Taco Bell is good at? The ability to mix together meat, cheese and lettuce into thousands of combinations of slightly different foods. Every three months they come out with a “New” food that somehow is exciting, different and innovative. The only thing they are really doing is remixing three different ingredients in slightly different ways and it is working. Somehow, they are still in business.

It is said that there are no original thoughts beyond the 5 or six stories that someone in prehistoric times printed on their cave walls. I haven’t done one original post since I began blogging.  I’m pretty much the Taco Bell of bloggers. I mix those 5 or 6 different stories, say I’m bitter about it, and you suckers buy it time after time.

Ooh look, an innovative way to play Candy Crush.

A lot of people think I’m a creative person to be able to come up with all these blog posts. What they don’t know is I’m just a rapper that samples everyone else’s good work, and remix it with different words. They think I went to college and was this great English major to be able to learn how periods and paragraphs and introductions and conclusions work. They are wrong. All I do is spit my words into a bitter subject machine and it spits out these posts.

I even have a bunch of books in the works that will fool all of mankind. I’m just going to spit it into my Bitter Random Story generator and get some sucker to publish it. You guys are all going to think I sat staring out a window wistfully and deep in thought for hours about how to word this thing or that. I might even get a photographer (my kids) to take a picture of me pretending to think about stuff and put it on the back cover.

What I’m saying is that neither I or anyone else is creative. Which really sucks, because I’m certainly not good at anything like math or computers. So hopefully, I can keep fooling you people into thinking I have some original thoughts. Cause the stupid cavemen took all the original thoughts.

ARRRRRGGGHHHHHH

Bitter Remixologist Ben

 

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30 thoughts on “Remix Specialist

  1. Like the food model you coerced to hold your taco! Or is she pushing you into higher levels of publishing? I am so old there was NO Taco Bell anywhere when in college.

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  2. Oh, fun. Thanks for visiting and leaving me a like. I admit I followed you back. And marked your follow. And read your About. You revived Old Lit college days for me. Especially the only “four” plots behind every story. What were they: God/god; God/man; Man/God; Man/man. But nobody in that place “foot-noted” is origin. I’ll hang around and see what else you can teach me. :F

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