Some personality traits of other people. My personality trait…Just bitter.
We are all made up of a lot of different little parts of personality; well most of you are. I have been blessed with this bitter personality since I came out of my mother. Actually, probably before that. I was complaining about the tight quarters, the lack of pizza being fed through the veins and the weird music my mom was playing on her belly for me to listen to. Eight tracks. Can you believe that? Could you at least do a little Run DMC or something? I mean I know they were still inventing that music then, but at least get in contact or something.
When they say opinions and personalities are formed in the womb, they are right. Anyways, I don’t know if you know much about patron saints, but apparently, they are made up of good people who died and are here to protect a particular group of people from certain kinds of things. For instance, St. Christopher is the patron saint of travelers. St. Luke is the patron saint of doctors (probably why you see a lot of hospitals called St. Luke’s) and St. Patrick is the patron saint of Ireland. Perhaps why we celebrate St. Patrick’s Day in March. Of course, you know I have all this knowledge because I can look up Wikipedia, the source of all knowledge.
Actually, the reason why I even thought of this is that of a song by Florence and the Machine called St. Jude. St. Jude is the patron saint of lost causes, which of course I am so I can relate. On an entirely different vein, I wonder what Saint West (Kanye and Kim K’s kid) is the patron saint of?
Meet St. Rude, the patron saint of bitterness.
Anyways, what you should know is that St. Rude is the patron saint of bitterness. Each morning I wake up and St. Rude is there on the wrong side of the bed, putting sleep in my eyes. Each morning St. Rude puts out things that I can trip over in the dark. St. Rude is especially good at finding Lego’s because he knows they really hurt. He joins me for breakfast and makes sure my toast is burnt, there is just little enough milk that I have to add water or orange juice to my cereal, and he joins me on my commute. He always gets me behind just the right driver that I want to punch their face and feel sorry for them at the same time.
St. Rude loves work. He knows all the bitterness he can cause there. He finds the employees that I need the most that day and helps them stay home sick. He helps me delete only the exact files I need at the time, and he loves helping me stain my shirt in just the right spots. He knows exactly when I need to take lunch or a break, so he finds the most urgent projects that have to be done this minute.
That’s St. Rude for you. Always there to make you bitter just when you need him. It is just really uncomforting to know that he will still be there for you in your time of need…for bitterness. I thank him every day for his service because, without him, I wouldn’t have a personality at all.
ARRRGGGHHHHHH
Bitter St. Rude Ben
Ben's Bitter Blog 
I think St. Rude has started hanging out in my office ever since they took my desk away and gave me the chance to sit on a bar stool or in an uncomfortable arm chair all day. Good thing, too, then I have someone to send my bitter prayers to. Yours in bitterness, amen.
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Yeah, I just got a standing desk and making me stand is a bad idea. I don’t know why people think standing is such a good idea.
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St. Rude, huh. That explains it. And all this time I thought I was just gravity impaired.
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Yep, the patron saints as well as the man are keeping us down.
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It is either St. Rude or St. Brood for me. I better go get my Bitter.
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You got quite a few patron saints after you. Better keep on the move…
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HA! St. Rude makes me snort-laugh! 😀
Would he find my laughter rude?!
HUGS!!! 🙂
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St. Rude is always hanging around me. Wonder why?
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All hail St. Rude for keeping you at your bitter best!
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Yeah, thanks a lot St. Rude. Now I have to keep writing stuff or he pokes me with his pitch fork.
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Does St. Rude have any of those cool prayer candles?
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Yes, but he uses the candles to burn people with.
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I’m still not bitter, just got better from the laughter…
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We’ll work on you then. It will come after years of me repeating posts.
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That is great, let’s test it. BTW, you must be a good marketer, seeing that answer…
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I have worked in Marketing for like 5 or 6 weeks now, so you know I’m totally good at it.
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Hahh, the sheer amount of sarcasm. Gooood
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Pretty much a second language for me. Scratch that, first language.
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Well, he is awfully good looking…
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Yeah, I thought you would like him.
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I saw St Rude in Costco pushing a huge skid of groceries. He just loads it up when he knows I’m coming, to say ‘if you had a bigger place you might be able to buy more!’ Jerk.
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I’ve noticed he likes to spend a lot of time at Costco. Especially when we are there. If it wasn’t for the TV’s I would never let my wife take me there.
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another Gem. And Kim and Kanye are the patron saints of undeserved celebrity and wealth
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And also the patron saints of crappy names for children.
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My, my! I never knew it was St. Rude that messed up my bad days for me. That’s good to know, as it provides me with a way to shift responsibility.
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Exactly. We should never feel like our bitterness or anger is our faults. Always blame others.
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My favorite patron saint is St. Dude, the patron saint of Coolness. He turns on my cell phone flashlight so I don’t trip over those Legos in the dark. When I spill stuff on my shirt, he turns the spilled look into a fashion trend. He makes it so peeps don’t want to cut me off in traffic, because they want to admire my car instead. He’s so chill, I have to wear my shades when I hang out with him.
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Yeah, some people get lucky enough to get St. Dude for a patron saint. Unfortunately, St. Rude monopolizes my time.
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How rude! 😛
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Yeah, he is pretty rude.
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St. Rude sounds like he gets to have a lot more fun than the other more saintly saints. 🙂
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Yeah, except he has to work with me a lot, so he gets bitter himself.
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Oh, St. Rude…….it appears that he travels, because I often find him in my home (that effing cupboard that ricochets back at that special place on your forehead), my special needs felines and oh, wait for it……WALMART!!!! 🙂
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He travels or gets a sick day occasionally, but only after he earns vacation time. He is pretty much full time employed to spend time with me.
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I like you BitterBen. I like you a lot. 🙂
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Oh great! Now I will have to go drink some bitterjuice.
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