Pizza Better for you than cereal

The morning zoo. Crazy animals.

The radio. Often you are forced to listen to it in your car because you can’t really do anything else. You’re not allowed to text, or play video games, and reading books seems to be out of the question. It’s kind of uncool that we aren’t even allowed to sleep while we are driving. It just kind of bums me out.

I do have an Ipod (remember those things?) so if I get tired of hearing the same four songs on the radio, I can listen to the same 15 on my Ipod for variety. I do listen to the morning zoo, which I’m sure is something you all have some form of in your radio markets. They give me miniature versions of what I’m not hearing on all my supposedly reliable other media outlets. You know. Knew about stupid celebrity things that happen that I used to get plastered all over my live TV, so I could get mad at. Now I get these little snippets of it on the morning zoo. Why Kardashian posed for this, or what the idiots do at all the awards shows.

Anyways, I’ve pretty much given up on learning anything new or useful, until the other day. They announced that there was a food that was better for you than cereal before the break just to tease us before they went to commercial. Most of the time, I know that I will be to work before these useless tidbits come on, but somehow they did this one before I got to work. They said, and I paraphrase, “They say pizza is better for you in the mornings than cereal. It contains about the same amount of calories, and actually lasts longer, so you aren’t as hangry later.

I TOLD YOU ALL! HA HA HA! TAKE THAT HEALTH NUTS!

Pizza is better for you than cereal. You all doubted me, but now you have to listen to you little scientists that have unequivially called pizza that best thing ever and you can and should eat it for breakfast. I decree that you should all send you kids off with a nice healthy piece or 10 of pizza before they go to school.

No wonder the doctor has been away from me so long, even though they said an apple a day would keep the doctor away. Try a pizza for breakfast, will keep the doctor amissed!

Top of the food pyramid, baby!

Go ahead and eat your romaine salad that will kill you, and your kale that will kill your tastebuds and your yogurt with Grape Nuts that you think is so healthy. I will be my be eating healthy pizza and super healthy Sprite to wash it all down, living till my hundreds while all you unhealthy tasteless eating weirdos die in your 60’s.

Mic Drop!

ARRRRRRRRGGGGGHHHHHHHH

Bitter Forever Eating Pizza Ben

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22 thoughts on “Pizza Better for you than cereal

  1. You’ve given me so much food for thought, Ben. I only wished my jaw could unhinge like a snake so that I could enjoy even more food. I’ll have to wait a few million year for evolution to add THAT feature.

    Like

  2. HA! This made me snort-laugh! 😛

    YAY! I’m glad you were right and thanks for letting us know! 😀 Now I can give up all my veggies and fruits and yogurt, etc, and put more pizza into my life! 😉 And when people question me about it…I’ll say “But, Ben told me it’s good for me and he’s always right!” 🙂

    What is your fav kind of pizza/toppings?!
    My fav is veggies on a thin crust.

    HUGS!!! 🙂
    PS…have you heard anything about chocolate cake? I always wondered if it would be good for breakfast…it has milk and eggs in it. ?

    Liked by 1 person

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