Standing Desk Only

Only entertaining Jeopardy episode.

Let’s play a little Jeopardy, which I never do, because you have to think. TV is not meant to make you think. It should entertain you, distract you, give you some background when you are playing games on your phone, but it should never make you think. That’s why Jeopardy is for old people that don’t know how to operate phones.

But I have to watch it whenever I visit my parents because they don’t know how to operate their phones. Anyways, I guess Jeopardy is works all weird where they give you the answer and then you have to give them the question. And if you answer it like normal people do, Alex Trabeck gets mad at you and makes you answer in the form of a question. What a freak. Anyways, for purposes of this post we will use his ridiculous form of trivial. So the answer is, “Everything.”

Obviously the question is “What is better than standing?” So why did my work provide the opportunity to stand and work? Because I don’t know. We recently switched to these desks that move up and down, so you stand and work if you know, you are a masochist. A lot of people are pumped because they have heard there are health benefits to standing. I’m like if there is, then I don’t want to be healthy. Standing is the worst. Have you ever been to a concert where you stand the whole time? That sounds not fun.

Have you ever been to a Black Friday Sale and had to wait outside in the cold so you could get a cheap crappy product for a cheap crappy person for Christmas? I have. It was dumb. The whole thing. The standing, the waiting, the gift, the person we gave it to. And that doesn’t even factor in the fight that broke out just to get the gift. The last time I’m ever doing that.

Ever been to a basketball game, where you have to stand every time someone dunks, makes a good pass, dribbles correctly, makes a free throw, misses a free throw, or the other team falls down? I have. I was like I don’t need to stand to see the big jumbotron. I’m so far away from the floor, I was closer to home than I was to the court.

Standing is the worst. I am glad that the desks are adjustable though, because that means I can move it really close to the ground and then create a fort around the rest of the desk and take a nap under there.

How I should be using an escalator.

Whatever you do, though, don’t try to sell the health benefits of a standing desk. If you want to sell me, say that we are getting escalators to everywhere, so I can sit on my way to the car.


Bitter Not Standing Room Ben

13 thoughts on “Standing Desk Only

  1. Pingback: The .Gif Post No. 525 – Mr. Molotov, Happy Water & Escalator Plow | Tacky Raccoons

  2. What the hell? Since when does a company have any interest in their employees’ health? It’s none of their business. But if they force you to stand, I suggest you get a tall bar stool and kind of sneak-sit while looking like your standing.


  3. Haha good post. I like that idea about cranking the desk down into a fort! You must have a great company if they are splurging for those desks. I drive mainly for work, so standing is not in the cards.

    I ‘made’ myself a standing desk at home, because I have been most comfortable drawing from a standing position. How I made it, my kids will be not at all proud to tell you, is to put an under-bed storage bin on top of my existing desk. It’s ugly, but it works. I still like to sit depending on what I am doing. Those desks are so hellaciously expensive though. I suppose in a few years they will be readily available once ergonomics goes full circle and we can work from a prone position.


  4. I’m guessing you really wouldn’t like the Catholic Church. You go to mass and it’s like: sit, stand, sit, stand, kneel, sit, kneel, stand, jump up and down, shake everyone’s hand, sit, stand.


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