You know those stupid career assessment tests you take in high school and college that ask moronic questions about your character traits to determine what career best suits your personality? Since I'm not technical, I don't like math, I'm an introvert, I like working with little or no supervision (and by little I mean none), … Continue reading Ninja Bitterness
Laziness
2 Years, and 300 posts of Bitterness
Back on March 8, 2012, I was pretty bitter. Just like every other day, but this day, I had enough of anonymously being bitter. I had complained one too many times about how hardcore my job sucked to my co-workers and so they called started calling me Bitter Ben. So on that day, I found … Continue reading 2 Years, and 300 posts of Bitterness
It’s I Don’t Fricken Care Friday Giftures
It's Frickin Friday and I don't care. I don't care about work, or science or what I cram down my pie hole. And by that I mean Pizza. I'm gonna slap some tomato sauce or paste or whatever on some crust, lots and lots of cheese, whatever kind, and pepperoni, put it in an oven, … Continue reading It’s I Don’t Fricken Care Friday Giftures
My terrible interview with James Lipton on Inside the Bitter Actor’s Studio
As you may know, I was recently preparing my speech for my nomination to get into the Bitter Hall of Fame. Though I was nominated, I didn't get in. As per normal, I got within in one vote of getting in and I blame the people who don't follow my blog. To say I am bitter about it is an … Continue reading My terrible interview with James Lipton on Inside the Bitter Actor’s Studio
A preview for my speech into the Bitter Hall of Fame
I was watching the credits of a movie the other day, and they were long. Really long. An hour and a half later, I woke up and they were still running. Sure it was an epic show, (so much drama, Grown Ups 2) , but what I learned is that it clearly it takes a lot … Continue reading A preview for my speech into the Bitter Hall of Fame
In case you missed it…because you were watching some award losing movies
Welcome to the off orange colored carpet, where we welcome all the really bad stars of really bad movies. As you know almost every single person either nominated or not nominated loses, so let us really focus on how much a bunch of losers we all really are. To do so, let's rehash old(all … Continue reading In case you missed it…because you were watching some award losing movies
Magically Bitter Friday Gifitures
Magic has been in the air lately. By in the air, I mean on the air. And by on the air, I mean on TV. Now You See Me, The Wonder Burt Wonderstone, Harry Potter... They have all been on TV this week, which means that magic is in the air. So I assume that … Continue reading Magically Bitter Friday Gifitures
Winning the Complaining Game
Some people think that America's pastime is baseball, lacrosse, or barbequing on the Fourth of July. Sure, those things are all pretty American, but those things on occupy our time when we have leisure time. I don't know about you, but I spend most of my time at work dreaming about leisure time, that other things … Continue reading Winning the Complaining Game
Xbox bitterness (aka Xbitterness)
People like shiny things. Many of you, not me, are fooled by stuff that looks new and has be purchased because it will make you look like a vampire from Twilight. Instead I prefer to wait to get the next big thing until it is year's old. (See: my phone, my clothes, my house, car, … Continue reading Xbox bitterness (aka Xbitterness)
Friday Giftures Losing
Losing is a way of life for a bitter person. From the very start I found a way to turn almost sure wins into bitter defeats. Before my arms were able to do anything but move around spastically like a Saturday Morning Cartoon, my mom would pretend to feed me stuff that looked like pudding, but … Continue reading Friday Giftures Losing
President’s Day Bitterness
For 13 years now, or basically every year since I started working at my current job that I hate, the worst day of every year is one that you wouldn't expect. It is the day after President's Day and it is for particular reasons. 1. It is about a month and a half before our … Continue reading President’s Day Bitterness
In case you missed it…Because you were busy becoming a Bitter All-Star
As you know, it is NBA All-Star Weekend and it is all about millionaires celebrating how great they are. They work really hard at not playing defense, lazily dunking on each other and trying to outdo each other to prove who is the Alpha Male of all Alpha Males in world of basketball. Because you … Continue reading In case you missed it…Because you were busy becoming a Bitter All-Star
The Bitter Gravity of Friday Giftures
Gravity has been working hard this week. Snow had been pressing down on the east coast; skiers, snowboarders and curlers have fought it miserably in a place called Sochi, and gravity has even claimed billions of dollars from wallets on Valentine's Day crap. Luckily, the old guy on those H&R Block commercials is going to give me all my … Continue reading The Bitter Gravity of Friday Giftures
In case you missed it…Cause you were busy ignoring me all week
This week I spent a lot time and effort writing words and putting pictures on this blog in order to make sure people were completely ignoring me and they didn't disappoint. First, I typed some nonsensical words about Lego's and the Lego Movie and how they are so stupid, that they are only good for … Continue reading In case you missed it…Cause you were busy ignoring me all week
Revenge of the Giftitures
My entire life and I assume everyone else's, people have been mean. That is thing about us humans. We have an innate desire to be mean. The way you react to people shows the type of person you are. Most people do their best to turn the other cheek or discuss their feelings with someone about how the mean thing makes … Continue reading Revenge of the Giftitures
Lego Bitterness
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rtu62Gklgso When I was in my formative toy playing years (1973-1987 uh...2014), I was a huge, unapologetic Transformer fanboy. No need to be a hater or jealous. I would probably still have a Generation 1 Optimus Prime in mint condition in the box(worth $550 on ebay) had I not pulled Optimus Prime out of the … Continue reading Lego Bitterness
In Case you Missed It…Because you were trying to find something Super to watch this week
Clearly there is nothing on TV tonight, especially if you are looking for some Sunday night football related television programming. I think there is an animal show about some horses and a bird from the sea, and then later there was someone playing from Mars and a red hot chili peppers eating contest somewhere, but … Continue reading In Case you Missed It…Because you were trying to find something Super to watch this week
Friday Giftures and Goal Disappointment
It is Friday and things have been a little too ambitious up in here. For instance, I hear the weather in the vortexy area of the United States is working overtime stacking two inches of fat stacks of white frozen angel water upon the grounds of Georgia. When even weather is trying to meet goals, it … Continue reading Friday Giftures and Goal Disappointment
Bread Bitterness
If you are not a nutritional expert like me, then you will probably not know this about bread. It has carbs, which means some people avoid bread and it other gang members like the bulbonic plague. If bread was a person, it would be one of those unassuming people, perhaps a co-worker or friend on facebook that … Continue reading Bread Bitterness
In case you missed it…because you were busy failing at playing in traffic
I understand weekends get really busy doing things like perusing the internet for movies to go to, watching people on TV hiking and biking and watching the snow outside not being shoveled. Then there is the whole playing in traffic. Since I am an observer of other people in general, and also a connoisseur of … Continue reading In case you missed it…because you were busy failing at playing in traffic
Ben's Bitter Blog 