The Bitter Gravity of Friday Giftures

Gravity has been working hard this week.  Snow had been pressing down on the east coast; skiers, snowboarders and curlers have fought it miserably in a place called Sochi, and gravity has even claimed billions of dollars from wallets on Valentine’s Day crap.  Luckily, the old guy on those H&R Block commercials is going to give me all my billions back.  So to get an early start on a weekened that starts with a Saint (the Saint of sappiness and sapping your money) and a Robocop(who I wish would sap my money), and ends with a celebration of Dead Presidents (and hopefully my billions of dead presidents back) let’s look back on all the lives (or at least dignity) that gravity has claimed.

Stopping to ponder a great idea….

...annnnd  GOT ONE!

…annnnd GOT ONE!

Why don’t you make like a tree…

crap, my chair

…and get out of here..

Water you doing..

too cool for pool.

getting so car-ied away.

Let’s ramp things up a little…

too pool for cue

cannon bike!

And now I will attempt to crack my head open in rush hour traffic…


Ooohhh!  Epic Fail!


Well how about I get my sticky note to crack his head open…


…Nope! Still failing…


Now this biker is finally showing us how gravity works…


in Epic Monster Truck style…


The Force has learned to delay gravity for a little while…


…and your trip up to the 13th floor.

And you know who is really good at dropping all four chambers of your bitter heart into your stomach… 


…this extinct guy.

This guy is the master of gravity…


…until moments later, when his invisible jet pack failed. 

So whether you fail at Valentine’s, or getting President’s Day off, or with gravity somewhere in between, we will see you next time…unless gravity continues to hold me firmly on the couch, never to let me go from it’s overpowering clutches…


Bitter Gravity Ben

50 thoughts on “The Bitter Gravity of Friday Giftures

  1. Pingback: In case you missed it…Because you were busy becoming a Bitter All-Star | Ben's Bitter Blog

  2. HEY, BEN, what’s up? Love the video of the student kerplunking into unconsciousness via someone’s un-handy work…:). And I agree with the whole over-commercialism of Valentine’s Day, I don’t care about roses that will die in a couple days, but dinner out is definitely required because you’d hear my bitchiest roar all the way to Seattle if I had to do dishes tonight! LOL. However, it doesn’t have to be expensive. In fact, we’re going to local Mexican Cantina where my favorite entree costs $7.00, including chips/salsa. And as a gift to one another, I suggested going to our local animal shelter and adopting another dog. Our black lab has been extremely lonely since her mate died last spring. My husband agreed. Valentine’s Day – easy peasy, and we have a fenced in yard, so no one has to freeze their tuckus off wading through 7-degree weather/snow to walk said canines! 🙂

    Oh, and, btw, if you’re a fan of THE WALKING DEAD, check out my latest rant at: …apparently, this particular tirade is a big hit in Madagascar. Yeah, I know right? But there were twice as many views of that post from folks in Madagascar yesterday than in the U.S., so I guess my words of woe regarding my favorite show were effected by gravity as well, LOL…geographically speaking since it’s in Southeast Africa…kinda freaky.

    TENACIOUS BITCH and company…:)


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