As you know, it is NBA All-Star Weekend and it is all about millionaires celebrating how great they are. They work really hard at not playing defense, lazily dunking on each other and trying to outdo each other to prove who is the Alpha Male of all Alpha Males in world of basketball. Because you know, it’s a team sport and it is all about how high they jump and posterize each other as opposed to who actually wins the game. The best part is the winners of everything get even more money for winning, because you know, they don’t have enough money.
Luckily, I spent all kinds of time being All Star bitter this week. I didn’t get to type out how truly bitter I was, because I was actually being bitter about work. Though I have been bitter about my job for a long time. Like 40 years I think?
Since it was Valentine’s Day this week, and 99% of people are bitter about it, and 2% like it(I think that adds up to 100%, not so good at math), I decided to take an inside look at the Four Chambers of my Bitter Heart, all four chambers. It wasn’t pretty, but since when has anyone’s heart been pretty. It’s full of blood and veins and all kinds of squishy stuff. My heart is an All-Star MVP when it comes to being bitter.
Then there was the All Star of the Entire Earth, Gravity. People try to fight it, but they always lose in the end. Which causes bitterness and that is what life is all about. Bitterness. So Friday, I themed my Giftures around Gravity.
I twitted stuff this week and my Klout score did not make the All-Star Team. In fact, the tweets got cut from the team. Perhaps you could help get them at least on the bench by viewing the items below. Or maybe not. I have no idea how Klout works, other than I have none in my life, so why would I have any on Twitter?
People did comments about stuff:
The Four Chambers of My Bitter Heart:
“I had brussel sprouts sauteed in bacon grease today–That is one way to disguise a vegetable to get into the Chamber of Cholesterol.” artjen1971
“I’ll be in the chamber of cholesterol on friday (well actually that’s everyday). And you will be happy to hear that I have been feeling very BITTER lately.” brickhousechick
“The Chamber of Cholesterol sounds like fun. All the best food groups dancing around together! I’m going to need a chamber reserved for post-Valentine’s day chocolate. Because, chocolate.” Miss Four Eyes
The Bitter Gravity of Friday Gifitures:
“Most people get flowers and candy for valentines day. I’m getting a tooth pulled.” Floridabourne
“G-force, activate!!! happy and bitter everything )” Ksbeth
And….some bonus all star giftures…
Okay, let’s get this party started…
Make sure you play some defense…
Now get back to watching overpaid athletes make more money and fight it out for Alpha Male status…or something else really boring.
All Time Bitter Great Ben