Once upon a time, a tall, clumsy, bitter farmer lived in a dark land near the forest. Though privileged in many ways compared to many in the land, he always found a way to complain about how bitter his life was. The cloud covered the sun too much, the air contained a foul stench, there … Continue reading The Unlimited Pool of Dada
Entertainment
Tis but a Bitter Part in this Play We Call Life
Have you ever felt too adequate? Ever felt way too appreciated by all the Twitter followers you bought for $99? Ever felt like your uniqueness as person has made you a little too special? Your athletic talent made you feel vastly superior to everyone else? Ever felt like your voice was so much better than … Continue reading Tis but a Bitter Part in this Play We Call Life
Bitter Friday Party Giftures
Friday's are normally associated with pizza, being lazy at work, and Parties. One of these things are not like the other. I've never much liked parties, because I don't like loud, I don't like people, I don't like talking and I don't like being on someone else's couch. In fact, the only good thing about … Continue reading Bitter Friday Party Giftures
Bitter Field Trip
This summer has been just full of it. Ever since it started way back in 2016, it has been nothing but a headache. In early May, we decided to take an Indiana Jones sized leap of faith across the chasm and move with me having no job, or any promise of income when we got … Continue reading Bitter Field Trip
Bitter Late than Never Friday Giftures
I'm pretty sure the internet/blogosphere/Wordpress has learned to adjust to life without me, but I have not learned to adjust to life without it. Even though I have taken an involuntary break for 4 days without blogging which I would never do on purpose, my thoughts are never far from bitterness. Every little slight, … Continue reading Bitter Late than Never Friday Giftures
National Laziness Day Bitterness
Early yesterday morning when I was sweating away from all the moving of boxes, and moving my body around sans couch, somebody mentioned to me that it was National Laziness Day and I couldn't have been more bitter. Here I was not only not notified about the greatest holiday this side of national pizza week, … Continue reading National Laziness Day Bitterness
Bitter Security Beach
I bet you have not been wondering at all where I have been. Which is why I'm going to tell you. Since my self inflicted unemployment, I have been not working. At least I've been trying not to. But for some reason, I keep having to pack, fight against dust bunnies, throw stuff away, which … Continue reading Bitter Security Beach
Flying the coop Friday Giftures
I'm know most people don't fly the coop until they are at least 18 years old, but as a 15 year old...employee, I feel like I'm immature enough to make a failure out of myself in the big bad world of not here. So, I'm spreading my broken wings and I'm going to fly, … Continue reading Flying the coop Friday Giftures
Bitter Good Byes
"It's so hard to say goodbye to yesterday." - Boyz 2 Men, Boys To Men? Those four guys that harmoniously sang things in a group setting while recording stuff? Actually, it isn't really hard to say goodbye to yesterday, because yesterday is already gone. It's hard to say goodbye to people because people all want … Continue reading Bitter Good Byes
Bitterness Advisor
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZPlkKVIJ1S8 On July 1, 2001 I put in my 15 year notice at this job and told them that they had to find a replacement for me, or lose out on all the precious training that I would provide a new person on how to totally mess up a job here. Apparently they thought they … Continue reading Bitterness Advisor
My Motto? One Call can ruin it all
As you have probably figured out, I've been a bitter guy for my entire life. If you haven't figured that out yet, then you probably need to read a few posts, which I know you won't and that will make me even more bitter. It's part of the bitter cycle that always lead to bitterness. … Continue reading My Motto? One Call can ruin it all
Bitter Miscalibration Friday Giftures
If you've ever watched the cable channel IFC, you know that their slogan is "Always on, slightly off." It's because it's the channel for hipsters, who's motto is "I liked so and so something or other BEFORE it was cool." I'm actually the anti-hipster, not only because I have a hip that always hurts … Continue reading Bitter Miscalibration Friday Giftures
What’s with the Cannibalistic Cereal?
I was laying in my Lazy Ben recliner the other day, watching some TV and some commercials came on. As an aside, I'm pretty bad at most things, but I'm pretty good at recognizing patterns. If there were ever a job that required me to point out pointless and dumb similarities that two people had, … Continue reading What’s with the Cannibalistic Cereal?
Bitter People Repellent
The other day I was forced into doing two things to sell my house. 1. Go outside and 2. Talk to people. Those two things are the leading causes of headaches, night sweats, jitteriness, and bitteriness. Obviously those things slice to my very core and make me want to parkour into some blackberry bushes. Even … Continue reading Bitter People Repellent
My Bitter Guest Post on Suzie’s Speaks
I know your Sunday is super busy filled with activities such as laying around, getting ready for brunch at 11 am and hanging out on your 40 foot yachts, but I'm going to ask you to interrupt your super important plans and spare a square of your time and ask you to run(or walk or … Continue reading My Bitter Guest Post on Suzie’s Speaks
Air Bitter N Bitter
It's that time of year when the sun is out, the birds are chirping, the days are longer and the porch is calling for you to drinking a nice refreshing lemonade. The kids are out playing in the yard, running through the sprinklers or happy playing in the yard. So why not kill that buzz … Continue reading Air Bitter N Bitter
High Percentage Bitter
I'm not exactly what you would call a math savant. In fact, what most people would call me is the low end of the totem barrel. At the beginning of a semester of a math class, my high end goal was C-. You know, just enough to get by, to not get a D or … Continue reading High Percentage Bitter
Pokemon Go Away
Back in 1998, I was a recent grad from college, working at my dream job of telemarketer, and I would get super bored between calls. Luckily, I had a Nintendo Game Boy and I had discovered this new game called Pokemon. It captured my imagination, because it was about being a 10 year old. A … Continue reading Pokemon Go Away
The Weapons of The Introvert
I imagine being an extrovert can be a pretty bitter and exhaustingly hard job. You are always on the offensive, trying to hunt down people to interact with, to way overtalk with; like a mosquito trying for its next human arm fix. Though somehow I'm sure even the hunt for other people is energizing to … Continue reading The Weapons of The Introvert
Weeds are more successful than me
I've always taken great pride in being really bad at things. I joke about how bad I am at math, but it really is amazing how I can't even help my 6th grade daughter with her homework. She isn't even to Algebra yet. I think it's humorous how bad I am at fixing things … Continue reading Weeds are more successful than me
Ben's Bitter Blog 