Bitter Car Pictures of the Week

Sometimes it is just easier to have someone else do things for you.

Sometimes it is just easier to have someone else do things for you.

Doesn’t it make you bitter when you just want someone else to do your work for you, because you are lazy? Well, not only am I lazy, but I am incompetent.  I don’t know anything about cars, except how to operate the windshield wipers.  And even those I get confused with.  Which button makes them go slow and which makes them go medium?  How about really fast for those occasional monsoons? I ponder things like this not all.  So when it comes to getting my oil changed I usually go to an oil change facility.  But when I leave it seems like the car is even more messed up than when I got there.  I wonder why….

 

I was texting someone this very thing on the way home yesterday!

I was texting someone this very thing on the way home yesterday!

Speaking of texting and driving, I was texting someone yesterday while going 103 and I was getting all these really bitter stares from other drivers who were wondering why I kept running over bikers.  It wasn’t because I am bitter about them, (though I am), but because I was just trying to avoid a speeding red turtle shell.  I didn’t want to get run over by the shell, so I was polite and collided with other cars instead.  They kept waving their fingers at me, so I could tell they understood.

For people like me who have hard time expressing theirselves to other people on cell phone,

I like to bring awareness to my bitterness.

For passive aggressive people like me who have a hard time expressing themselves bitterly to the ones they are closest to (the car behind them), someone invented Bumper Stickers.  They are many things, but mostly a good way to annoy other people when they are looking up from their cell phones.   They are also a permanent way to make your car worthless for resale (Mondale for President 1984?).  The biggest thing of all though, is that it is a way for people who aren’t funny to show that permanently.

And that, my Bitter People, is why I don’t pay attention when I am driving.

Arrrrggghhhhh

Bitter Picture Ben

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94 thoughts on “Bitter Car Pictures of the Week

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  6. Can you imagine what your car would smell like if you actually poured oil all over it ? It is scary to imagine… You can tell I’m bitter about bad smells, especially coming from people… 😦

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  7. Bitterly funny as usual. Not sure if this is on a bumper sticker but I’ve seen it on Men’s t shirts mostly; “Please tell your breasts to stop staring at my eyes”. I think that’s brilliant! 🙂

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  8. Your turtle shell comment reminded me of a twitter post someone made in which he said he never stopped his car to remove turtles from the middle of the road because he was always afraid they might be in a race.

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  9. I love it when people have tried to remove their god-awful bumper stickers, only gotten it partially off, and left the rest. Bet they got bitter over that, when really they should have been bitter over just having one to begin with. LOVED this entry.

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  10. OMG.
    I am peeing down my leg.
    Awesomeness.

    I’d be the one lookin up and reading the bumper sticker, rushing to speed by the driver and flip him off. Only to stop at the next store and by the same dang bumper sticker! HA!

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  11. LOVE the girl in the GIF…laughed too much at this post. Guess you won this round. Your nemesis has no ill comments to make. But don’t start GLOATING, or shall concede my concession and propel my remote-controlled flaming vehicle, covered in OIL with a DUKAKIS bumper sticker straight into your living room! 🙂
    Peace out…
    TenaciousBITCH

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  12. My favorite bumper sticker was on a beater car. It read: “The Earth does not belong to man, man belongs to the Earth.” As I was reading it, the driver rolled down a window and tossed out a McDonald’s bag.
    That made me bitter.

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  13. My unfunny bumper sticker just says the name of my blog. Since I added it to my car, the number of times I’ve been cut off and honked at has increased 300%.

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  14. I’m a bit bitter that my brother the mechanic now lives on the other side of the world to me. I miss having someone I could call when smoke started gushing out the exhaust or knocking noises started under the bonnet.

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  15. I have several favorites when it comes to bumper stickers. When I lived in California, I bought one that said, “Welcome to California, now go home.” The one that said, “If you’re not a hemorrhoid get off my ass” was a good one, but it attracted too many speeding tickets for the driver. It seems that law enforcement gets steamed when they’re behind a car with that bumper sticker.

    I understand your frustration with fixing things. I can break anything with gears just by using it.

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  16. I like the cars with bumper stickers that cover the entire back windshield, providing extra safety, and something good to read at the stop lights:)

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  17. I hate spending money on getting my oil changed, since I know how to do it myself but I’d rather not. Same goes with anything else on it, I don’t know anything about american made cars, other than they are made so you have to take them in to get them fixed because they are a pain in the ass to do yourself!

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