I've been told by television that if you exercise and eat right for like a year, you will lose half your body weight. Your life will "be transformed", everyone will "fake" like you, and you will "find the person of your dreams" and you will get the "promotion you've been striving for", you will get … Continue reading Let Us(By Us I mean You) Get Some Exercise this Weekend Bitterness Giftures
bitterness
10 Things Ready for a Bitter Break Up
A couple of days ago, I was watching the Bachelor's Paradise. These are people that have been on the Bachelor and "didn't win" in their particular cycle as if not getting engaged to the one girl or boy amongst all the contestants is losing. What we all know is that in the end is that they … Continue reading 10 Things Ready for a Bitter Break Up
The Supermoon
I spent most of the day Saturday out in the middle of nowhere Washington, at a family reunion. It was at a Great Uncle or something's house that had a sprawling 10-15 acres (I have no idea how big acres are. Let's just say it was a big yard.) In the back, there was a … Continue reading The Supermoon
My Bitter Stunt Double
I've been waiting to say something mean to my co-workers all day. I know it is only 6:05 am and none of them are here yet, and they haven't said their morning stupid thing yet, or had a chance to avoid doing my work for me yet, but I am primed and pumped to ruin … Continue reading My Bitter Stunt Double
Spurs NBA Champ Bitterness
Since 1990, when I was in high school in South Dakota, I've been a fan of the San Antonio Spurs. People thought it a little strange that someone from South Dakota would be a fan of a team that was not only really far away, but a team that wasn't even regionally relevant. But I … Continue reading Spurs NBA Champ Bitterness
Why do I watch Bitter TV?
Some people might know me as a person that works and does things and when I get the time, I watch television. The fact of the matter is that I'm not so much a really lazy person, but more of a semi-ambitious couch. I do get up on occasion to feed myself and check … Continue reading Why do I watch Bitter TV?
Living Down to Bitter Expectation Giftures
There has been a lot of talk in the NBA lately about legacy. Will Lebron and the Heat be able to win three Championships in a row and solidify his "legacy" as one of the greatest ever? Will Tim Duncan and the Spurs win one last one and retire as one of the best ever … Continue reading Living Down to Bitter Expectation Giftures
In case you missed it…because the media was chasing you
You just typed the blog of your life and that one person that wrote a book, accidentally followed you. All of a sudden, your blog is blowing up, and you are adding like 5 followers a month. All of a sudden, rumors are flying around about the bacon vegan meal you had, the scandalous … Continue reading In case you missed it…because the media was chasing you
Breaking Down the Bitter Walls
There are walls everywhere. Some are mobile and go 70 miles an hour in rush hour. Others are tiny and whiny and somehow live in the same neighborhood as your kids, want to eat all your food and mess up your house, play all your video games, then leave without a care in world, … Continue reading Breaking Down the Bitter Walls
Bitter Memory Friday Giftures
If there is something I lose more than my wallet(which of course I forgot or lost this morning), it is my memory. Every time I wake up in the morning I lose about every shred of a dream I might have had. Probably a good thing, considering how bitter my dreams probably are. Pretty much … Continue reading Bitter Memory Friday Giftures
From The Bitter May Snowstorm to Bitter Ben Gardner Newsletter Vol. 3
Seattle is one of the few places in Western hemisphere where it can go a whole year without snow from October to April, but somehow hammer us with snow in May. When I first moved here 13 years ago and witnessed the phenomenon, I couldn't believe what I was seeing. The worst part was the … Continue reading From The Bitter May Snowstorm to Bitter Ben Gardner Newsletter Vol. 3
Bitter Problems
It's a perfect day outside. The sun is shining, traffic is light, birds are chirping, welcoming the season of spring gently. A hard month end is over, so work will be light, co-workers will be happy and customers in a good mood. Maybe I can even go outside for lunch, get a little sun and … Continue reading Bitter Problems
41 Things I’m Bitter About
It is again that time of year when I get to celebrate all the people asking me stupid questions like, "What are you going to do today?" and "What kind of cake do you want?" and "What presents did you get?" and "How can I annoy you the most today on the day that you … Continue reading 41 Things I’m Bitter About
In case you missed it, because I missed doing it
I am in an undisclosed location that absolutely does not rhyme with DUtah, under strict orders by myself to not to do work, but the Mr. Work Enforcer (me) never said anything about blogging, even though it is a lot of work. I'm in an overground bunker that they call houses here, that has … Continue reading In case you missed it, because I missed doing it
The Keys to Becoming a Better Bitterer
As the internet's number 2(because who is more bitter than someone who is only second best) leading expert in Bitterness, I have not once been asked to give a lecture or speech on how it is done. When I figured out that people had absolutely no desire to learn the bitter trade, that is when … Continue reading The Keys to Becoming a Better Bitterer
The Bitter Divide
Last night I was watching the X-Men: First Class and one of the many themes of the movie was divisions and what causes them. At first, most of the X-Men are friends because of the mutual abilities that made the different/better than regular humans with no gifts. The world isn't sure what to do with … Continue reading The Bitter Divide
Mayhemy Friday Gifitures
March is the worst. You know the drill. There is the weather, that really let's be honest goes in like a lion and out like a lion. There is your finals that you have to get ready for, unless you are not in school. Or it is your fiscal year end at work and you … Continue reading Mayhemy Friday Gifitures
In case you missed…In case you missed it from last week bitterness
Talk about boring and meta. Just when you thought this blog couldn't be any more boring, I decided to do an in case you missed it, about an in case you missed it that I missed doing last week. Confused and zoning out yet? Good. Now I can just remind myself of what I did … Continue reading In case you missed…In case you missed it from last week bitterness
Tired Friday Gifture Bitterness
I don't know if it is the fact that daylight savings time happened this week, or that the fact that I have been asked to do work at my job this week, or that I just decided to not sleep this week, but I'm tired. The only tired I want to do is Retired. And … Continue reading Tired Friday Gifture Bitterness
Ninja Bitterness
You know those stupid career assessment tests you take in high school and college that ask moronic questions about your character traits to determine what career best suits your personality? Since I'm not technical, I don't like math, I'm an introvert, I like working with little or no supervision (and by little I mean none), … Continue reading Ninja Bitterness
Ben's Bitter Blog 