Spurs NBA Champ Bitterness

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Look how happy they are.  Well, how about all the bitterness you caused me by not winning all those years you didn’t?

 

Since 1990, when I was in high school in South Dakota, I’ve been a fan of the San Antonio Spurs.  People thought it a little strange that someone from South Dakota would be a fan of a team that was not only really far away, but a team that wasn’t even regionally relevant.  But I liked the way that David Robinson played.  So me and my only friend from high school would follow them from afar, occasionally getting to listen to them on the radio at night when the radio station WOAI broadcast at 50,000 watts(I know the ancient early 90’s right?).  Even more rare was the chance that we got to go to Minneapolis and see them play as the visiting team against the Minnesota Timberwolves.  But mostly, I read about them in a thing called a newspaper or got highlights on the local news, before ESPN was a thing.  Somehow, I was able to find some cool Tye dyed looking shirt that made people’s eyes bleed and assured that everyone at my school know that I was in fact, the nerd that they really knew I was.  My locker was littered with newspaper clippings of really important games that they won, like that really important December win over the worst team in the league.  In David Robinson’s rookie year, they went to the playoffs and lost in the second round to the Portland Trailblazers in a devestating gave seven that I can still remember to this day.  Since then, they been to the playoffs every year since, except for one.  And even that one disaster of a year lead to them taking Tim Duncan in 1997, a pillar of the Spurs to this day.  On Father’s Day Sunday, 24 years after that first year I started following the Spurs, they won their 5th NBA Championship.  More than any other team except for the Celtics, Lakers, and Chicago Bulls.  My guess is you think I have nothing to be bitter about with a team that has had such good fortune over the 24 years I have followed them…but you would be wrong.  How about I make a list about some ways that I am bitter about the Spurs.

I think you should play at least until 2051 to pay off all the money we've paid you over the last 17 years.

I think Tim should play at least until 2051 to pay off all the money we’ve paid him over the last 17 years.

They make more money than me.   The aforementioned Tim Duncan, who is considered one of the top 10 players of all time, is humble and quiet and unassuming and boring right? Right.  Well, he has also made a gross amount of money in his career.  When they call him a lottery pick, they aren’t joking.  He has probably made between 250-300 million over his career.  Even if you won one of the biggest lotteries of all time, you still probably haven’t won this amount of money.  Last year, as a kind gesture, he took a pay cut of 50% so that the Spurs could sign some more players.  Most players in the NBA, even at their grossly huge salaries and on the huge downslide of their career wouldn’t do that, but let’s be real.  Even a 50% paycut paid him $10 million a year instead of $20 mill.  Let’s break down how much money that is.  The NBA has 82 games a year, so if he played all 82, (which he didn’t) that means he made $121,951.22 per game.  Ladies and gentleman, I didn’t even make that much money last year, and I am a bitter blogger that makes zeros of dollars.  So if they are making that much money a game, I expect that they will at least average 1800 points a game, 600 assists, 1500 rebounds, 500 blocked shots, 300 steals, never commit a turnover and play games that last 18 hours.  Am I right?

Only 5 in the last 14 years? That's only 35%.  Sounds like you are going to have to held back to the NBDL until you can get at least a passing grade.

Only 5 in the last 14 years? That’s only 35%. Sounds like you are going to have to be held back to the NBDL until you can get at least a passing grade.

They don’t have to live up to the same standards as me.   I went to school as a young person.  I was asked to learn things.  Like the alphabet.  And the mathabet.  And the scienceabet.  And the teachers wanted us to retain some of the learning. They made us take math every year.  They made us use the alphabet over and over again.  They made us take tests AND they judged us and graded us on them.  Do you remember how much of a percentage they wanted us to get just to pass? I think not to get an F, you had to get at least 60% right? Well the Spurs just set an NBA record for shooting percentage in an NBA finals.  Guess what percent.  52.8%. That amounts to lower than an F in school. And they got all kinds of praise.  How about their 3 point shooting? Probably around 40% or something.  Wouldn’t the teacher make you go back three grades for that?

Yeah, now we get four months off for summer break!

Yeah, now we get four months off for summer break!

They have a way better work schedule than me.  At most, they have to work 4 days a week.  Though sometimes they have to work 2 days in a row and sometimes weekends, so you know, I guess that kind of balances out.  But, they only have to work 48 clock minutes a day.  So maybe because time outs and commercials and close games make them work about three hours.  But guess what?  They get all kinds of breaks.  I wish I could call a time out everytime I got a little tired.  I wish my lunch lasted as long as their halftime did.  I wish there was entertainment for the crowd of people that watch me work everytime I went to my lunch so they would have something to do while waiting for me to get a report finished.  Oh and if I’m really not good at my job, I only get a seat on the bench where I get to watch other people work, and I still get paid lots of money? Sounds great to me.  Say me and my team are just really bad at what we do.  So we get even more time off? Sign me up for that job! That would be horrible to have to go on vacation in April instead of June.  Oh you mean if we are the best of the best we get a shiny trophy, a ring, a few thousand more dollars (I guess to water their money trees with?) and respect? Wow, that sounds like great incentive for playing 2 more months.  I wish they had that program for me at work.

Sometimes they have bad days.  Like seriously bad days.  They miss last second shots, they don’t get a foul call, they have to talk to the media, their seat on their private plane has a stitch loose, sometimes when they wake up on a flight they are responsible for a water bottle (what are they supposed to do with it?), sometimes they have to play a day game…the list goes on.  I never have to deal with stuff like that.  Just stupid stuff like bad knees, bad back, a sick child, a job that requires me to work 5 whole days, kids that like to fight, money problems, stupid stuff like that.

I asked for this to be a sweep. It took 5 games! You're not being very good listeners!

I asked for this to be a sweep. It took 5 games! You’re not being very good listeners!

They aren’t very good listeners. Everytime they are on TV, I tell them stuff like, “Get back on defense, Tony!” or “Stop dribbling through traffic, Manu!” and for some reason they can’t hear me through the television.  I assume they are just ignoring me, because if I can hear them, they should be able to hear me right?  Yet, somehow they ignore me about 50% of the time.  If I wanted those odds, I would ask my kids to do something.

I’m considered one of the lucky ones as far as NBA fans.  According to ESPN (which is never wrong) only 7 teams have won the NBA Championship in the last 30 years.  The Spurs have won 5 in the last 14 years.  Do you know what that means!? That means they have only won 35% of the titles in the last 14 years.  If it wasn’t for the super generous curve on the NBA Champ test they would be bigger failure than me in Sophomore Statistics.  And guess what I get to show for my 22 years of loyalty? I get to spend all kinds of money on T-shirts, hats, and all kinds of Championship gear.  Guess I AM a part owner of the Spurs.

 

ARRRRRRGGGGGHHHH

Bitter Champion

 

 

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39 thoughts on “Spurs NBA Champ Bitterness

  1. Pingback: In case missed it…because you were busy ruining your knees at your Father Daughter Dance | Ben's Bitter Blog

  2. I feel like there’s too much sports stuff going on right now: hockey, World Cup, basketball… I’m just going to keep ignoring everything like I always do when it comes to athletic competitions.

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  3. LOVED this.
    Mostly because of them never listening to you. I feel you there. I can’t tell you how often I throw my hands up (when watching my Cats) and shout, “WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!”
    And money trees, haha. Pretty much.

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    • People keep telling me that I shouldn’t shout at the screen, because they can’t hear me, but you know they can. They are just ignoring me.

      I think your cats are almost as good at ignoring people whenever they feel like it too.

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      • I just can’t help myself with the shouting sometimes. I’m usually pretty calm. At least in comparison to my mom, who at LEAST once a game shouts, “WHAT ARE THEY SHOOTING? FIFTEEN PERCENT?”
        Not kidding. Every time. Same percentage.
        Then, “Those boys are all over them!’
        The response is usually, “That’s the game,” or something similar.
        I do have my occasional outburst, but they’re usually more legitimate.

        Yes, my cats are pretty good at ignoring as well. I try to tell myself that they’re young and kids never listen to anyone ever.

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        • Let’s just say that I have cooled my temper about sports about a 1000 degrees since the Spurs won their first. I used to scream, yell, kick, pout, throw things, etc. I was basically like a 25 year old baby crying because someone took my favorite toy. Mostly because I got married. She told me to slow my roll, or I would be watching them in Best Buy. In fact, I’m pretty proud of how I handled last years Spurs Epic Meltdown. I gotta say it was a rough next day, knowing that everyone was trashing my team and feeling like everyone was staring at me, judging me. I could talk Spurs all day, so suffice it to say, I don’t get near as mad as I used to.
          I love that your mom yells at the screen. And that she makes the sarcastic comments. I wish I could see that.

          I’m okay with people loving their animals, but I get quite upset when I see these commercials for dog food and stuff where people get upset because certain ingredients aren’t in their dog food, or they start call their pets their children or they treat them or feed or spend more money on them than their kids. As awesome as they are, they aren’t humans and people need to treat them as such. (Sorry if this you. If so, just ignore my rant.)

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        • HAHA, watching them in Best Buy. Yeah, I’d imagine that would calm a person down pretty fast.
          You know I don’t follow professional basketball, so I have no idea what you’re talking about with the ‘Spurs Epic Meltdown’. You won’t ever have to deal with me trashing your team, even if I DID follow it. (Even if I did follow it and didn’t like your team. I don’t like people bringing down what other people enjoy.)
          My husband does that sometimes with his family because they’re all Ohio State fans, and he watches UK or whatever. He can do it, but not me. The most I’ll really do in that regard is wear a UK shirt to his family get-togethers. We both did that for Christmas one year. hehe

          Yes, my mom is pretty amusing sometimes.

          No, I don’t feed my dog food that costs more than the food I eat.
          I’m not gonna lie, I treat her like she’s part of my family. I love my dog more than I love most people. But I’ve always been pretty strict with her, so no, it’s not all like, ‘She can do no wrong and blah blah whatever.’ We worked our tails (haha) off training her to be a well-behaved dog.
          The only thing I can’t really train her out of is barking. She barks at planes at night. -_-

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        • I know you would never trash a team I liked. That is just the kind person you are. About the Epic Meltdown, they were up 3 games to 2 in the Finals last year against Miami and were about 5 seconds from winning the CHAMPIONSHIP and they let a rebound go and it got into the hands of Ray Allen who tied it up with a three with about 5 seconds to go. If he missed, we would have won. Miami went on to win the game in overtime and then Game 7 to win it all. We(I say we because as a part owner through buying their shirts) were literally 5 seconds from being champs and we lost it all. It was the most painful sports moment ever and I’ve had some bad ones. Anyways, they won this year, so that makes up for it.
          Me and my brothers (both of them) have had some pretty heated discussions about sports in the past, enough that our wives have had to seperate us. Not fist fights or anything, just good natured ribbing that they thought was out of control. But they just had to know that we grew up talking like that to each other, so for us it was fine. They just didn’t like it, so we were often banned from talking sports. Anyways, not to bore you anymore, I’m glad you get amused by your mom. Mine is pretty amusing too.

          Good for you for treating your pets right. It would be way bad if you neglected them and didn’t at least feed them well. And at least you are dedicated to training them. I admire that about people, at least. Just not for me, that’s all. We have neighbors that have dogs that bark at night and it is really annoying.

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        • Oh, that’s harsh, with the Spurs last year.
          I get the ‘we’ thing. I say that too with my Cats. 🙂
          But yeah, winning it all really does seem to make up for it.
          Now I’m sitting here thinking about how close we were this year. I say if we don’t win it this coming year, something is SERIOUSLY wrong. We only had two go to the draft.
          (Not trying to bore you either here!)

          LoL, why did the wives separate you? Are sports the only thing you all get like that over? You definitely weren’t boring me with that. Feel free to talk about that sort of stuff as much as you want. I like knowing more about you, which makes sense, being BF and all.

          Trust me, I know how annoying the barking at night is. I really don’t know what to do to get her to stop with that. I can’t make the planes stop flying. The most I can get her to do is put her tennis ball in her mouth and bark through that at them (definitely not as loud that way). It’s seriously one of only two ‘bad’ things she does. I’m not sure how to train her out of either. But she’s SERIOUSLY smart. (I’m not doing the ‘my kid is smarter than your kid thing,’ but most of the people who’ve seen the stuff I’ve/we’ve taught her, they think it’s a joke. And I’m proud of that!)
          You kind of have to be dedicated to training dogs. Most (a lot of) people let their little yip monsters get away with whatever, jumping, etc. But when you have a big dog, you can’t have them running over people.

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        • Yeah it was pretty brutal. I had pretty much counted them finished after last year. I really did think that Ginobili would retire, maybe Duncan and the rest would be too destroyed by the end of the Finals to come back from it. I really had no idea they had it in them to come back stronger than ever. I should have never underestimated them. And it is amazing how the same thing happened to Miami by the Spurs (soundly beat them) and how Miami responded just how I thought the Spurs would last year. Lebron left, Wade got old like Ginobili and Bosh took max money just to stay. The Spurs just showed the rest of the league how classy they really are. As far as decisions go, following them is one of the best decisions I’ve ever made(sad huh?) I could talk all day Spurs, but I don’t want to bore you any more.
          Yeah Kentucky was close this year. They are the type of team that will always be there, but having only three go to the draft will definitely help. Finally having some super talented sophomores will help. I now finally have a team to root for in college.
          As far as why our wives would separated us, they just don’t get how our family was. We were the loud, always joking around, always busting on each other family. It was just how we did things and they aren’t used to it. So when we would argue with each other about sports it was just us being brothers, but they didn’t like it. So we just chilled. So how many brothers and sisters do you have? Was your dynamic like ours or much more chill? By the way, I have 2 brothers and 2 sisters. Joi is the oldest, then me, then Paul just a year and a half younger, the Meredith a year and a half younger then him, then the youngest Tom. Joi and Paul are in Utah, Mere is in Nevada, moving to Boise soon and Tom is in DC getting his masters. Joi is a part time lawyer, part time teacher, Paul is a CFO for a small company and Mere is a stay at home mother(3 kids).
          I guess they could have the planes stop flying around at night. Jerks. Can’t they tell the dog is just trying to sleep? I respect you for doing your best with your fluffy friends. I don’t know if I could deal with them, but can respect you for loving them. Besides, my daughter is scared to death of dogs, especially small ones. I can’t choose pets over my girl. She will win that battle every time.

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        • LoL, you feel free to talk about your Spurs as much as you want. But the thing is that I don’t know the players. (I only know who a few NBA players are, but not even what teams they play for.) I also don’t know squat about the way it works, or any of the general going-ons. (Basically I’m saying that you SORT OF lost me there.)
          As for it being one of your best decisions. I don’t think that’s sad. You decided to follow something that entertains and makes you happy. I don’t think that’s sad.
          I think we only had two go to the draft this year. Just Randall and Young. I’m pretty sure everyone else stayed. And the sophomores will definitely help. It really sucks losing all your good players to the draft after their first year, but I totally understand why they do it. I’m just glad some of them decided to stay.

          LoL about the planes. I mean . . . who flies planes at night? Don’t they know my dog isn’t okay with that?

          I really don’t like small dogs . . .

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        • I know you don’t know the players and so forth, so I’m going to send you the Spurs championship DVD so you can watch and study all the players and know everything about them by opening day. You at least know that they have a female assistant coach because of what I was telling you yesterday. Just kidding, you don’t have time for all that. But I at least expect you to cheer for them if you happen to be scanning your TV and see them on TV, if only for that brief second. I also expect you to at least go get some sort of spurs gear. HAHA.
          Well, your Kentucky team should be good again this year, as I’m sure you went out and got the best Freshman to go with the guys returning. I expect them to win the whole thing, so we can both be championship fans.

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        • LoL, that’s so funny about sending me the Spurs DVD. I still have some UK games where they were playing national teams a few weeks ago that I haven’t gotten around to watching yet. They’re burning a hole in my DVR.

          I’ll definitely cheer the Spurs on for you.
          Yeah, then I’ll be wearing the Spurs gear and someone will be like, “Oh, what did you think about so-and-so in the game the other day?”
          Then I’d be like, “Erm . . . I don’t watch Spurs games.”
          Then I’d get the ‘girls can’t like sports’ look. :/

          What I saw of them playing (UK) with the new team? YEAH. They’re going to be good this year.

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