You didn't think this had anything to do with puppies did you? It was a ploy like a bad sports or newspaper headline to attract readership. But why would I ever want to attract you here? It just makes more work for me and work is the last thing I want to do on a Monday … Continue reading Not Wanted: Lost Puppy Blog
Get Hooked on Friday Giftures
You know how when you first start reading this blog, you can't turn away because it is such a train wreck that you can't stop reading it? And then you wait for the next one in the next hour and it just never comes and you can't concentrate on anything else? I'm sorry to tell you, that you … Continue reading Get Hooked on Friday Giftures
How to Stage a Bittervention
The holidays are a hotbed of people being excited, happy to see each other, warm fires, fun chats with family and friends. The cold, hard reality is that you will be surround by insanely happy people. Don't worry, I know how hard this can be. Happy people are a really buzzkill to the gloomy, sad, … Continue reading How to Stage a Bittervention
The Bitter Scents of the Season
It's finally December, which as you know, means that it is finally time for awesome characters to come out of the woodwork, like Scrooge and the Grinch stealing Christmas and all kinds of evil villains in movies, like Boss who makes you stay late on Christmas Eve and Boyfriend who is a little too into … Continue reading The Bitter Scents of the Season
Black Friday Giftures
It's Black Friday and nothing says Black Friday like greed. Black hearted rage, mixed with savings only 6 people will actually ever get, combined with angry, crazy people in a race for pole position for a chance at a ticket that may or may not get you into the room of a store … Continue reading Black Friday Giftures
Lost in The Future – Disney Studios Edition
There's been all kinds of things written about the future. I don't know if you know or care, but when Back to the Future came out in 1985, 30 years in the future was 2015. Back to Future got some of those things right and some way off. No the Cubs still haven't won a … Continue reading Lost in The Future – Disney Studios Edition
Make a walk for the border of Friday Giftures
You know, there are all kinds of people running around these days. The 5K's are almost unlimited in scope from tough mudder's to color runs, to neon runs to running in your undies to the zombie runs to even Krispy Kreme runs. Then there are night runs, early morning runs, runs to the grossery store, … Continue reading Make a walk for the border of Friday Giftures
Welcome to Bitter Convention (BitterCon) 2014
Now that Halloween is over, winter is chilling people to the bone, Christmas decorations are going up way too early, and the malls are being filled bitter people ready to fight for super cheap crap that nobody wants for a gift, I'm sensing a growing amount of bitter people of the world. It occurs … Continue reading Welcome to Bitter Convention (BitterCon) 2014
Bitter Ben’s Book’s for Bitter Beginners
I work with a bunch of babies all day. Children. Whiny Brats. They cry all day, and need to be fed and given attention all the time. Any time they need something they ring and I'm supposed to answer. This makes me fully qualified to write bitter things about them. Along with being a bunch … Continue reading Bitter Ben’s Book’s for Bitter Beginners
Lost in Space…Universal Studios Space Edition
Some people think space is the final frontier, I say that is hooey. I've been there and there wasn't much to discover. There was some stars and some planets and some rocks and some moons and some suns and some weird looking people. Not so much weird green people with almond shaped eyes, but more … Continue reading Lost in Space…Universal Studios Space Edition
I literally can’t even…do Bitter Friday Giftures
Apparently there is a movement among the young people of the world, particularly the high school aged ones that are having a hard time comprehending how they can even... Not sure what they can't even...Is it that they have to walk uphill both ways to school? Or is that they have to get up at … Continue reading I literally can’t even…do Bitter Friday Giftures
All in one Bitterness Device
I've noticed lately that I'm not quite reaching all the people that I want to. I don't know if Bitterness is dying just as much as leaves on all the trees around here, but it seems like this time of year, should bring bitterness about, not cause it to go into hibernation. I looked … Continue reading All in one Bitterness Device
Surefire ways to get people to annoy you
I love advice. I can't wait to hear it, swish it around like a fine glass of water, let it sink deep down into my soul, allow it to be knocked around inside my head, then ignore it completely. So please give it to me. I want all the advices. Let me know all about … Continue reading Surefire ways to get people to annoy you
Lost in the Woods and other Bitter Posts: The Epcot Version
The forest is a place full of mystery, wonder and trees. Lots and lots of trees. Forests would be awesome if it wasn't for all the trees. If you haven't noticed, especially at this time of year, trees are kind of jerks. They litter constantly, they are always swaying and scratching and making spooky noises … Continue reading Lost in the Woods and other Bitter Posts: The Epcot Version
Coming up Short Friday Giftures
Though I am tall(er than most ants), this week was short, because I took Monday and Tuesday off not only from work but also from blogging. The thing about short weeks is that they make the days you actually work last even longer. Every hour is so magnified that each second lasts an hour, every hour lasts a day … Continue reading Coming up Short Friday Giftures
The Bitter Beard Battle of Movember
I have always had an issue with authority. I don't like people telling me what to do. I know, shocker right? As the last Tootsie roll fell from the hands of a reluctant, road weary candy shiller into the bucket of my children's overflowing Halloween bucket, dudes all around nation grabbed their razor's or electronic shavers and then … Continue reading The Bitter Beard Battle of Movember
Lost causes and Lost Bitter Posts Disney Chronicles Part 2
When I was 5 or so, my younger brother and I had just got some new pajamas. Since I was the older and more bitter brother, of course, I got Superman and he got Batman pajamas. Since I was imbued with all the superpowers of Superman, I didn't need my parents help for anything, so … Continue reading Lost causes and Lost Bitter Posts Disney Chronicles Part 2
Funny Blog Friday and Halloween Bitter Giftures
When I first moved to Seattle, my brother in law(and his family) had just moved here too. When he moved to another house, he forgot his valued high school sweatshirt. So one day, out of the kindness of our hearts (by ours I mean not mine) we brought it back to him. He said he … Continue reading Funny Blog Friday and Halloween Bitter Giftures
Bitter Funny Blog Friday and Bitter Mischief Day
Hey Weirdos, this isn't so much a post as just a reminder. I would have just posted this on Facebook and Twitter, but I don't have any real life friends so I'm posting it here. Remember that Funny Blog Friday(#FBF) is tomorrow. You can still sign up for my Epic Failure Contest by following me on Twitter or … Continue reading Bitter Funny Blog Friday and Bitter Mischief Day
The Bitter Battle for Control (and how everything can be a weapon)
I'm a longtime fan of action movies. Some people like action movies for the explosions or the tension, or the unbelievability of it all. While those are all good things, especially the unbelievability of them, it's the individual fight scenes between two fairly even opponents that fascinates me. That is what most action movies seem to … Continue reading The Bitter Battle for Control (and how everything can be a weapon)
Ben's Bitter Blog 