I learned a few things on my vacation. "The more the merrier" is totally untrue, you can never have too much pizza (actually wait, already knew that) and lines are the most destructive thing on the planet. Let me state that again very clearly. Lines are the most destructive thing on the planet. DO NOT … Continue reading The End of the Lines
Laziness
The Bitter Side of…the Sun
One night at dinner in one of the 5 star Disney cruise restaurants, I was eating one of my two entrees that night, and my son and I spent the good part of a dinner talking about being invincible and what we would do if we were so. Of course we would sword fight, punch … Continue reading The Bitter Side of…the Sun
Thanks a lot Dad…
Thanks a lot dad. Thanks for teaching me your favorite saying, "Life isn't fair." Why can't your favorite saying be, "Everytime you try to win the lottery, you will win the lottery!" Thanks a lot dad. Thank you so much for teaching me about responsibility. Why couldn't you teach me about laziness? I had to … Continue reading Thanks a lot Dad…
What it feels like to come home from Vacation Friday Giftures
I'm back, Bitters, and more bitter than ever. Vacation has a way of centering my bitterness and helping me focus even more on it, since I'm not really busy doing work. Eventually, despite many of your desperate inner pleas for me to never come back and perpetually keep my bitterness to myself, all things come … Continue reading What it feels like to come home from Vacation Friday Giftures
Bitter Guest Post – Jaclyn from Snarky Brunette – Summer Time Isn’t Happy, It’s Purely Bitter
Last up, but certainly not the least bitter before my inevitable return is Jaclyn from The Snarky Brunette. She has been bitter from the beginning and is very straight forward on her bitter views. She also does some really bitter YouTube videos and parodies. You may have seen her on Long Awkward Pause as their … Continue reading Bitter Guest Post – Jaclyn from Snarky Brunette – Summer Time Isn’t Happy, It’s Purely Bitter
Bitter Guest Post – Aurora from Authentically Aurora – “Government Bittercrats”
Today, stepping up to the plate and pinch hitting in my absence is Aurora, of Authentically Aurora, and quite frankly in this guest post she hits a Bitter grand slam. It helps that the subject is the Bittercrats in the government, but she nails it. I should mention that she actually wrote this post LINK HERE on her … Continue reading Bitter Guest Post – Aurora from Authentically Aurora – “Government Bittercrats”
Bitter Guest Post – Alex from Only Bad Chi “Rule Breaking Bitterness”
Next up in the Bitter-Ben-is-finally-out-of-our-lives-for-a-little-bit tour, is Alex from Only Bad Chi. We have pretty much figured out that we are soul twins, because she is as bitter as I am. She blogs about many things that irritate her like men, guys, males, and people getting in the way of her food. She's agreed … Continue reading Bitter Guest Post – Alex from Only Bad Chi “Rule Breaking Bitterness”
Bitter Guest Post – Ben from Ben’s Bitter Blog – “Out to Sea Giftures”
Today's guest poster will be me. Bitter Ben is a blogger...blah blah...Clearly, I either have delegation issues, or someone didn't offer to do the Friday Giftures, both of which make me bitter. What you should know is that I have just been through a torturous week of eating tons of free food, getting sick from … Continue reading Bitter Guest Post – Ben from Ben’s Bitter Blog – “Out to Sea Giftures”
Bitter Guest Post – Mindy from Yellow Fever – “Started From The Bottom”
Today's substantial upgrade at substitute blogging is Mindy from Yellow Fever, a guest poster who totally volunteered when I coerced her into doing a post for me about a month or so ago. When I first started reading her blog, I knew she was a bitter blogger cut out of the same cloth as me. … Continue reading Bitter Guest Post – Mindy from Yellow Fever – “Started From The Bottom”
Bitter Guest Post – Annie from Under and Over and Around and Through – “Bitter Grocery Store Experience”
Today's Bitter Ben substitute teacher is actually a substitute teacher, Annie Emmy Evans from Under and Over and Around and Through. No, she's not going to just put on video on and let you slide through the day. You are actually going to have to pay attention, because she has words of bitterness for you. … Continue reading Bitter Guest Post – Annie from Under and Over and Around and Through – “Bitter Grocery Store Experience”
Bitter Guest Post – Matti of Schnitzel Adventures – “The Bitterness of Being a Woman”
First up on the Bitter-Ben-is-on-vacation-and-doesn't-want-to-do-anything-on-it-so-he's-having-guest-posters-do-all-his-work-tour is Matti from Schnitzel Adventures. Her area of expertise in bitterness is being a German living in America. We both share a disdain for the very few holidays in America, and disdain for Grumpy Cat, who is making tons of money being bitter while we are much bitterer and much … Continue reading Bitter Guest Post – Matti of Schnitzel Adventures – “The Bitterness of Being a Woman”
I’m blogging to you from the Bitter Past
Hello Bitter Blog Followers. It is I, Bitter Ben, and I come to you from the Past, because when you read this, I will be soaking in the darkness and bitterness of the moonlight on a cruise ship. I am obviously complaining to some poor, sad ship worker about something bitter or another and trying … Continue reading I’m blogging to you from the Bitter Past
Murphy’s Law Friday Giftures
Murphy's law is the only law I follow all the time. For instance, I'm always on time or early to everything, which for the most part is a meaningless skill. But the one time I need to be early, something will always happen to me that causes lateness. A flat tire, run out of gas, … Continue reading Murphy’s Law Friday Giftures
Almost Bitterly Famous
I've had my brushes with fame in the past. One time when I was a stupid kid, in about 4th grade, I was outside at recess in the cold South Dakota air, running and sliding on the massive skating rink that was out recess area. I slid once and hurt my arm. Nothing big, until … Continue reading Almost Bitterly Famous
The Great American Indoors
Raise your hand if you've been seeing the previews for the upcoming comedy disaster movie staring the Rock and some other people, and based on Grand Theft Auto, San Andreas? OH, you means its already out? Well, little known fact. I grew up in California, in Pasadena, not far from the Rose Parade and was … Continue reading The Great American Indoors
Bitter Observation Day
I was left in charge of looking after the kids for several hours, so the first thing I did was take a nap for a few hours. That way I could keep an even sharper eye on them when I woke up. When I did wake up, I made sure that I got some fresh … Continue reading Bitter Observation Day
Suns out, Guns out
The weather in Seattle is getting warmer, which means people are taking advantage of being outside like they should, because in another day or two, it could be another one of those days. The ones that happen ALL the time in Seattle. 50-60, cloudy, a little windy, perhaps a little wet and discombobulating enough that it could … Continue reading Suns out, Guns out
I’m here to ruin your day
You know how optimists (or optometrists I can never tell the difference) always try to find the one little positive thing in even the darkest moments of your life? Well, I'm here to flip the script on that, and find the bitterest things in even your shiniest moments. I'm here to put some gloom … Continue reading I’m here to ruin your day
Ways to Express Bitterness without Talking
Headaches. A lot of things give me these. The flu, bad comedy, the Bachelorette, the Bachelor, grammar, too much information, too many people, doing too much work, gardening, going outside, phones, world peace, close basketball games, the internet not working, Internet Explorer, the future, the past, and the present. Those are all things that make … Continue reading Ways to Express Bitterness without Talking
Bitter Storage Unit
Storage units are for when you have so much junk, you just can't take having any more, so you rent a garage door, a lock and a security gate watched by someone 24/7 for $100 a month. As you probably know, I have a lot of junk, but I don't like paying money to store … Continue reading Bitter Storage Unit
Ben's Bitter Blog 