Thanks a lot dad. Thanks for teaching me your favorite saying, “Life isn’t fair.” Why can’t your favorite saying be, “Everytime you try to win the lottery, you will win the lottery!”
Thanks a lot dad. Thank you so much for teaching me about responsibility. Why couldn’t you teach me about laziness? I had to work very hard at developing that skill.
Thanks a lot dad. Thank you so much teaching me to be good with my money. Learning to go on a Vegas trip to blow all my money, buying a bunch of fireworks that would have been amazing, or finding some multi-level get rich scheme to try every week was all my doing. Why couldn’t you support my dreams!
Thanks a lot dad. Thank you so much for teaching me to wake up early and go to bed early. Luckily, I learned how to sleep in, sleep on the couch, sleep in class and sleep through work. I do wake up for special things like video games and Netflix though.
Thanks a lot dad. Thank you so much for not being Dr. Evil, or Darth Vader, or Clark Griswold. How am I supposed to be in movies when you aren’t using me for your nefarious purposes?
Thanks a lot dad. Thanks for teaching me that education matters. I got so dependent on it, that I went to school for like 17 years. It’s like I got addicted and couldn’t stop. I mean I spent at least 6 years in elementary school, 3 years in junior high, 3 years in high school, and 5 years in college. Next thing you know, I’m gonna want to become a master.
Thanks a lot dad. Thanks for teaching me about dad jokes. The last two days I’ve been telling my daughter about my job. And about the fact that it is soda pressing.
Most of all, thanks a lot dad. Thanks a lot for continuing to be a dad to me even after I am a grown up. Like I need your help anymore. I’ve got kids to raise and I don’t need an example of how to be a dad to them. I’ve got it all figured dang you kids, get to your room for not cleaning up after me! out, see?
So yeah. I’ve got it.
Well, gotta go. The kids should be busy celebrating me and my bitterness soon.
Bitter Who’s you daddy? Ben