The Summer of Bitter Ben Giftures

I’m getting full pay for three days to do nothing. I’m gonna do something with these three days. I’m gonna read a magazine from beginning to end in that order.  I’m gonna learn Bolf.  Bitter golf.  Golf with Bitterness. This is gonna be my time. Time to taste the bitter fruits and let the juices drip down my chin.  I proclaim this the Independence Day of Bitter Ben!

I declare my Independence from…

Having to stand.

…having to stand.

I declare this glasses Independence from…

daily-morning-awesomeness-40-photos-382

…from this doorway.

 

I declare this girls heart’s Independence from…

from heart.

…from her chest.

I declare my Independence from…

sdfd

…riding horses forward like everyone else.

I declare my Independence from…

sdkflj

…strutting like a normal soldier in a video game.

I declare my Independence from…

....

….having to be in the right place at the right time.

I declare my Independence from…

doing any work.

…having to exert myself at all.

I declare my Independence from…

daily_gifdump_774_14

…having to celebrate with that jerk.

I declare my Independence from…

sdfdf

…the escalator.

I declare this confetti’s Independence from…

...

…this bottle where it is free to hit anyone in the face.

I declare my Independence from…

...from this bull crap.

…taking any bull crap from you.

I declare my Independence from…

...

…having to do any work today.

I also declare my independence from doing anything else today, so bitter day to you.

ARRRGGGHHHHH

Bitter Independence Ben

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25 thoughts on “The Summer of Bitter Ben Giftures

  1. Well, heck, don’t we all get paid for doing nothing several days in a row? We might be trying to get things done, and they don’t happen because it’s impossible to do things anymore, but the result is the same, only with more tension.

    Like

  2. Ever since that episode of Seinfeld, I’ve always called ‘disc golfing’ Frolf, and someone always corrects me. “Frolf,” I say, “Frisbee golf.” The reply: “No, we don’t use Frisbees. We use discs. It’s called disc golf.”
    I am bitter about this.

    Like

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