Bitter Guest Post – Mindy from Yellow Fever – “Started From The Bottom”

 

This is Mindy, on one of her less than bitter days. Don't mess with her on her bitter days.

This is Mindy. Not bitter now, but ask her one more question…

Today’s substantial upgrade at substitute blogging is Mindy from Yellow Fever, a guest poster who totally volunteered when I coerced her into doing a post for me about a month or so ago.  When I first started reading her blog, I knew she was a bitter blogger cut out of the same cloth as me.  Similar to this guest post, her blog tells all kinds of stories about how rude guys can be when trying to get a date with her.   Remember to be nice to Mindy because as a former librarian, she will tell you to shhhhh. Pay her a visit at Yellow Fever.

 

“Started from the bottom, now we’re here”

Stop. Don’t even try and tell me you haven’t heard those lyrics before because everyone knows Drake. Drake has to be one of the most popular artists of this decade, and if you haven’t heard of him… you’re probably lying. You know who else is lying?

Drake. He didn’t start from the bottom. No, he had an above ground pool growing up and was on a little Canadian show called “Degrassi: The next generation” maybe you’ve heard of it?

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Now, I know most people can see past the lies, and are on the D(rake) Train, and you know what? I USED TO BE ON THAT TRAIN! So what happened to make me fall off the bandwagon? What made me react to any Drake song the way he reacted to being kissed by Madonna at Coachella?

drakes-reaction-to-madonnas-coachella-kiss-is-amazing

Oh, I’ll tell you what happened… let’s roll back six years ago to my freshman year of college.

2015

2014

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2011

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2009

It was my first year of college, and I was working at a bar. Wow, big things were in store for this 18-year old.

Now, working at a bar definitely upped my cool factor with the other people who lived in my building/floor, but that’s not the reason I decided to work there. I had a scholarship, which paid my tuition for four years (holla!), and I wasn’t looking to screw that up, so I decided that I wanted to have a good time, but not party and lose my scholarship. I was such a good student my first semester.

Evil-Smile-Glee

So I worked at this bar called “Cy’s Roost,” but I only stayed there a semester because my boss was the kind of person you weren’t supposed to be alone with, and because of stories like the one I’m about to share with you.

I went in on a Friday night, around 9:00 p.m. and had to work the highly respected beer cart. I actually didn’t mind working the beer cart because that meant I didn’t have to go up to random people and ask if they wanted any more to drink. Although, it also meant I couldn’t leave, especially if I was stuck in an awkward situation…

So it was fairly early into my shift, and Steven Anthony Lawrence’s (A.K.A. BEANS) doppleganger came up to me to buy a $3 tall boy. He made some small talk and asked how my night was going. I said it was pretty quiet so far, which led him to continue to ask more questions. Thank goodness he picked up on my subtle hints, which indicated I wanted to him to continue to sweep me off my feet. He told me he was in a band, and I should come see his band some time.

I said cool, but ignored his invitation. I asked him what he did in his band because as I previously stated, I was being swept off my feet and it seemed polite to ask. OF COURSE this guy was the lead singer, and they did some of their own stuff, as well as covers of some other songs. He asked me what some of my favorite bands and songs were, but unfortunately I wasn’t able to answer because another customer came up behind him. Thankfully, I had put out enough clues of interest in this guy that he told me, “I’ll be back, cutie!”

Me too, Jason.  Me too.

Me too, Jason. Me too.

Y’all, this man did not disappoint. He did came back, and he was quickly becoming drunker, which makes sense because he was at a bar. He came back and continued to brag about his band, and I continued to feign enthusiasm. Apparently this guy had never talked to a girl at a bar before because he believed that I was hanging off of his every word, despite the fact that I was looking around in search of help the whole time. Sometimes, a girl will have a sparkle in her eye when she’s talking to someone she’s interested in, the only things in my eyes were pleas for help.

Luckily, I was saved once again by another flurry of customers and Beans 2 walked away as he assured me he would be back. YES. Now, I know you’re probably thinking, wasn’t this story supposed to be about Drake? Or maybe even, “Oh, yeah! Drake, I forgot!” Well, don’t worry, we’re almost there, or as Drake would say, “Started from the bottom now we’re *almost* here.”

So a little while later, the man of my dreams came back to me, as “Best I Ever Had” by Drake was playing. You bet your sweet behind I remember which song was playing. You always remember the song playing the moment you first fall in love with someone… or the moment someone completely creeps you out. I’ll let you guess which applies here.

This guy came up behind me and started drunkenly serenading me with “Best I Ever Had” by Drake. I was so grossed out because not only was he using this song I liked against me, but I could feel his hot breath on my ear, and smell the beer on his breath. It was all of my nightmares rolled into one. I was scared stiff, I couldn’t move and I had no idea what to do.

This will always be me.

This will always be me.

Thankfully, I managed to make eye contact with one of the bouncers, who rushed over and told the guy he needed to back away from me. The man of my dreams told the bouncer that we were just trying to have a good time, as I shook my head at the bouncer. The bouncer decided that the guy had had enough to drink and that it was time for him to leave. After the guy was escorted out, I thanked the bouncer, and said the guy was being kind of creepy all night…

But that wasn’t the end of it for me and Beans 2. As the other workers and I were closing the bar down, this wonderful man was swaying outside the window trying to get my attention. He kept gesturing for me to come outside and go somewhere with him. Wow, could this really be our first date? I shook my head no, and continued cleaning. I let the bouncer know the guy was still outside, and he went out there to tell the guy to leave. Eventually he did leave, but I never did get back on the D(rake) Train because it always brings back memories of what could have been.

Mindy from Yellow Fever

Follow her blog at Yellow Fever

Her Twitter at Mindy Dickerson

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8 thoughts on “Bitter Guest Post – Mindy from Yellow Fever – “Started From The Bottom”

  1. Ben, I have a sneaking suspicion that you are going to be mighty bitter about the fact that you have chose some EXCELLENT ladies to step in and blog for you while you are away and bitterly vacationing! I hope you are bitterly enjoying your r & r with the fam!

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