Ever since I was pretty young, I've been a really small circle of bitter friends kind of guy. As previously noted on this blog, I'm a claustraphobic and I probably didn't mention, I have social anxiety too. You probably don't have to be Einstein to figure that out. Basically parties are my worst nightmare. They … Continue reading Bitter Friend Finder
holidays
Freezing Bitterness
Last night I was a little miffed. This is my favorite time of year. Not because of the warmer, longer days, or because there are more activities going on outside. I mean, we have a freaking mosquito infestation right outside our door, so the minute we leave our house, we have to sprint outside to … Continue reading Freezing Bitterness
Having your momma on the show
Can I tell you the difference between how men bond and how women bond? At least this is my perspective. So women are usually able to go to a place and sit down for lunch and chat, or sit down in their living room and chat. They might nibble on some finger food, or sip … Continue reading Having your momma on the show
Spider Sat down beside him Bitter Friday Giftures
I don't know if it is because I'm the oldest male in the house, or because my fears are about more about failure and tight spaces, but I've always been the designated spider killer. Last night I was wrestling with the boy (and losing) until he saw the tiniest of spiders on his wall. … Continue reading Spider Sat down beside him Bitter Friday Giftures
Variety Is the Spice of Life
One of my favorite movies of all time is Scott Pilgrim. If you don't know it, that's okay. I kind of like to keep it to myself. Anyways, one of the parts that is funniest to me is when Scott goes to this new girl's house and she asks him if he wants tea. He … Continue reading Variety Is the Spice of Life
Skin Eraser
I like to talk about this a lot, because it makes me so bitter. When I was a kid, I was skinny as a rail. I know because I used to have a bed that had a rail, and I would sit in front of the mirror and compare myself to it. Just kidding. I … Continue reading Skin Eraser
All Roads Lead to Bitter Friday Giftures
We are still putting the closing touches on our move. Our kids had their last day, so of course, they got kid parties to go to. So between my wife and I we made like 5 trips back and forth between our new place and the old one, the last one to pick up … Continue reading All Roads Lead to Bitter Friday Giftures
It’s Finally Q&A Time
You bitterlings finally came up with some questions for me to answer. Not very good ones mind you, but that's okay, because I don't have very good answers. From Does It Even Matter? Q’s: Were you born bitter or did that develop over time? Bitterness was something I was born with. I spend 9 months … Continue reading It’s Finally Q&A Time
Music on Repeat
Did everyone have as bitter of a weekend as I did? I mean seriously, we got the same NBA Finals as we have the last four years? The weather was fairly lackluster and haven't blogged since last Friday, so it seems like it has been an eternity since I've written a terrible blog post. Though … Continue reading Music on Repeat
We interrupt your regularly scheduled blogram…
...to bring your this message from the Emergency Bittercast System. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pizvdm_DbFY Bitter Ben was going to write another terrible bitter blog post today, but he is unavailable today, because it is Memorial Day and he is asleep right now. Because he is sleeping right now, I am going to take over the blog to … Continue reading We interrupt your regularly scheduled blogram…
The Devil’s Haircut Bitter Friday Giftures
I have almost no hair. I've never really had much and honestly I've never even wanted long hair, even back in the 80's when lots of dudes did. I'm not much of a fan of hair because it grosses me out when it gets in my mouth or near my face. Anyways, the haircut … Continue reading The Devil’s Haircut Bitter Friday Giftures
Bitter Germaphobes
Many years ago, when I first moved to Seattle, I didn't have a job, so I took little side jobs, and this family that lived near us with six kids was going on a trip to Europe. They were looking for a babysitter and unfortunately, I was available. My wife accepted the job for me, … Continue reading Bitter Germaphobes
Bitter Auto Sarcastic Answerer
My life gets really hectic sometimes. I have all kinds of people to ignore, situations that take time to avoid, and work that needs to be done that I need to find excuses for not doing. It is a hectic life and one that doesn't allow a lot of time for ambition. It's not easy … Continue reading Bitter Auto Sarcastic Answerer
Maniac Monday – How did I survive?
I was at my sister's house for dinner the other day. My wife was out of town and I was trying to single parent for the week. I made the easy stuff, like Mac N Cheese and the Chicken Alfredo from Costco. So, I decided to allow my sister to have us over for dinner, … Continue reading Maniac Monday – How did I survive?
Yanny vs. Laurel Friday Giftures
Oh my gosh, seriously. An audio file is taking over the internet, going viral. An audio file. The last time an audio file was popular when back in the 1990's when computers were first using them. Last night my sister and I were educating my kids about VCR's, the internet not existing when we … Continue reading Yanny vs. Laurel Friday Giftures
Content Is King
There has been a lot of talk lately about this royal wedding. I don't know if it is a big deal because the girl from Suits and Deal or No Deal gets to be a princess, or because Harry is finally settling down, but it all seems like a lot of talk for a whole … Continue reading Content Is King
Transform and Roll Out
I was a child of the 80's. Unlike most children of the 80's, I thought that decade sucked. There were a few good things about it. There was Back to the Future, and Ferris Bueller's Day Off and Run DMC, but for the most part, I didn't participate in most of the crappy movies, TV … Continue reading Transform and Roll Out
Maniac Monday – I bumped my head on the Fridge
Even though I am pretty clumsy, I have never broken a bone. (Not that I haven't tried.) When I was in fourth grade, I was at recess and was playing this game called "Run and slip on the ice". (I lived in South Dakota, where ice slipping is considered a sport.) and fell and hurt … Continue reading Maniac Monday – I bumped my head on the Fridge
Borientation Bitter Friday Giftures
For all you The Office fan's out there, the borientation is what Micheal Scott calls the orientation that Toby wants Micheal to give when he welcomes the new members of the Stamford branch. Of course, Micheal always has different ideas, more creative ideas, just like most of us creative people. He decides to make … Continue reading Borientation Bitter Friday Giftures
Bitter Part Extensions
I've often talked about my desire to someday become a cyborg. Seriously, who wouldn't want to replace their creaky knees for something metal and mechanical that would only break down if you don't oil it enough. Replace this ailing shoulder with some hardcore vibrainium that is as hard as Captain America's sheild? Sounds good … Continue reading Bitter Part Extensions
Ben's Bitter Blog 