One of my favorite movies of all time is Scott Pilgrim. If you don’t know it, that’s okay. I kind of like to keep it to myself. Anyways, one of the parts that is funniest to me is when Scott goes to this new girl’s house and she asks him if he wants tea. He says, what kind do you have, and she lists like 20 different kinds of tea.
I don’t drink tea, so it is absolutely ridiculous that there are that many kinds. Of course, that applies to all kinds of food. Just off the top of my head there are like 15 types of Pringles and the amount of cheese varieties are off the charts. Has anyone ever been to Cheescake Factory? They have like 800 menu items.
As awesome as some people think variety is cool, it kind of isn’t. They say variety is the spice of life, but I don’t really like spices that much. A little salt and pepper here and there is nice, but I’m kind of an eat the same thing a lot. I know it isn’t always new and exciting, but every once in a while I try new foods and they give me a headache, nausea and well to put it not so delicately, more time with the porcelain.
Yes, I go to new places once in a while, but in the end, after all that newness, I always come home to my favorite place, the couch. Anyone ever have a baby? As awesome as it is to enjoy their new fat little faces, you and your spouse and your baby aren’t in the best of moods because your rountine is messed the heck up. Isn’t it just so much better when you get your baby in a ROUTINE? And you get your regular 5-8 hours of sleep. Tell me variety of sleeping hours are better than a routine hour of sleep.
Imagine having to move to a new place every year. Hey kids, guess what? You get to go to a new school this year! Don’t get mad at us though! Variety is the spice of life! I imagine they would think that too. As in they would be as hot as a ghost pepper at me if I kept doing that to them.
Can you imagine me changing this blog from bitter to sweet, to salty to bland, to funny and then back to just cat memes? It would just be so confusing. You know what you are going to get when you come here. You know it won’t be some exciting, well written masterpiece. Just the plain old hot garbage you have come to expect. Variety might be the spice of life, but routine is the actual meal you need to survive.
What are your feelings about variety? Really that necessary? Just a way to sell vacations to Hawaii? Just looks good on billboard?
Bitter Variety Adverse Ben