You would probably never guess this, but Utah has one of the worst air quality areas in the country. It’s this weird weather phenomenon called the inversion that makes it that way.
Then, in the late summer, because it is so hot, we get these massive forest fires. This year, not so much. This year, we were lucky enough to get our bad air from out of state. Colorado, Nevada and California and sending us their forest fire smoke. You know, because sharing is caring right? Maybe we need to reconsider the sharing is caring thing after this year. No one likes bad air, smoke, or the Coronavirus, so let’s just stop sharing, shall we?
As insane as this is to say, I’m glad for the bad air quality news, because Corona has kind of been an attention hog this year, and I think it is finally someone else’s turn to get the spotlight, youknowwhatImsaying? I think Corona has been on the stage a little too long and it’s time to let the co-stars of bad news get to chew the scenery a little. Anyways, on to the Bitter Friday Giftures for a short time in the spotlight.
I get it…

…everyone likes to get attention in some way.
Some like my brother…

…getting in your face about it.
Others like to whine…

…and nag to get it.
Some like to pretend to do things…

…just to get it.
Some like to make fools…

…of themselves.
Or they like to…

…tell funny jokes.
Some like to get attention…

…through their writing.
Some like to get attention….

…by working hard and getting awards for their work.
Some get attention…

…from talking too much.
Some do it by…

…trying to be different.
Forest fires…

…get attention by going to the extremes.
But the worst possible way to get attention…
…is to go viral. So, my suggestion is this. Stop all you little techniques to get my attention, because I am trying to develop an attention repellent to keep all you attention seekers away, so I can go back to my troglodyte lifestyle. We only have a limited amount of attention currency and your kind is no good here.
ARRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH
Bitter Attention Deflecting Ben
Avert your eyes!
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HEY! We get our fires from the West too! Right now we’re fighting the second worst fires in Colorado history. It’s annoying af because SOME of us have asthma and it affects our breathing when we go outside. Today we can’t even see the mountains, it’s totally hidden by all the smoke and I only live 25 minutes away from the mountains.
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I know, we are blaming you for all the smoke we get. Thanks a lot. Stop starting fires!
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Don’t blame us! Lol. Blame Thor. One of the fires was started by lightning!
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Ah, I see. The God of Thunder has caused a lot of damage throughout the universe, so I’m guessing this little fire he caused barely registers.
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*invisibility cloak*
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I would very much like one of those.
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*Tiptoeing out of the blog quietly*
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Look at you tiptoeing out of the blog quietly so as to get some attention for yourself.
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I was going to comment but decided it would be an attempt at getting attention.
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Exactly. Please stop commenting and trying to get attention. Just to show that I will give you no attention, I’m not going to reply.
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Heat and bad air… ‘tis the season in the Southwest.
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That’s right. Nothing like August around here. I mean, how about those monsoons in Arizona.
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Finally got a monsoon the last few nights. Lots of wind — very little rain — even hotter today…
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Sounds like a spectacular time. Wind is always fun. Blowing around that awesome sand.
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