When I was growing up and watched TV, I was riveted to the screen. I used to run home, throw my bag and homework in a scrap heap and run to turn on the after school cartoons like Transformers and G.I. Joe. Television has always had this mezmorizing effect on me, a way that I … Continue reading I’d Like Your Divided Attention
Bitterness
How Did We Go From 1’s and 0’s to Hollywood Blockbuster’s?
I have a very creative mind that is very limited technically. I can see something small in nature like a leaf or a bug on the ground and my brain synapses start sparking. A million different lightning bugs go off in my head. I can immediately think of a hundred different metaphor's on how a … Continue reading How Did We Go From 1’s and 0’s to Hollywood Blockbuster’s?
Glitterally the Worst
"Were you born in a barn?" my mom used to ask me when I was a big pig growing up. I can honestly answer you a no on that, but I can say that I spent the weekend in one...for a wedding. As I wrote a few months ago, I can't stand weddings. I am … Continue reading Glitterally the Worst
Lights are so distracting Friday Giftures
I've always been a fan of not light. Light is kind of a jerk when you are trying to sleep. I'm one of those people that has to have it vampire dark for me sleep. Also have you ever been to a city a night? Always blinking, distracting me, trying to get me to … Continue reading Lights are so distracting Friday Giftures
Seeing the Signs
One of the weird things I miss when not having a job was the crack of dawn (just kidding, way before that) drives on the freeway and the steering wheel punching drives home. You can just feel the stench of the city in the air, the hustle and bitter of drivers having a hard day, … Continue reading Seeing the Signs
Letting the Cat out of the Bitter Bag
First of all, I know talking about pets is a sensitive subject, which is why I plan on talking about it. I know some people's life depend on their pets, maybe because they are a crazy cat lady, or because their dog cares about them way too much, but this rhinoceros pet owning is … Continue reading Letting the Cat out of the Bitter Bag
Drive by Comedian
When I was in college, my best friend and I would go door to door to random girl's apartments and knock. When they answered we would introduce ourselves and then try to make them laugh by telling them stupid puns. Every once in a while we would get a chuckle or a courtesy laugh, and … Continue reading Drive by Comedian
Lateness is Greatness Friday Giftures
As the regulars of this podcast know, whoops, blog know, I am always on time. Just kidding, but really I usually post in the early morning, depending on where you live. Where I live is right here and that is the most important. But you know, lateness is greatness, which is why I am … Continue reading Lateness is Greatness Friday Giftures
If People Were Named After Their Personalities Like Me
I guess I should probably tell you that I finally got a job and just as there are perks (I get paid money to do things) there are also the regular non-perks. The main non-perk is the same non-perk that almost every other job has. Other people. If it wasn't for that and the whole … Continue reading If People Were Named After Their Personalities Like Me
NoWayImGoodBro
Ever since I was young, I had a little bit(ter) of a rebellious streak in me. I've always had an issue with authority because I don't like people telling me what to do. I've never had a boss I didn't want to rebel against, a parent or authority figure that liked to tell me what … Continue reading NoWayImGoodBro
Bread And Bitter
Halloween is always kind of an awkward time for me. Especially at work. You never quite know if people are going to dress up and if no one does and you do, it is the most awkward thing ever. Then there is the really uncomfortable aspect about your costume. If you wear one that makes … Continue reading Bread And Bitter
The Bitter Transforming Pizza
There is something I have never understood about Halloween. It is one the biggest in this country, where I've heard the most money is spent, and somehow it isn't really a holiday? At least from what I have heard, a holiday consists of me getting the day off. And as long as I can remember, … Continue reading The Bitter Transforming Pizza
Sneaky Bitter Friday Giftures
When I was getting ready to leave work last night, there was a little paper sign on the door. "Halloween party in the break room at 1:30 pm. Prizes for contests, food, etc." It kind of shocked me, because Halloween just sneaked up on me. Which I know is hard to believe for some … Continue reading Sneaky Bitter Friday Giftures
Bitter Noise Pollution
I have two brothers and when we were growing up, we caused my parents a few headaches. Whether it was climbing on the roof of our house, jumping off the staircases to the level below, or throwing pencils at each others legs and making them stick (ask my brother about the graphite poisoning I … Continue reading Bitter Noise Pollution
Bitter Laugh Tracks
When my kids were young they liked to watch Disney shows. While Disney is really good at making future stars out of these young actors and actresses, they are really bad at making them funny. At least at that age. The shows are terrible. And they certainly aren't funny unless you are a kid who … Continue reading Bitter Laugh Tracks
Freaky Friday Giftures
The other day, I was going for a walk on one of the many trails around here and I ran into a cat. It was one of those bitter looking cats that look like Grumpy Cat. It had a scrunched up face and appeared to not give a care in the world that I … Continue reading Freaky Friday Giftures
Offensive Driving Bitterness
As amazing as it might seem, I was less old than I am now. Also, as amazing as it might seem, I was also in much better shape. One of the most bitter things I ever experienced was the old metabolism betraying me, because I was just as lazy then as I am now, but … Continue reading Offensive Driving Bitterness
Four Square Bitterness
On Friday October 13th, my son turned 10 years old. Of course we missed out on a huge opportunity by not having him born 3 years earlier and him becoming a Jason, Freddy or Pinhead. Regardless, since I am free during the days for a few more days, I was tasked with going to Panda … Continue reading Four Square Bitterness
Friday the 13th Giftures
It's that time of the year. The haunted houses are advertising that they can scare the heck out of you. The horror movies are making amazing amounts of cash by scaring the crap out of you. Worst of all, the pumpkin spice flavors are out to take all your money. But I'm not going … Continue reading Friday the 13th Giftures
Butt Dials
When my parents asked me where I wanted to go for my senior trip with the family, I of course said Cincinnati. So maybe it wasn't the most typical place to go, but I am not the most typical person. I just so happened to be a big fan of the Cincinnati Reds, and I … Continue reading Butt Dials
Ben's Bitter Blog 