Not a very good one if you can meet him.
There is this guy in my department that can speak five languges. I find it almost unfathomable to speak another language. Not that it wouldn’t be cool to know one. It would come in handy when you wanted to spy on someone.
You see it all the time in movies. Two people speaking a different language while James Bond or some other action hero knowing exactly what they are saying, without them knowing it. Then he pulls out a phrase that lets them know he knows exactly what they are saying.
The looks on their faces when they reveal the plan to him is priceless. I would like to be one of the people that pulls that kind of thing off.
There is the classic Star Wars one where Han Solo knows exactly what Chewy is saying, or even C3PO knowing what R2D2 is saying. But just like any other foreign language, if you don’t know it, it sounds like a bunch of gobbledy gook.
Not sure what he is saying here.
This made me wonder the other day if animals from other countries learn different languages. Like, for instance a dog. Does a dog from a Spanish speaking home know dog Spanish? Does a Russian parakeet utter Russian phrases, and could it then learn English Phrases if brought to an English Speaking households?
I’m not really sure, but if Han Solo can learn Chewbaccian, could we learn dog Spanish? And why haven’t we learned to speak dog, and cat, and parakeet, or whatever. You know they can understand each other with just noises, why haven’t me made more progress in learning dog or cat at least. I mean, we’ve been with them since like the Egyptian times or whatever.
Just curious.
What do you guys think? Do dogs know foreign dog languages? Do you think we should start learning their language?
ARRRRRRRGGGGHHHHHHH
Bitter Foreign Spy Ben
Ben's Bitter Blog 
Every woman should learn Chinese and Korean because: Nail Salons – the Chinese and Korean spy rings. They are the perfect spy group because:
1. You have no idea about their background, there’s just some printed piece of paper on the wall saying “certificate”
2. You tell them all your business because you sit across from them for hours at a time while they trim your cuticles
3. You call your friends and talk all kinds of smack despite the pedicurist 2 feet away (I’m short) rubbing your feet
4. They talk to each other in front of you and you have no idea what they are saying.
5. You happily log in to their salon wi-fi to save money. Now they have your data.
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It is best to learn languages so you can listen to them talking about you and then as a surprise you say something back to them in their language as a “Gotcha!”
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Now that you’ve mentioned it why haven’t we learned how to speak dog or cat by now? It doesn’t make us look very smart now does it. And I wonder if it makes the dogs or cats bitter feeling like our relationships have been very one-sided?
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Either that or we could call dogs and cats lazy for not learning our language. They just sit around all day. Why can’t they contribute by learning things?
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You ask some very important questions! I do think one of the phrases a dog repeats over and over is “GIVE ME YOUR FOOD!”
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I figure since their needs are so few that they need only a few barks to communicate things. IE get me food, let me go outside, walk me and THERE IS AN INTRUDER!
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I speak a gibberish of about 13 made-up words to our two cats that sounds like a language from the Baltic Sea region of the world…and they completely understand what I am saying. And they also understand some English.
Nice use of Mega Man with the spy Mega Man. I thought you would have used the Bitter Mega Man, but whatever.
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I wish I had the talent of creating my own things by drawings, but unfortunately, I have to depend entirely on stealing other people’s Mega Man’s and no one seems to want to make me a bitter one.
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Every time someone tells me how smart dogs are, all I can think about is how some of them eat poop. That said, you’ve got me wondering if there is a language barrier. Imagine having a Russian dog and an American dog in the same room. I wonder if they’d understand each other.
Full disclosure: I don’t have a dog, so I’m therefore not going to learn dog language.
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I also don’t have a dog…or a cat or any animal for that matter. I assume yelling at them is a pretty universal language.
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I’m not quite sure, but one thing I know is that cats and dogs can understand different languages (as much as they actually “can” understand a language) depending on where they live… And it did make me really bitter to know that a dog could understand Danish better than me when I traveled there…. Meh!!
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I think that animals are just trying to show us up. The worst part is that they show me up when it comes to naps. Cats have way more time to nap and that isn’t cool.
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I still don’t get why we have to work, and they don’t?!?
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Seriously, why are humans the only ones that have to work? I guess being at the top of the foodchains has its downsides too.
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Ugh… It’s lonely at the top sometimes, isn’t it?
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We should just get strong enough to eat animals and follow our instincts so the apes have to take over and we can just be the servants.
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If I were to learn a new language, I would pick dolphin-ian. Lol. At least dolphins are intelligent and are actually saying something worthwhile. 😉
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Yeah, I figure if they could speak English they would have really interesting blogs.
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My Japanese ex wanted me to learn the language so we could gossip about people right in front of them. Guys are the worst (best?) gossips!
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I would think so, but we just call it discussing other people as opposed to gossip.
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I would only want men to understand women language 😀
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Yeah, that would be something I think we should take in school. Most of our problems are misunderstanding what a woman says.
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We speak to our dog plainly and he understands. He even understands sarcasm. I don’t think he’d understand another language. I’ll experiment tonight.
He speaks to us with body language and location (where he sits). We also know what many of his barks, yelps, and growls mean. He’s like a hairy 90 pound 1-year-old human.
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Now that is an advanced animal. An animal that understands sarcasm? I didn’t learn that until I got a little older.
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Of course dogs in other countries know foreign languages, so they can understand their masters and still get up on the couch or dig in the trash anyway. I think the language they use to talk to each other seems universal, though. My dog makes a wide variety of sounds–sharp barks, playful barks, a “somebody’s at the door” bark, etc. He hums when he needs to go out, and sasses me with a “wo-wo-wooooo” when he doesn’t get his way. I should make a note to do a post on this before the idea gets away from me. 🙂
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Yeah, if you have any idea what they are saying, then you should get a gold medal. I guess there are non verbal cues, but it seems like they could do a better job of learning Dog English.
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Cats speak human language, they just choose to ignore phrases like “No,” “Get Dow” and “What is the matter with you?”
They always know who a pretty girl is though.
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Oh my gosh, every single cat I’ve ever dealt with, just plain does exactly what I don’t want it to. IE climb on me, get fur all over…
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They know what you want! And give you the exact opposite!
You wouldn’t be nearly as bitter without cats.
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Cats make me the bitterest. When I lived in South Dakota, I had a cat that would want to go out in the middle of the winter, so she would make us open the door when it was -30 and the wind would blow in her face. I would have to open the door like 5 times, and then she would go somewhere else.
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We have a poodle that was born and raised in Mexico. We think this dog is stupid because it doesn’t do what we say. But maybe we just have to find an English-Dog Spanish dictionary.
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It sounds like they just need to learn English. That dog English.
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