Remember when your teachers lied to you about needing math because you would need it in your career someday? And how you laugh at your teacher now, because not only do you have a calculator on your phone, computer and Ipad, but you have Excel at work to help you figure out any possible mathematical … Continue reading Rewriting History BFG’s
comedy
Working on Christmas Bitter Friday Giftures
I've been in the working industry for a long time. When I was a kid, my dad told me that there was no such thing as a free lunch. Since I was born at 8 pm at night, I was already proven as the laziest family member because I didn't have my first job until … Continue reading Working on Christmas Bitter Friday Giftures
Man’s Search for Comedy
I've spent the last 49 years cultivating a wit so sharp that onions cry when I cut them. Ninja's use my wit to sharpen their blades. Comedians wear ski masks and avoid detection from my brain's security system just to steal jokes from me. I feel like Usain Bolt slowing down for a turtle when … Continue reading Man’s Search for Comedy
Office Drone Bitter Friday Giftures
Since I like to avoid people as much as possible, I started watching YouTube videos on my headphones at work, so I could zone people out. One of the Youtubers I started watching was Casey Neistat. Some people might know him for a few viral videos he made, but he was mostly popular because he … Continue reading Office Drone Bitter Friday Giftures
Don’t be an Idiom Bitterness
Expressions are meant to sound catchy and easy to remember, and as a means for uncreative people to fill up their Instagram feeds. A long time ago, I thought quotes were motivational. This was back when I was a single celled organism, and I had no idea how to be creative. But as soon as … Continue reading Don’t be an Idiom Bitterness
Thunder Thighs Bitter Friday Giftures
There is a popular song out right now called Victoria's Secret by a singer named Jax. If you've never heard it, or paid attention to the lyrics (which I almost never do), it's basically a parody about all the things that Victoria's Secret "teaches" society about what women should look like. In one of the … Continue reading Thunder Thighs Bitter Friday Giftures
Scouts Make Me Shout Bitterness
When I was young, I loved the Transformers. Coming home to watch the Transformers was my reward for making it through a hard 6-hour day of school. One of my favorite characters was the advanced scout, Mirage, because he could turn invisible and would warn the Autobots of an early attack by Decepticons. I must … Continue reading Scouts Make Me Shout Bitterness
The Benefits of Following a Bitter Blogger
At my last count there were 8 billion, 400 million, 538 thousand, 436 people on earth at this very moment. Oh shoot, we just lost a few. And some crying kids were just born. Dang it! That throws off my count. Don't worry, I'll get the final count by the end of this blog. But … Continue reading The Benefits of Following a Bitter Blogger
The Tetris Effect BFG’s
The reason why I love video games so much is that I've been involved in a lot of video games firsts. In 1979, when home video games were just tiny little babies, I got an Atari 2600. I was the first person I knew to have one of them. I had no idea that that … Continue reading The Tetris Effect BFG’s
Picking Up the Pieces
For some stupid reason, every morning before I go to work, I watch the news. It's the local news, so all they talk about is who got murdered, what accidents happened and the stupid weather. But today, they were so excited because they discovered and overnight four-alarm apartment fire to feature as breaking news. They … Continue reading Picking Up the Pieces
Bitter Reviews of BBB
I used to watch movies in person all the time, because I love paying for disappointment in person. Alright that isn't the real reason. The real reason is that I used to be a hopelessly single guy that had no social life or prospects, so I would go to them to drown out the loneliness. … Continue reading Bitter Reviews of BBB
Blog Paralysis BFG’s
I know I keep talking about my trip to Scotland, but it's mostly because I need to brag that I got to go there, and you didn't. Mostly though, it was a once-in-a-lifetime trip that I will never be able to afford to go to again. Being there was just so unique because my great-great-great … Continue reading Blog Paralysis BFG’s
Reboot Bitterness
You have no idea how many times I've had to write this post. Well, okay I will tell you. Once. It was once, okay? But that doesn't mean I haven't had to write a bunch of other posts a lot of times. In fact, my best and most brilliant post ever had to be written … Continue reading Reboot Bitterness
Misery loves Privacy BFG’s
Last week, I said I was taking care of important business, so I just had to give my blog the average amount of attention. That was because I was dropping my daughter off to college. It was important for me to do so, because she is now attending my alma mater. Which according to Wikipedia … Continue reading Misery loves Privacy BFG’s
Dueling Identities Bitter Friday Giftures
Did you know that there are literally millions of podcasts on the internet right now? I didn't know that either, because I'm just guessing. What do you think, I talk about facts on here? Almost everything I write is either made up or mostly made up. But one thing I do know is that there … Continue reading Dueling Identities Bitter Friday Giftures
Water We Doing Bitter Friday Giftures
My favorite thing to do at work is chatting and chilling with my co-workers. Who needs headphones or distracting work when you can absentmindedly trade small talk with your co-workers. The day wouldn't feel complete without having to get off your headphones so you can answer such questions as, "Good morning". I feel like I'm … Continue reading Water We Doing Bitter Friday Giftures
Defending My Territory
I was just looking at some photos of Scotland this morning. They really took me on a stroll down memory lane. My favorite memory of Scotland? That I wasn't at work, and I wasn't writing a stupid blog post that would get 15 views and 25 likes. Those were some pretty great memories. If only … Continue reading Defending My Territory
Bitter BrainStorm Friday Giftures
I live in Utah, where it gets pretty hot during the summer (16 days this summer where we hit the triple digits) but it's dry heat, so we don't get near as hot as the humid area people. Luckily, I've figured out a really great way to beat the oppressive heat of the summer and … Continue reading Bitter BrainStorm Friday Giftures
Uniting the Clans Bitterness
It's pretty funny to me that companies actually have different departments the each have their own bosses. For instance, the company that I work for has a graphic design department, and an accounting department, and a marketing department. Some people might mistake being in a department as a team of people that work together. What … Continue reading Uniting the Clans Bitterness
Hollywood Destruction Bitterness
As the creator of insanely awesome bitter content that YOU get the privilege of reading/experiencing/bitterly laughing your head off to twice weekly, I understand the value of creating. I take my humor and bitterness very seriously, because you deserve to have the most creative bitter blogging possible. Most people live their whole lives in peaceful … Continue reading Hollywood Destruction Bitterness
Ben's Bitter Blog 