I haven't asked for much in life except unlimited wealth, unlimited health and unambiguous adoration from everyone, without having to talk to any of them. And of course, an underground bunker to store all my wealth and to protect me from people. Oh, and a moat, because they would be fun to store sharks, alligators, … Continue reading Hidden Door Bitterness
Bitter Friday Giftures
Brokemon Bitterness
I remember very vividly when Pokemon Go came out. It was the summer of 2016 and I was quitting my job of 15 years, and we were packing all our stuff to move 800 miles away. It was a busy summer to say the least. Pokemon Go was this phenomenon where almost everyone in the … Continue reading Brokemon Bitterness
Bitter Balance BFG’s
At the end of Inception, Leo spins a metal top to see if he is floating on the piece of wood at the end of Titanic. It was just his way of figuring out if he was still in reality where a woman really would not share some of the plank with him or if … Continue reading Bitter Balance BFG’s
The World is Going to…
A long time ago, I decided to make a decision. Making decisions are really hard for me, so I had to hype myself up just to decide to make a decision. I finally decided to make one, but then I changed my mind. Then I changed back, because someday I knew that I would have … Continue reading The World is Going to…
Watching Bad BFG’s
Do you know there is an actual hobby called bird watching? I guess it's like Pokemon where they try to find new species of birds, but instead of trying to collect them with Pokeballs and try to use them to battle each other, they just observe them and write down that they found them. How … Continue reading Watching Bad BFG’s
If it’s not Scottish It’s Crap BFG’s
Ever seen Braveheart? You know how in that movie, William Wallace is this battle savvy warrior, and he confronts the English who keep tamping down their Will(iam) by just giving the Scottish lords pieces of land? You know how WW is constantly fighting against the lords and the king of England because he just wants … Continue reading If it’s not Scottish It’s Crap BFG’s
Reverse Engineering Bitterology Degree
In high school, I had a friend that enjoyed playing basketball as much as I did. Unfortunately, we figured out pretty early that we would not be getting drafted to the NBA (because of the whole not making our high school team, not being 6'8 or being particularly good at it), so we decided that … Continue reading Reverse Engineering Bitterology Degree
Supercomputer Bitterness
The year was 1998. It was in my final year of college. I was taking a class in Statistics with the worst teacher ever. He was a pompous, Diet Coke drinker with short man's disease. When the class started there were 60 students and by the end, it was me and 7 other students. I … Continue reading Supercomputer Bitterness
Banned For Life BFG’s
You probably don't know this about me, but I'm on a wanted poster in my old college town. I broke multiple laws while I was there, and now I'm their public enemy number one. I broke some laws while I was there, but I was never caught for them. The first one was the dangerous … Continue reading Banned For Life BFG’s
What a bunch of Craplet
In my church, I'm one of the "adults" in charge of planning activities for the boys aged 7-11, which I love. When I get home from work, I don't want to rest, I want to go straight to an activity where I hang out with some amazingly respectful kids for an hour. If you've ever … Continue reading What a bunch of Craplet
MLM Success Bitter Friday Giftures
My brother told me a couple of months ago that he was moving into a new house. I half-heartedly told him I would help, without any intentions of doing so. Since I was responsible for making him a huge sucess in the world, (by showing him what not to do) I figured he would find … Continue reading MLM Success Bitter Friday Giftures
Denim Bitterness
Last night, I missed the most important event of the season. It wasn't E3, which is something I actually care about, or CLC (you know, my favorite convention to visit every year, the Couch Laying Convention). It was the Met Gala. I've been told by my inside sources that purpose of the Met Gala is … Continue reading Denim Bitterness
Pivoting BFG’s
I used to like sports when I was young, because all my joints hadn't quite calcified yet. I started out in baseball, because they made it extra easy for young, feeble weak children. There is a ball, a bat, and a tee with a ball resting right there for anyone but a failure to hit … Continue reading Pivoting BFG’s
The Relentless Pursuit of BFG’s
I had a short phase in my junior year of liking luxury cars. I would read magazines (magazines used to be offline and have glossy paper in the ancient of days) about cars like the Nissan 300ZX Twin Turbo, or the Mitsubishi 3000GT VR4 Twin Turbo. I guess I had a thing for Twin Turbos. … Continue reading The Relentless Pursuit of BFG’s
Social Battery
I was watching a TV show on Amazon about a teenage boy that had a father who was a superhero. His dad was from some planet that made him superpowered. When the boy was young, his father told him that someday he would inherit his superpowers and he would be super strong too. I think … Continue reading Social Battery
Forged Bitter Friday Giftures
A lot of people that watch The Office actually don't like Michael Scott (which is insane to me), because they think wasn't a great boss. The problem they had with him is that he worked so hard at being liked and being everyone's favorite comedian, that he didn't care about the work. Little did they … Continue reading Forged Bitter Friday Giftures
49 Things that Make Me Bitter
I'm one of the few billion people in the history of the world to have lived in 49 different years, 6 different decades, 2 different centuries, and 2 different millenia. If you were really bad at math and not particularly good at details you would think I was a thousand years old. And if you … Continue reading 49 Things that Make Me Bitter
Maintaining the World
I had a really great babysitter when I was young. I have nothing but glowing reviews, literally. I loved my babysitter so much that I will recommend that my kids and grandkids even use my babysitter. If you've ever seen Cable Guy with Jim Carrey or numerous other shows or movies when you were young, … Continue reading Maintaining the World
Blog Ideas
Note to self: Just a draft. Do not publish. Blog post ideas: March 26 Oscars are so boring. Do I even write about them anymore. What could I talk about that would make them more interesting. I guess I could make some absurd predictions about what will happens. Will...that reminds of wIll smith...something so absured … Continue reading Blog Ideas
Life Gifing Bitter Friday Gifs
I used to care about famous people. I looked up to them because they could memorize lines or dribble basketballs really well. Then I grew up and realized that most of them were just really suck. Most of them either got lucky, focused maniacally on one thing in detriment to anything else in their lives, … Continue reading Life Gifing Bitter Friday Gifs
Ben's Bitter Blog 