Last night, I missed the most important event of the season. It wasn’t E3, which is something I actually care about, or CLC (you know, my favorite convention to visit every year, the Couch Laying Convention). It was the Met Gala. I’ve been told by my inside sources that purpose of the Met Gala is to raise money for the poor people that live in District 12, so they can afford to eat scraps of burnt bread. The people in District 1 were starving as well (for entertainment) because they are getting tired of the same old yacht trips and spaceships. To curtail their boredom, they dress up even more ridiculously than normal, and put on a ball for themselves. The only purpose of the ball was to make fun of each other for the dumb outfits the “others” were wearing or creating content for their reality shows that wasn’t them complaining about how their personal chef burnt their prime rib, so they had to throw it out.
Speaking of beef, there was some beef between Kayne and Pete, or Blair and Serena. Maybe it was Nate and Chuck, (or is that Gossip Girl? I can never remember.)
Either way, I’m kind of shocked that I wasn’t invited because I could have worn my sweats and T-shirt and everyone would have talked about me. Not because I had the fanciest gown at the ball, but because I stood out amongst the weirdos. I might have even brushed my hair if I even had any. I would have worn deodorant, but then I would have stood out even more, knowing that most actors in Hollywood don’t.
After the ball, most of those clothes will be banished to the back of their closets, or Goodwill, never to be seen again. Not because people don’t have another occasion to wear that hideous dress in public again, but because they are out of style the moment they take them off. Designers chase fashion like it’s an elusive snow leopard to be caught and caged. But fashion is elusive and will never be caught.
Except…for one little material. And listen up, because this is riveting (you’ll laugh about this amazing pun in a minute). Born on May 20, 1873, a guy named Jacob Davis came up with the idea to put rivets (refer back to riveting pun) on the pockets of denim pants. This other guy named Levi Strauss “helped” him get a patent and then stole the idea from him and made a fortune. You’ve never heard of Jacob Davis jeans, but everyone has a pair of Levi’s. I’m kind of curious if these guys ever had a Kanye vs. Pete beef.
No matter how their beef went down, they invented something in 1873 that put all these famous designers to shame. None of them can get a dress, or shirt, or skirt, blazer or pantsuit to last more than a season. Yet, two immigrants living in District 12 came up with a design that has been in fashion since 1873.
Suits and pant suits even tried to replace them in the workplace, but suits toppled just like the rest, and now everyone wears jeans to work. As hard as others have tried to replace denim and jeans as the go-to thing to wear always, they have never been successful.
It has always baffled me that a single piece of material has dominated the fashion scene for so long. And then I thought, “How has my blog, so full of bitterness lasted 10 years?”
The answer is simple. No matter who you are, no matter how hard you try, happiness is fleeting like a dress, outrage is temporary like the Met Gala, sadness is just a transitional state that turns into a depression, like Pete Davidson comedy. Craziness, like Amber Heard will eventually be sent to a place where it can’t harm anyone else. Bitterness on the other hand, is the denim of emotions. It might be there, under the radar, and it might not be the “emotion” of the minute. But bitterness, like denim will always be the vehicle that drives us. It drives me more than anyone else, because it has been with me since the beginning, just like denim. Many of you have to work on your bitterness, and a lot of you try to hide it. But if you develop it like me, you could someday have a blog that lasts you 10 years too.
Unfortunately, you will already be 10 years behind. And that doesn’t include all the bitterness that manifested in me my whole life. It’s like a superpower, but only if you know how to use it. Thank goodness we have denim that we can wear to work every day.
Bitter Denim Ben
8 thoughts on “Denim Bitterness”
I feel being racist is a good part of being bitter; you have that inner bitterness towards a particular genre of people and you head on with your hate towards their kind; little to the most ignorant thing to do, makes good comedy but in real life it’s upset many
I actually lol’ed picturing some random dude showing up at the Met Gala in sweatpants. 😆 That would be a far more interesting read, like when that guy pretended to be Spiderman and climbed Salesforce Tower today, just for kicks. As for jeans, yes they’re technically timeless, but in the 1800s, there was one style, and now there are 80 different styles for $80 each. At least the rivets are timeless, I guess.
In the case of the Met Gala, sweatpants would stick out. The weird stuff is the normal there.
Yeah, jeans are more expensive, but only for the people that need the designer ones. My wife finds me the ones at Goodwill and they are just as comfy as the $80 ones.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I see what you’ve done here. And I am not bitter about it at all. Dammit. I have more work to do.
I’m not sure what I’ve done, but that’s okay. I’m always getting myself in hot water.
Omg this is the BEST fucking Blog I have read in a while. And yes Fuck em all!!!
Denim bitterness is all the rage this season.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I’m all the rage as well too, mostly about my rage to wear anything but sweatpants.