I am in the middle of an epic struggle called it's the hottest time of the year here, and we have no air conditioning. I was used to that in Seattle, because it never got over 55 degrees there, but here it has been between 95 and like 2000 degrees hotter than sun. I … Continue reading You broke my smolder Friday Giftures
Bitter Friday Giftures
Power out Friday Giftures
Of course we lose power in the middle of the summer. We have the worst luck in the world (or at least my own world) when it comes to losing power. We used to lose it all the time in Seattle. Any time a tree swayed or a slight wind picked up, you could count … Continue reading Power out Friday Giftures
Hot Air Balloon Gifture post
I've always been a closet claustrophobic. And by closet, I mean I hate being in closets because they are cramped. On the other hand, most people are afraid of heights, which I am not. No, I've never been on the top of Mt. Killaminjaro or whatever, but I used to climb on my roof … Continue reading Hot Air Balloon Gifture post
Summer Bitter, Summer Worse Friday Giftures
I'm what the Germans would call a Schadenfreudener or however they spell it. I like to see other people bitter. It was the reason I started this blog and this life so many years ago. I have ambition in being inambitious. I want to spread the word while laying on the couch. I want … Continue reading Summer Bitter, Summer Worse Friday Giftures
There should be more Lines Friday Giftures
No, I'm not talking about standing in lines for something stupid like movies or concerts or donuts. I'm talking about roads. I know some of them appear straight, but they aren't straight enough. I mean there should be a road that goes directly from where I am to my front door at all times. Why … Continue reading There should be more Lines Friday Giftures
Driving Irresponsibly Friday Giftures
There was an accident yesterday on the freeway, which caused all kinds of backups. Unfortunately, I went a little too early, so I missed all the chaos and arrived on time. Why do these things always happen to me? Why can't I figure out just the wrong time to come, so I have an excuse … Continue reading Driving Irresponsibly Friday Giftures
9000!!!! Followers Friday Giftures
Congratulations to the Darkest Fairytale, you just became the newest and bitterest member of the internet, IE you just became my 9000th WordPress follower. Do you know what this means? It means... It also means that we have to do at least 9000 gifs today for Friday Giftures. Ugh, it's going to be a … Continue reading 9000!!!! Followers Friday Giftures
It’s Time to Pin This Week Down Giftures
If I was a wrestler, then I would probably wear a mask and be the Bitter Brawler or something like that. I just assume that people really wouldn't want to see what is under the mask. I pretty much wouldn't be a champion, and I certainly would be a villain, but definitely the least popular … Continue reading It’s Time to Pin This Week Down Giftures
Doors open to Friday Giftures
A lot of people think of doors as a way to get into a better situation. Some people think of doors as a way to protect themselves from the outside world. But we know what they are really for. They are the introverts best friend. Not only do they keep the bad people out … Continue reading Doors open to Friday Giftures
Back in the Swing of Friday Giftures
It's been a long time coming, but someone finally accepted this big ball of bitterness into their office. I will be starting to raise the bitterness quotient dramatically into a new company starting on Monday. I will now have something new to complain about. That's right. I got a job. What is quite ironic is … Continue reading Back in the Swing of Friday Giftures
Flipping the Switch Friday Giftures
A lot of people have this insane ability to be able to flip a switch and be able to turn into beast mode(the Hulk has this ability literally). For a lot of people, the magical elixir is called coffee. Some people can do it in their basketball careers. These professional basketball players have the … Continue reading Flipping the Switch Friday Giftures
Storage Unit Friday Giftures
When we first moved to this place that we are living, we were worried about finding a place to put all our stuff. Don't get me wrong, we threw away, donated or sold a majority of our things, but we still had a bunch of stuff that we needed, but didn't need right now. You … Continue reading Storage Unit Friday Giftures
Roller Skater Hater Friday Giftures
Yesterday I learned that roller skating still exists. I thought it was just a bitter part of my youth. When I was the biggest dork in class (only that last 44 years or so) roller skating was the thing to do for school parties. When I first started skating I was pretty good at … Continue reading Roller Skater Hater Friday Giftures
Do Not Enter Friday Giftures
There are signs all over that tell you, "Do not enter". I see them a lot when I am driving on the wrong ramp on the freeway. I also hear a lot of people honking when I do that too which is weird, because they are the ones driving the wrong way. Not to mention … Continue reading Do Not Enter Friday Giftures
Surprise! Friday Giftures
Surprise parties are kind of the worst. Birthdays are already invaded by other people that never talk to you on Facebook all of a sudden sending you profound birthday messages like, "Happy Birthday!" The rest of the day is either work, or family or friends calling you with some super sweet small talk which drives … Continue reading Surprise! Friday Giftures
The Unmitigated Disasters of Friday Giftures
This week has just been...uggh. I should have expected that though, as it is my least favorite month of the year. The rejections came fast and furious, usually waiting for just the right moment. I get some sort of momentum going then, Schreechhhh! It's comes to a halt by just a few stupidly placed … Continue reading The Unmitigated Disasters of Friday Giftures
St. Bitter Patrick’s Day Friday Giftures
I've never been much of a St. Patrick's Day guy because I don't like being told what color I'm supposed to wear, and I don't like people in my personal space trying to pinch me. And if they pinch me, I should be growing an inch, not because I forgot to wear green. Plus, when … Continue reading St. Bitter Patrick’s Day Friday Giftures
Walking a Tightrope to Friday Giftures
You know those cats that are on those posters that are hanging on a rope and the stupid caption above their head says, "Hold on or something" or "Hang in there, man, you hang in there, you got that McClane?" Well the gifs being presented today are nothing like those motivational moments. These are … Continue reading Walking a Tightrope to Friday Giftures
That was a close shave…Friday Giftures
I'm not sure where that expression came from. I have been shaving since I was 14, and I've never had a close shave. I've had shaves that have cut, bruised, bled, caused multiple blood spots, and splotches, but never had one close. And for goodness sakes, I shave all the time and somehow it … Continue reading That was a close shave…Friday Giftures
It’s like giving candy to a baby…Bitter Friday Giftures
That whole expression about taking candy from a baby is really kind of obvious. First of all, the little runts really aren't supposed to be eating candy. Especially in those vital first years. And if they are trying to eat it, you are just doing a service for them. Candy would rot all their … Continue reading It’s like giving candy to a baby…Bitter Friday Giftures
Ben's Bitter Blog 