The other day, I was going for a walk on one of the many trails around here and I ran into a cat. It was one of those bitter looking cats that look like Grumpy Cat. It had a scrunched up face and appeared to not give a care in the world that I … Continue reading Freaky Friday Giftures
Offensive Driving Bitterness
As amazing as it might seem, I was less old than I am now. Also, as amazing as it might seem, I was also in much better shape. One of the most bitter things I ever experienced was the old metabolism betraying me, because I was just as lazy then as I am now, but … Continue reading Offensive Driving Bitterness
Four Square Bitterness
On Friday October 13th, my son turned 10 years old. Of course we missed out on a huge opportunity by not having him born 3 years earlier and him becoming a Jason, Freddy or Pinhead. Regardless, since I am free during the days for a few more days, I was tasked with going to Panda … Continue reading Four Square Bitterness
I Wish That Anything In Life Could Excite Me As Much As Squirrels Excite My Dogs.
One of the things I am most bitter about in life is that I was not given the ability to draw. I have already been surpassed in my artistic ability by my 13 year old daughter. Though to be honest, she surpassed me when she was 2 and first learned to draw. My stick figures … Continue reading I Wish That Anything In Life Could Excite Me As Much As Squirrels Excite My Dogs.
Friday the 13th Giftures
It's that time of the year. The haunted houses are advertising that they can scare the heck out of you. The horror movies are making amazing amounts of cash by scaring the crap out of you. Worst of all, the pumpkin spice flavors are out to take all your money. But I'm not going … Continue reading Friday the 13th Giftures
Butt Dials
When my parents asked me where I wanted to go for my senior trip with the family, I of course said Cincinnati. So maybe it wasn't the most typical place to go, but I am not the most typical person. I just so happened to be a big fan of the Cincinnati Reds, and I … Continue reading Butt Dials
Mystery Oreo’s
I'm not a big fan of mystery movies, because the ending is usually pretty stupid. The killer was usually someone you suspected from the very beginning, but they just made other people look slightly guilty somehow. Or the ending is super lame because if you just knew one thing, you would have figured it … Continue reading Mystery Oreo’s
12 Bizarre Behaviors Belonging to the “Blogger Bunch!” (Yes, Us!)
I think all of us bloggers go through this bitter thought process. Stephanie Lewis from Once Upon Your Prime is one of my favorites and you should go read her blog because it is funny and bitter at the same time, unlike mine which is just bitter.
The Blogger Bunch!
Here’s a story of a bunch of writer-folks, who’re once a strange set of girls and boys,
Growing up they had their journals and diaries, pretty much ignored all other toys.
Till the one day when these wordsmiths met WordPress, they knew they’d be just as pleased as punch,
If this group could somehow form a Blogosphere, and that’s the way they became The Blogger Bunch!
Ready? Here we go!
12 Blogging Behaviors You Might Recognize!
- We excitedly register for a free online WordPress URL, spend hours (no days!) setting it up, picking a perfect theme, arranging widgets, plug-ins, clever headers, tag-lines, backgrounds, and fonts — only to realize when the blog is finished . . . we must now actually write! (Wow, some of us were those brides who registered for china patterns, ordered imprinted napkins, centerpieces, catering, picked out the perfect gown, only to realize…
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Slow motion Friday Giftures
Someone must have hit the slow motion button on my life, because I can't seem to keep up. Just yesterday my kids were just starting school and today they tell me they are in 4th and 8th grades. The other day Donald Trump was this rich real estate guy from New York. Just today … Continue reading Slow motion Friday Giftures
Private Property
There is thousands of acres of land on this earth. I know because I took a geography class once. It taught me many things like uh...oceans are full of water, Antarctica is the most populous nation, and Transformers are living on the dark side of the moon. With all this land, you would think … Continue reading Private Property
The OFFICIAL Guide to Crushing it at Your New Job
As part of my new weekly post called “Reblogging others to get better stats”, I am choosing one really good post from another blogger in order to assure that at least one post per week is good on my blog. Anyways, this post was particularly good because I am searching for a job and if I ever do get one, it will be nice to try and fail to do all these things in this post. Anyways, enjoy the only good post I put on my blog this week.
So, you got a new job– congratulations! Now, the question is, how do you go in and crush it? I’m here to tell you how in a few easy steps. Follow these steps, and you’ll be sure to kick some new-job ass.
STEP 1: Arrive early
I know, this one seems obvious. Of course, you don’t want to be late, but you need to beearlyearly, like sit-and-wait-in-your-car-for-twenty-minutes early, especially on your very first day.
This gives you plenty of time to increase your anxiety ten-fold. By the time you walk in the door, your hands should be shaking, and your stomach should be doing flip-flops.
If you feel like you may vomit, you’ve done it correctly.
STEP 2: Eat lunch alone
You had plenty of friends at your old job, right? Plenty of inside jokes and understood facial expressions? Well, not anymore!
You’ll eat lunch by yourself; simultaneously…
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Go Fun My Bitterness Friday Giftures
I really like the idea of working from home, but only if I'm not actually working from home. I.E. I get paid to do things, but don't actually do things. I've decided that if some people can get money for free on Go Fun Me, so should I. They may say they have a … Continue reading Go Fun My Bitterness Friday Giftures
Rage of the Machines
When I was a kid, it was a different time. Kids got yelled at, punished, sent to their rooms, disciplined and we took it like men and women, even though we were kids. We understood when we did something stupid because our parents told us we did. Our teachers yelled, our principles sent us to … Continue reading Rage of the Machines
CouchLust
Some people really like to travel. I know, because I am an avid glimpser of other people's blog. Well, maybe that isn't true. Maybe I just look at the pretty pictures. But what I do know is that there are a lot of travel blogs dedicated to being on the road more than they are … Continue reading CouchLust
American Horror Story: What. The. F*@$.
You know things are bad when even parody's of what is going on in politics are bad. I don't watch American Horror Story, but blogger TypicalJenn does. She does a lot of reviews of other things like books, TV and movies, so make sure you follow, subscribe and like/comment on her post. She only has … Continue reading American Horror Story: What. The. F*@$.
Friday Giftures for Days
The days are becoming shorter and I'm okay with that. Daytime isn't good for you. The is the part of the 24 hours period where you have to do things like work, breathe, shop, deal with people, etc. On the other hand, the night time is when you do fun stuff like TV, video games, … Continue reading Friday Giftures for Days
How to Become Humble in One Easy Step
I've never been much of a motivational speaker, or a Self-Improvement guru. In fact, you could probably say I'm quite opposite. I'm more of a Self-Detriment, or demotivational speaker. But this idea burns so deeply in my defibrillated heart, that I can't possibly keep this information to myself. As Scott Adams, creator of Dilbert and … Continue reading How to Become Humble in One Easy Step
Guest Post: Stork Reality by Sam at Delusions of Pretension
I used to be a blogging snob, not allowing other people to guest post or do any reblogging, because I thought it would sully the bitter vibe all over this blog. I didn't think anyone else's opinion on bitterness would ever be anywhere near mine, (which it isn't by the way) but that doesn't … Continue reading Guest Post: Stork Reality by Sam at Delusions of Pretension
Is your refrigerator running?
You know the old adage, "Love hurts?" I'm okay with the heart getting hurt. When some girl cold bloodedly tells you that she has been dating someone else for a little while at the same time and she likes him better. Or when you ask a girl to go steady with a big huge cut … Continue reading Is your refrigerator running?
Car Wash Animals
I don't know if you are having a car wash war where you guys live, but there must be some dirty cars around here. Yeah, there are mountains nearby here, so I assume some people drive around in their Jeep Cherokees for car commercials, but man, I had no idea so many people needed their … Continue reading Car Wash Animals
Ben's Bitter Blog 