Some people really like to travel. I know, because I am an avid glimpser of other people’s blog. Well, maybe that isn’t true. Maybe I just look at the pretty pictures. But what I do know is that there are a lot of travel blogs dedicated to being on the road more than they are at home. I guess that would be an okay thing, but traveling seems almost as exhausting as working.
Oh, believe me, I’ve been tricked into going places for vacations. I’ve been to many places in the United States. I’ve even been to Mexico and Canada before. It is nice to be away from work (when you are paid to be so), but having to go through extra effort when you don’t have to? Seems like not so much of a vacation to me.
We twice went to Orlando, home of Mickey Mouse. Apparently a town in Florida is represented by a mouse. You know, those common household pests that no one wants to be trapping? And yet, we have dozens of acres dedicated to this one mouse. Anyways, we went there once for “vacation” during the Christmas season. I’m sure there were hundreds of things we could have done there. Visited the museums. Gone to see a movie. Go sword fighting. But we spent 7 days there. Visiting 6 parks, between Universal and Disney. I’ve walked to the the side of a mountain. I used to run track when I was a kid. I even played basketball and had two hours practices. But I’ve never walked as many miles in 7 days as I did that time. I even documented on this blog about 5 years ago my miserable step by step journey of those seven days.
That is not a vacation. Why people would ever walk that much is beyond me. All I wanted to do was spend valuable daylight sitting by a water source, whether that be a shower, a lake, a stream, a pool, a hot tub or any other water that made it so I didn’t have to stand or walk.
But my ultimate vacation would be to sit on a couch. Not moving from said couch, even for food. A servant can bring it, a kid, a robot, or even a conveyor belt. I don’t care. But I shouldn’t have to move while on vacation. I shouldn’t have to think on a vacation. I should become one with the couch. Feng Shui should even consider changing the rules to have a bitter white male as part of the practice to help complete the zen of a room. If they ever do, I will volunteer.
While I see there being millions of citizens of the world, craving and lusting after a need to travel, I see myself as a craver of the couch, a Couchluster if your will. Just make sure it is a comfortable one.
Bitter Couch Lust Ben