Friday the 13th Giftures

 

It’s that time of the year. The haunted houses are advertising that they can scare the heck out of you. The horror movies are making amazing amounts of cash by scaring the crap out of you. Worst of all, the pumpkin spice flavors are out to take all your money. But I’m not going to let that happen. I won’t buy into the spice. Not an Oreo, a Cheerio, or a even a Fabreeze. When it is late at night, I won’t go into a scary alley and get attacked by Pumpkin Spice. I won’t answer the door late at night for Pumpkin Spice to beat me over the head with its scent. And I won’t let my kids be attacked by an aggressive food sampler at a grocery store. Pumpkin Spice is not the spice of life. This Friday the 13th is for giftures, not Scary Pumpkin Spice.

Watch as this haunted bottle…

…beats this girl in the face.

Watch food and other things…

…appear out of thin air. 

Watch this haunted tree…

…make a ball attack this innocent woman. 

Watch this kid…

…attack his fear of math. 

This kid…

…well, he’s just possessed. 

These haunted smelly feet…

…can even penetrate the internet. 

Don’t mess…

…with the com”pet”tion. 

The haunted astroturf…

…was tripping everyone up today. 

The rooftop ghost…

…made this guy disappear. 

Just when you think it is safe to go through the gate…

….bam, it isn’t. 

Looks like Voldemort…

…turned Nagini into a cat. 

And how can we have scared gifs…

…without the OG’s of scared.

Have a haunted weekend everyone. I will be getting my scaredest by having to celebrate my son’s birthday on Friday the 13th. I can’t look at all the damage he is going to cause our bank account.

AARRRRGGGHHHHHHH

Bitter Scaredy Cat Ben

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14 thoughts on “Friday the 13th Giftures

  1. Every time you wrote Pumpkin Spice I was reminded of the Spice Girls for some reason… For a second I even thought they’d adopted a new member O_O

    I have tickets for a Halloween Steam Train event, hahaha! But when people scare me (or try to) I usually double up with laughter :’)

    Like

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