As the old man in the cave in Legend of Zelda said to Link, "It's dangerous to go alone. Take this." He was just being nice and handing Link a sword so he could survive all the weird acting animals in the world, but I think his advice is pretty strong today. It is … Continue reading Danger Friday Giftures
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Unnecessary Jobs
Several years ago, I was up late playing my favorite video game, and my wife was trying to sleep. She woke suddenly and complained about really painful heartburn. Usually, she takes a Tums and feels better afterward. But for some reason, that wasn't working, and she was complaining about intense pain that wasn't going … Continue reading Unnecessary Jobs
Bencademy Awards
I like movies because they are the dressier cousin of TV. While the newest and best movies require you to be some sort of dressed and pay money and get popcorn and sit in a seat that isn't a couch, they don't require you to think too much. Some require you to think if … Continue reading Bencademy Awards
Tidying Up with Bitter Ben
A lot of people are really good at things in their everyday lives that seem pretty inconsequential. Some people are great at doing laundry. They know the right temperature, the best fabric softener and the setting that every piece of clothing should be set at. Other people are amazing at cooking. They have a … Continue reading Tidying Up with Bitter Ben
The Best Handheld Device
When I grew up, we had these things called phones that were just a menace. They had long cords, big circular dials and were only used for actually calling people to talk, which quite frankly is the least good thing about phones. If you wanted to talk to someone that lived far away, … Continue reading The Best Handheld Device
Random Doesn’t Equal Funny
According to my daughter, random doesn't equal funny. Although according to her, she also thinks puns aren't funny. Actually, I think she also just thinks I'm not funny. Yeah, that is it. That wasn't always true though. She used to laugh when I played Peek-A-Boo. I guess the older you get, the less you think … Continue reading Random Doesn’t Equal Funny
Bitter Cancellation
I used to think that you had no choice in a lot of matters. Once you sign up for something, you were part of that thing for life. A year and a half ago, we signed up for Netflix and every month since, whether we watched something or not, they charged us $11 a month. … Continue reading Bitter Cancellation
Graffiti Bitterness
I grew up in an era when video games were brand spanking new and adults had no idea what to think of them. They thought they were toys that needed to be destroyed. I was a big arcade fan growing up and my favorite game to play was Super Mario Brothers. My friend and I … Continue reading Graffiti Bitterness
Lottery Dream Home
I've always been about taking the easy way out. If I was on a call with someone, and things got out of control, I didn't stick with the person and try to figure it out, I either just hung up on them or told them I would call them back and then didn't. If … Continue reading Lottery Dream Home
Instant Regret Bitter Friday Giftures
You know those days when you wake up and you instantly regret waking up? I'm sure I have a lot of dreams that I just don't remember, but I'm almost always sure that the dream is better than the reality. So I wake up, tired, sore, groggy and needing more rest and I instantly … Continue reading Instant Regret Bitter Friday Giftures
Underdog Bitterness
I grew up in a time when Saturday Mornings = watching cartoons. It was a much simpler time in which there were only three channels and on weekdays we were required to either do our homework or go outside and do things a lot. We might have been given a little time to watch one … Continue reading Underdog Bitterness
Vacation Bitterness
I think there are several goals when it comes to being on vacation. The first, most important goal is to forget how to function at work. If you are taking a vacation from your job and you are doing it right, on the day you come back, you should forget the route you take to … Continue reading Vacation Bitterness
Exercise Bitterness
Yesterday I talked about sports and how I used to enjoy them. Today I'm going to talk about how they ruined my life. To get some context, my son is a burgeoning athlete. He is so much bigger than other kids his age, that sometimes it doesn't even seem fair. In fact, in football, I … Continue reading Exercise Bitterness
Trolling
When I was growing up, sports was just kind of my deal. I didn't always love them, but I had a natural skill at some of them, so people always put me in them. I was decent at basketball, volleyball, baseball, long jump (had the school record for a couple of weeks) and was weirdly … Continue reading Trolling
Electronic Graveyard Bitter Friday Giftures
When it comes to things I like, most of it has to do with electronics. Most things that are electronic are expensive. Therefore, I don't normally go to a mall like my wife and just buy a few things and marvel at how inexpensive they are. I have to go to places like Best … Continue reading Electronic Graveyard Bitter Friday Giftures
My Bitter Love Language
As the self-proclaimed foremost expert on bitterness, I have done my best to study the bitterness emotion in all its varieties. It is not a complex emotion, but a very underrated and underused one. People always love the rage, and the happy, and the sad, but rarely do they ever think about the bitter. … Continue reading My Bitter Love Language
Bitter Christmas Gremlins
I have a pretty outstanding sense of direction. I can almost always tell where I am and where I need to go. It was always something built inside me and something I have tried really hard not to develop at all. Whenever I have been somewhere once, I can almost always find it again without … Continue reading Bitter Christmas Gremlins
Bitter Fire Drill!
This weekend we were visiting my niece because she just had a baby. She went to the same college I went to 20 years ago, and I haven't been back since 1995, the year I left. Everyone kept telling me how much it had changed, and I've always wanted to go back. Just like most … Continue reading Bitter Fire Drill!
Secret Stone on Our House
When I got home on Friday, I was told we had bees. One of my least favorite things are bees, the ones that sting anyways. In the summertime of my 14th year, it was a warm day and we had our sliding door open. For some reason, I was running in circles in our television … Continue reading Secret Stone on Our House
All Roads Lead to Bitter Friday Giftures
We are still putting the closing touches on our move. Our kids had their last day, so of course, they got kid parties to go to. So between my wife and I we made like 5 trips back and forth between our new place and the old one, the last one to pick up … Continue reading All Roads Lead to Bitter Friday Giftures
Ben's Bitter Blog 