This has been a weird week because not only have I had to do stuff at work, but also when I got home I've had to do stuff. You know those times I'm talking about. When you can't go home and immediately change into you sweats and melt into the couch with the remote and … Continue reading Tricky Bitter Giftures
Fiction
Bitter Time out for Adults
I'm getting a little tired of telling my kids to get to bed. Tired of telling them to eat their ice cream for dinner and tired of telling them to shower once a month, tired of telling them to bring me the remote control over and over again. I'm tired of them making me … Continue reading Bitter Time out for Adults
Glutton for Punishment Giftures
Every afternoon, I leave my crazy job for a little bit and go to the break room. I grab my smart phone and turn on the big screen TV and I watch that game show called Let's Make a Deal. You know, the one where people dress up like deranged lunatics on Halloween so they … Continue reading Glutton for Punishment Giftures
Clothes need to start doing more
Smart phones are useful because they do like more than one thing. They actually do like 3 things. They text (with your permission, of course) they run apps, and they run the internet like a mini-boss. If you have a cool smart phone and don't depend on it to ignore people on a regular basis, you … Continue reading Clothes need to start doing more
Bitteraffirmations
I don't know if you've heard of this phenomenon called Facebook, but it's what they call a Social Network where you and some people you call "friends" become even closer as friends by connecting through a computer box. Here is what happens. You go to this website http://www.facebook.com and you fill out all kinds … Continue reading Bitteraffirmations
40 Years of Late Night Shenanigan Bitterness
There was a whole lot of things going on in the world this weekend. First, trending on twitter, people were anticipating my doctor's appointment, #excusetoleavealittleearly. FYI, I didn't die, so I guess things turned out alright. Then, there was that lame game night that was planned for the evening. You will be bitter to know … Continue reading 40 Years of Late Night Shenanigan Bitterness
Rage Quitting Friday Giftures
Back in the old days (pre-Benzoic Era 1973) people were polite when they decided that they didn't want to something anymore. People would write a nice note to their boss apologizing that they needed a little time off of work from the mines that they worked 18 hours a day 7 days a week. … Continue reading Rage Quitting Friday Giftures
February – A Bitter Person’s Dream
Some people (ie me) can get bitter about anything. Day or night, cold or hot, east or west, Monday or Friday, April or August. It's a talent for some of us, and something I think a lot of people really envy. I understand your jealousy, but I don't really care. There are times of the … Continue reading February – A Bitter Person’s Dream
More than meets the Bitter Eye
I know this topic is so out of date, that the fantastically bitter people of 2007 are snarling at me, but I think this topic has not had near the attention that the bitter community deserves. (By the way, a big part of bitterness is reliving the past and all the mistakes you make. … Continue reading More than meets the Bitter Eye
Bitter Indecisiveness
Choose something for goodness sake! Chicken or fish! I don't know...fish is so terrible and chicken is really good, perhaps I'll go with...I just don't know! Do you wanna watch a comedy or drama? Let me see, should we laugh really hard for an hour and half or sit around bored trying to decide why … Continue reading Bitter Indecisiveness
Bitter Daymares
The other night, I was asked to perform the husbandly task of moving a box of something that was placed somewhere inside to a location outside. When it comes to being useful around the house (or anywhere for that matter) I am the Wally from Dilbert fame. I stealth in and out of situations be … Continue reading Bitter Daymares
Groundhog’s bitterness
Some of you who were born before Bill Murray's Groundhog's Day movie came out in 1993 won't recall this, but before then, Groundhog's day was not known as a day that repeats itself, but a day that was famous for a rodent. Kind of like Disneyland. Let's be honest. When's the last time the hog … Continue reading Groundhog’s bitterness
How to Have a Super Bitter Bowl
Hello from Seattle, where in a days time, the whole city will be rioting. Either because the Seahawks won the Super Bowl, or because they didn't. Or they because the grass is too green in the downtown parks or because the mandatory 5th break per hour isn't being honored by the union, or because some … Continue reading How to Have a Super Bitter Bowl
Bitter Abandonment Giftures
Abandon hope all ye that read stuff on here. Just like my writing skills have abandoned me this week, so should you abandon your desks and workstations and computers and find bitterness in your cars, trains, planes, moped, skiis, snowboards, apparating or Time Machine Deloreans. Go home and grab some chips, soda, bar-b-q sauce, wings, … Continue reading Bitter Abandonment Giftures
Bitter Modes
Some people probably think that I am a robot programmed for the one dimensional purpose of being bitter. Part of that is true. I am a robot. And I am programmed for bitterness. But, there are actually many different subtle dimensions to my bitterness. I am programmed to behave differently in the traffic environment … Continue reading Bitter Modes
Bitter Bandwagon Ben
You might know that I live in Seattle. Now you might be thinking I'm gonna humblebrag about the fact that the Seattle Seahawks are in the Super Bowl for the second year in a row, and how I've been the biggest fan for life. And you'd be wrong. About five years ago, Seattle was … Continue reading Bitter Bandwagon Ben
Bitter Sell Out Giftures
It's Friday, which means we can start talking about what makes us bitter through little moving pictures. As you might now, the Super Bowl is coming up. I guess I could avoid this thing that is annoying me by just turning the station, but in the last week, I think I've only heard like zero … Continue reading Bitter Sell Out Giftures
Bittermunity
Wanna know why I'm your least favorite blogger? Because I'm around. ALLLL the time. I'm clogging up valuable space on the internet that you could be using for trees, or pictures of your kids, or YouTube. All day on YouTube and the video would move so much faster, if it wasn't for this guy that … Continue reading Bittermunity
My Cybernetic Dream and My Bitter Heart Crushed
In the spirit of Mr. Martin Luther King's Day coming up, I had a dream. I've always wanted to be a cyborg. I want all my joints that have ever felt pain to be replaced by metal. I wanted metal arms, metal knees, metal back. Yesterday, as I was going through a real amount of pain in … Continue reading My Cybernetic Dream and My Bitter Heart Crushed
10 Bitter Me’s in Pop Culture
The Golden Globes happened two days ago and kicked off what Hollywood calls their "awards season", where they get together, dress up in their prom attire and congratulate themselves on doing such a great job in their school plays. They think that the whole world cares about their clothes and how well they acted in their … Continue reading 10 Bitter Me’s in Pop Culture
Ben's Bitter Blog 