Hey bitter blog followers. Remember way back in like, January when it was all snowy in the North and East and stuff and people were bitterly complaining about how much snow there was? Remember how bitter you were and you woke up that morning and saw a post of mine called “Help Me Become Number 2?”
It was a post about these award thingys they hold every year that are way more prestigious than the Oscars, the Grammys or the Nickelodeon Slimmy Awards, called the Bloggy Awards. Anyways, I did a campaign and asked that all of my followers vote for me so I could get second place, a bitter person’s favorite because we are just this close(imagine my finger holding a little space between it.) Think of all the bitter second place winners, the San Antonio Spurs of 2013, the Silver Medalist USA Basketball team of 1972, the 2015 Seattle Seahawks. Bitter crushing losses. And according to Nike or some other slogan writer who probably doesn’t even get credit, second place is the first loser. See how important it is for me to get second place? So I can be bitter for my whole life, knowing I was that close and just didn’t win by one vote. Do you know how much that could mean for my bitter self esteem?
So my rambling has no point except for somehow enough of you nominated me to become a finalist in the Weblog of the Year(whatever a weblog is). It is now your duty to visit this link and also pass along the word to your followers to vote my second placedness. Do it for all bitter kind. You could be the difference between me being normal bitter or me being a legendarily bitter person. Go visit the polls today…or I will hunt you down….
Bitterly Secondary Ben