Groundhog’s bitterness

Winter

This winter, just like your Monday and this Gifture, will never end.

Some of you who were born before Bill Murray’s Groundhog’s Day movie came out in 1993 won’t recall this, but before then, Groundhog’s day was not known as a day that repeats itself, but a day that was famous for a rodent.  Kind of like Disneyland.

Let’s be honest. When’s the last time the hog saw his shadow (I had to look up which one predicted spring started right away, because I didn’t know, just like you) and predicted that spring started right away? And for goodness sake’s even if he did, I don’t know if you have ever checked a calendar, but spring doesn’t start until Middle of March.  Unless you live in Arizona or Australia or something.  But if you live in the north, (north US, or Canada, or Alaska, or the North Pole or something) good luck having the snow melt before Mid April.

To me, Groundhog’s is a day dedicated to fighting change. This post is dedicated to those that don’t innovate, they sameinate.

One more time?

One more time?

Here’s to Tom Cruise and Renee Zellwegger in Jerry Macguire. If you haven’t had a chance to see this movie, go do it…sometime.  I don’t care when.  A month, a year from now.  You may have to snag a copy from some old guy because this was the era before DVD.   You might have to catch it on TNT Classics.  Regardless, at the time it came out, it was a big deal.  Tom Cruise was actually getting some Oscar talk.  Forget about the plot.  All I know, is that in this movie, Tom Cruise, Renee Zellwegger and Cuba Gooding Jr. repeated lines ALL. THE. TIME.  Just off the top of my head, “Who’s coming with me? Whooo’s coming with me?”  Cuba, “Show me money.  Show me the Moneeeeyyy!”  Tom, “We had a big night. A very big night.”  Renee: “You had me at hello.  You had me at hello.”  Did the script writer have a broken typewriter?  Did they do multiple takes and forget to edit out lines? Did they think we just needed every big line repeated over and over again? Why innovate, when repeating the lines make your movie longer?

To you, blogger that writes about the same thing..all. the. time.

To you, blogger that writes about the same thing..all. the. time.

Raise a glass of water for this blog.  I know you are probably sick of hearing the word bitter over and over again. Trust me, my family sure is.  Every time they hear that word on television, movies, radio, at the grocery store, on other blogs, or even at the grocery store, they look at me and say, “Dad it’s your word again.”  I get that they are sick of it.  The same themes are being used over and over again too.  For instance, I was looking through my year end stats and noticed that every single Friday for the whole year, I did a post on Friday, except for one.  The Friday after Christmas.  I was feeling lazy.  But did you know that every single Friday, I do Giftures? You don’t have to be a lifelong follower to know that. You don’t have to be a genius to notice things that recur around here, all the time.  Sorry, not really sorry.

To the gif that keeps on giffing.

To the gif that keeps on giffing.

Have a nice warm glass of sameness, Giftures. Speaking of my recurring post on Fridays, I always use gifs.  And you know what repeats more that Tom Cruise in Jerry Maguire? Giftures.  In fact, why don’t you go take a look at a post I did a year ago.  Pick a Friday. Any Friday.  Pick a gifture, any gifture.  It was a whole year ago.  And yet, your favorite gifture, still repeating over and over again.  That person’s pain happening for you to stare at over and over again to contemplate how stupid they are for doing what they just did.  How come I’m not lucky enough to have some stupid I did happen over and over again on the internet.  I need to get out there and do something stupid in front of a camera.

To Mario, for doing the same thing for 25 years.  Just like me.

To Mario, for doing the same thing for 25 years. Just like me.

Here’s to sameovation, Nintendo. Nintendo is dedicated to making money from the same sources over and over again.  Make a change? Not gonna happen.  Me and games go way back.  I got my first Atari way in like 1979 or 1980.  I loved games way before they were cool.  Anyways, I remember playing Super Mario Bros at the arcade, spending quarter after quarter, trying to extend how far I could get with three lives (ironically I still don’t have any life). When I saw that Nintendo was coming out with a console that played that Mario Bros. game exactly like it was at the arcade, I couldn’t believe it.  I convinced my parents to buy it somehow and I couldn’t believe that it actually played just like it did in the arcade.  Then Zelda(Link actually), Metroid and Pokemon came out.  They were all popular beyond belief.  So, of course, just like in the movies, when something is popular, you make a sequel.  And Nintendo kept getting better at making them, but the just kept doing it. Over and over and still to this day, they pretty much bank on Mario, Zelda, Metroid and Pokemon games.  They never make anything new.  They fought change. And look where it has them today.  A company known for a plumber.

Act like a groundhog today, My job – Come in the same time every day.  Clock in at the same time.  Eat lunch at the same time every day.  Do the same credits, talk to the same people on the phone, complain about the same people that I talk on the phone with every day.  Complain about stuff on my blog, and twitter and Facebook and Instagram.  Throw shade at the same people that annoy me everyday.  Leave work early for a “doctor’s appointment” every day.  Get a new gray hare every day.  (These dang grey rabbits are starting to get annoying.)

Change is for suckers.  Every once in a while, someone comes along and tries to innovate, like Thomas Edison with electricity or Mark Zuckerberg with Facebook, or Al Gore with the internet.  But really? Were those things that great?  Electricity is so undependable, that as soon as the wind gets a little strong and some wires are knocked out, we lose it.  Facebook is just another way for people to complain and reconnect with people from high school that they really didn’t want to reconnect with in the first place.  And Al Gore? He invented the internet, but couldn’t even use it to beat George Bush in an election or figure out how to stop global warming? Why invent something if you can’t even use it to solve one of your problems? And the inventors of dating websites are losing their “potential mates” to other people using their dating sites.  Innovation is for suckers.  Just live your life like it’s Groundhog’s Day.

I say have an awkward fist bump with sameness. All these motivation speakers say, “Embrace change.” Well, guess what. I’m not a hugger.

ARRRRGGGHHHHHH

Bitter Bitter Ben

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35 thoughts on “Groundhog’s bitterness

  1. Pingback: February – A Bitter Person’s Dream | Ben's Bitter Blog

  2. Ben, don’t be bitter (like that’s possible). I think Mark Zuckerberg and Al Gore are just taking a page out of Bill Murray’s playbook that’s all. I mean, they are probably living each day over and over until they get Facebook, the election, and global warming right. As for electricity and its many problems (because Tommy left us a while back), its future is not as bright.

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    • No I would never be bitter about anything. That might be true about those guys. Maybe they are all just living a day over and over again so they can learn something important and be tools at the same time. Looks like they worked.

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  3. LOL I don’t know where to start!! This is hilarious!! I had no idea Jerry McGuire repeated so many lines – thank you for bringing this to my attention. I will share the fist bump of sameness today. . . sort of. The kids had a two hour delay, but other than that, here I am, sitting with my coffee and peering into my computer screen to read who posted while I was away! I love Nintendo and its sameness and I depend on my routine!! 🙂 Too funny Great post!! To Groundhog Day, (the movie) and leaving everything to remain the same!!

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    • Yeah, as much as I liked Jerry Maguire, it just remember thinking “Do they guys have a stuttering problem?” It’s amazing to realize how many times they did it. I loved Nintendo for so long until I realized that all the cool games were coming out on Xbox and I was sitting there for months waiting for Nintendo’s next big thing, only to see it be a mediocre Mario side title. Have a great same thing day!

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  4. Change is inevitable and therefore everything will change. Mountains were once under water. It is a time thing. Eventually we will go back to the primitive in us all. It is the bitter truth.

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  5. “I would embrace change but I’m not a hugger.” I bet if you put that on a t-shirt you would change into a millionaire.
    Or maybe just a thousandaire.

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