You might know that I live in Seattle. Now you might be thinking I’m gonna humblebrag about the fact that the Seattle Seahawks are in the Super Bowl for the second year in a row, and how I’ve been the biggest fan for life. And you’d be wrong. About five years ago, Seattle was one of the most pathetic, bitter sports town you could ever imagine. The Mariner’s were about as bad as you could imagine, the Seahawks sucked, the Washington Huskies had a season where they went 0-12 and didn’t fire the coach until after the season. Worst of all, they lost the Seattle Supersonics completely by way of subterfuge, lying, backstabbing and a bunch of politicians that tried save them way too late. This town, who drinks coffee for a living, and could get umbrellas permanently attached to their heads, was in the deepest part of sports depression. They were even comparing us to Cleveland in terms of sports. Then, about three years ago, the Seahawks were good and we gained hundreds of thousands of “die hard” fans for lyfe, yo!
Just joking. There are a few die hard fans that liked them when they sucked, but for the most part, the Bandwagon started when the Seahawks became good. Just like when the Mariner’s won 116 games back in 2001. Guess what though? In the years since, when they started losing more and more, the Bandwagoners left to leach onto whatever winning team was around. In sports, if you do that you are a pariah to the “loyal” sportsfan. But guess what, we are all Bandwagoners in some way. And if you claim you aren’t, then you also believe that Brady when he said, “I feel like I’ve always played within the rules.” None of us “has always played within the rules.” If you have, I have some Super Bowl tickets for sale. I am a bandwagoner in just about every way. Don’t believe me? Let me just sight a few examples.
My wife got a bell shaped bird feeder and put it up outside our kitchen window. We observed out the window. All of a sudden, our backyard was the most popular yard in the land. Birds from all over were coming to visit OUR house. They were lining up in the tree to see how cool we were. To be our “loyal” friends, to dine in our fine restaurant of seeds where they didn’t have to fend for themselves. All of a sudden, they were fighting over us, wanting Bitter Ben Jersey’s and hats, and calendars and clocks. But the bell shaped glob of seeds became cone shaped, and eventually became no shape. Just a stick, dry and invisible and completely non existent. Wanna guess what happened to “loyal” Bitter Ben fans? I can’t tell you, because I haven’t seen any of them since.
I’ve been a Spurs fan since the late 80’s. You’re probably going to say, “Wow! That guy is super loyal and a die hard fan!” Wellll, not so fast there slick. First of all, the first season I started following them, David Robinson was a rookie and probably the best franchise player to come to a team since Michael Jordan. Since then, the Spurs have won 47 games(other than in strike years) in every season but one. That would be the 1996-97 season where they lost David Robinson for the season and 3 other starters for most of the season. And because of that, they got another franchise guy named Tim Duncan. And guess what season I barely watched basketball at all? Yep. Even though I am a fan, when they faltered, so did I. And the season they go into the tank again. Probably the season I buy the least amount of merchandise.
How brand loyal are you? Love your Nike’s? I bet you do. Until you get one dud pair that you broke your foot in. All of a sudden Reebok’s aren’t the worst idea in the world. Any huge Nintendo fans out there? I was…for years and years. Until I recognized a pattern of them putting out the same three games with the same three characters over and over again and I kept wanting games on those “other” consoles.
Apple products and you will never be separated right? Until your laptop breaks down and your Ipod stops working and your Time Machine stops sending you to the future. Favorite actor of all time? Well Jim Carrey of course. Until he starts making dud after dud. Well, aaaalrighty then. I think I’m finding a new favorite.
This blog or any blog for that matter isn’t immune either. I notice when my stuff sucks, the audience goes elsewhere. And honestly, I don’t blame them. I might tire of my stuff after a while and go see the latest and greatest new blog that looks fancier and writes with more peanuts (or is it panache. I can’t remember?) It’s what we do. We are all bandwagoners. If you think you aren’t, just wait until your “favorite” thing, disappoints you. It may not be on everything, but it will be something.
So here’s a hint. If this blog sucks, go find a new one. If all the teams in your city are terrible, move to a different city. If lifelong fans start making fun of you for being a bandwagon fan, start a bitter argument with them. Tell them that they weren’t exactly yelling it up when their team was 0-16. Tell them that when the bird food was gone, so were they. Tell them that they left their company when it was going in the tank. Tell them that maybe Jack was loyal to his girlfriend of a few days on the Titanic, but he ended up freezing while she came out looking like a Rose with a freaking blue diamond.
Call me a bandwagoner. I don’t care.