I don't really like people telling me what to do. Kind of a freak about that, but it started early in the old Bitter Man's life. My mom told me to come out in March, but I was not having it and decided that I was going to chill a little longer in the warmth. … Continue reading Bitter Inanimation Objects
Fiction
Bitter Memes from a Bunch of Weirdo’s (Yeah, you people)
A couple of weeks ago, or a week ago, (I don't remember. Do I look like I'm good at the passage of time?), I put a call out to all the people who follow this blog and told them to make memes for me or something. And the response was so underwhelming. I mean … Continue reading Bitter Memes from a Bunch of Weirdo’s (Yeah, you people)
Don’t call it a Comeback Friday Giftures
You can't call it a comeback, because I've been here for years. - L.L. Not so Cool J Ben Remember when that song was a thing? Now that I am done with school and haven't received my first $1,000,000 offer to change people's lives for the worse, I've got a whole lot of time on … Continue reading Don’t call it a Comeback Friday Giftures
Bitter Good Byes
Here's a depressing fact for you: Today may be the last time you ever see someone. Think about that bitterly for a second. Whether it is someone dying, or you saw someone at a Black Friday sale for the first and last time, every single day is potentially the last day you ever see someone. … Continue reading Bitter Good Byes
It is Snow Cold
For those of you who don't know anything about me, I grew up in South Dakota. If you've never heard of it, it is South of North Dakota, which is different than North Carolina. It is located in the middle of the country and has less people in the whole state than most minor cities. … Continue reading It is Snow Cold
Bears Beets Bitterstar Galactica
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ujg0CnjgE9Q Thanks to the classic Office prank that Jim played on Dwight, we know that the algebraic equation Bears >Bitterstar Galactica is true. Not that I know anything about Batterstar Galactica, or math but I do know that bears rule. You might think that bears are kind of scary, and you might be right, about … Continue reading Bears Beets Bitterstar Galactica
Jingle Bells to the Wall Friday Giftures
I've been hearing a lot of bells ringing a lot lately. I don't know if it's the ringing in my ears or if it is Grinch stalking us on the roof waiting to steal all my stuff as soon as we leave the house, but it sure is making it hard for me to … Continue reading Jingle Bells to the Wall Friday Giftures
Bitter Training
How I survived 43 years without riding the train on regular basis, I don't know. I used to think that my happy place was riding home in my car for 40 minutes between work and home. Clearly, I was wrong. Riding on a train is a lazy man's dream. You show up with this magical … Continue reading Bitter Training
Make a bitter meme, get featured on Ben’s Bitter Blog
Who wants to become part of history? You all have a chance to the be the first people in the history of ever to submit content to me and actually get it on a post of mine. How does it feel to be on the precipice of history? Are giddy with bitterness? Morose with paralyzing … Continue reading Make a bitter meme, get featured on Ben’s Bitter Blog
Bitter Rivalry of the Week: Social Media Engagements vs. People Engagements
I've spent an awful lot of time this semester hearing a lot of social media "buzzwords". There is reach, user generated content, remarketing, content curation, funneling, conversions, and native advertising. But there is one word I've heard more than any this semester and not really wanting to hear:engagements. It's probably because I go to a … Continue reading Bitter Rivalry of the Week: Social Media Engagements vs. People Engagements
Throwing in the Towel Friday Giftures
I've never been in a fight before, other than that one time in college when I was walking home, minding my own business and three guys attacked me. It's not important why they attacked (probably because they were a bunch of bullies, or because I egged them on. Again not important which). Of course, … Continue reading Throwing in the Towel Friday Giftures
Clickbait Bitterness
The greatest invention of our time, the World Wide Web, is a dark, devious place, where you can find terrible, horrible, no good, very bad things. Things like cat videos, Facebook updates from your "friends" and blogs that talk about bitterness. Yeah, there are a few good things that come from the internet, like … Continue reading Clickbait Bitterness
Things that are hanging on for dear life
As I sit here staring out the window at the snow gently, slowly and bitterly pounding the ground and every other obstacle in its destructive path, I reflect back poorly on the entire last week. Just like the snow clings hard and doesn't let go until the warm air of the sun destroys it, I … Continue reading Things that are hanging on for dear life
Bowling Alley Friday Giftures
So I wasn't bowling the other day and I was trying to strike up a conversation with someone, just kidding, why would I ever do that? Anyways, I was driving in the wrong lane, when I came upon something in the gutter...ball, and it struck me that I needed to do something this coming … Continue reading Bowling Alley Friday Giftures
It’s snow fair Friday Giftures
Don't you just love when it is the first snow of the year and everyone drives on the road like they are one of those horses that are just born and are trying to walk for the first time? I really do enjoy seeing all the cars in ditches, and cars sliding around like … Continue reading It’s snow fair Friday Giftures
Dangling that Bitter Carrot
There is probably some sort of reason why I get up at 5:30 in the morning, fall asleep in the shower, put some clothes on, shave this freaking face, get in a car, hop on the train with like a billion people that give me bitter stares, get off the train and walk like 15 … Continue reading Dangling that Bitter Carrot
Least Favorite Day of the Week Giftures
I know you guys have been dreading this day all week. Friday's are the worst I know. You had your stressed out Monday where you forgot to do your assignment, then Tuesday when you had to wait in line all day, then Wednesday where you had to figure out how to make Miley leave the … Continue reading Least Favorite Day of the Week Giftures
I Feel A Disturbance In the Bitterness Today
Hey everyone, I would not be the world's leading authority on bitterness if I didn't post something today. Since I had my head in the sand(by that I mean head leaned over pretending to do paper while actually sleeping) working on a paper about social media, I wasn't able to watch the news or read … Continue reading I Feel A Disturbance In the Bitterness Today
The Ultimate Bittersurvivor
Remember that game show Survivor? Do you remember how they placed people on an island with only a few provisions? They had to fend for food, and make their own shelter and compete in challenges against another team of survivors and then they had to vote one off every week. I think Tom Hanks was … Continue reading The Ultimate Bittersurvivor
Cursed Friday Giftures
As you probably have heard, the Cubs won the World Series the other night. If you haven't it's because you were hiding in a bunker for the last 108 years and didn't know that it was such a big deal. If you were hiding in a bunker, welcome back. A lot has happened since you … Continue reading Cursed Friday Giftures
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