Long time no Bitter Friday Giftures

 

For bitter’s sake it has been a long time. At least in blogging days. It’s been an actual week since I’ve done anything on this sad pathetic blog. I know I’ve got at least one idea for a post, but I’m not going to break the long standing tradition of doing Friday Giftures, just so I can do a post about something of substance. So you might have to wait another week before you hear all about the way this bitter person spends Christmas. Let me just give you a hint: It wasn’t peace on earth or goodwill toward men. It was probably just laying around being lazy. Or it could be something else. Either way, how about some bitter giftures to not tide you over until I do a real post someday.

Sometimes when you horse around…

..

…you end up hanging around too much.

When you try to ski…

...

…you end up flying instead.

Some people have to turn laziness…

....

…into a big drama.

Locker are called lockers for a reason…

...

…they should stay locked.

When they say jumping jacks…

....

…they don’t mean flipping jacks.

When administering painful things…

...

…don’t be surprised if you get pain administered back.

When trying to give away things…

...

…try not to hit the roof.

Make sure you concentrate…

...

…or you will fail in front of your piers.

Careful with the mechanical bull…

...

…or you will get the horns and the floor.

When you stair too hard at people…

...

…you can get burned.

When working in a cubicle…

...

…I can bearly stay awake.

It’s been pretty crazy this winter…

...

…with all the snow fall.

Speaking about long time no see, let’s just make sure that 2016 becomes that way. Now that there is only 2 days left of it, let’s wish it a good riddance. And make sure that 2017 is just as bitter.

ARRRGGGHHHHH

Bitter Long Time no See Ben

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50 thoughts on “Long time no Bitter Friday Giftures

  1. Oh, there were some gems in here, Ben. Like the chick who tried to do a cartwheel. What made her think she was going to be successful with that venture? Those girls in the lockers? I had this overwhelming urge just to slam the doors shut really hard. I don’t know why. The exercise ball and the bear really made me laugh. When I was a call center manager in a galaxy far, far, away, many centuries ago, an employee of mine asked me if she could replace her desk chair with one of those balls so that she could get her cardio in. I laughed at her and then said no. Guess what? She became very bitter.

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  2. Thank you for the giftures, I was beginning to feel a warm glow, almost a smile forming on my lips, thank you for the bitterness, it was long overdue!

    Like

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