"You wanna know how I got these scars?" The Joker famously spouted this line several times in The Dark Knight. None of the people he was telling really wanted to know, but didn't really have a choice because he was going to tell them anyways. Well, I guess I'm the Joker to you right now. … Continue reading Bitterly Scarred Part 1
Humor
Bitter News from the Couch
Remember on Friday when I gave you the clue on the Scavenger Hunt? Coming soon... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qp1VVWRvvxc Remember to view, subscribe and share with all those who you want to Experience the Bitterness.
Bitter Summer Camp
It's the end of the summer, and the kids are definitely not ready to go back to school. But it's hot and sweaty and they don't call these the dog days of summer for nothing. The dog keep barking at the kids when they come inside. So make them go outside. To my exclusive, high … Continue reading Bitter Summer Camp
Bitter Ben & Jerry’s Ice Cream
I have always been an entrepreneurial type of person, meaning I have all kinds of ideas that would make me rich, if I were living in a fantasy world and smart people with lots of money were blindly funding me money and other smart people were at no cost building my ideas. So obviously the … Continue reading Bitter Ben & Jerry’s Ice Cream
Bitter Leftovers – Things you should probably say no to
Your aunt's leftover pea soup. Encyclopedia salespeople. A space shuttle flight to beautiful sunshiny sun. A Periscope of your friends surgery. Wanna try new garbage scented Mouthwash Indoor fireworks. Casual high speed chase on Thursday at 5 pm on the 405. Pumpkin Fight. To being Elon Musk's insurance agent. Wanna be a cat scratching post? … Continue reading Bitter Leftovers – Things you should probably say no to
Hiding Friday Giftures
Considering all the bitterness that happened this week, there are all kinds of reasons you needed to stay home and not be here at work. You know what I'm talking about. You embarrassed the boss by doing that thing, you did that report on Word instead of Excel, and you spilled water all over your … Continue reading Hiding Friday Giftures
Bitter Fluorescent Fights
There have been lots of scourges in this world. Tornadoes, hurricanes, Godzilla, earthquakes, Justin Beiber, trillion dollars debts, Donald Trump, Donald Trump's hair and even the summer holiday drought. But there is a secret scourge that hides in the shadows. One that haunts us everyday at work, in public buildings, in old dusty outhouses, in … Continue reading Bitter Fluorescent Fights
Gates must be so bitter
The Tom Brady thing about deflated balls just won't go away. This thing happened so long ago, I was like in my early to late 41's when it came out. Here it is in August 2015 and it is still in the news. So much so, that it has received the prestigious seal of approval … Continue reading Gates must be so bitter
Proper Napping Procedures
There are very few subjects which I am an expert at. Grammar, I don't have a doctorate in. Math? I think if the end of the world were imminent and all I had to do was solve the equation for X to save the world, get ready for the apocalypse and the four horseman to … Continue reading Proper Napping Procedures
The Bitter Energy Crisis
There is an energy crisis in this country. It doesn't have anything to do with fuel, or gas, or coal or oil. This is a human energy crisis. We are so tired from staying up late playing video games, watching YouTube, watching TV or heaven forbid work, that when some of us wake up at … Continue reading The Bitter Energy Crisis
Leftover Bitterness- A Bitter Symphony
My commute was hot as usual, because the air conditioning in my car didn't work because my arms didn't feel like rolling the windows down. So, of course, I was exhausted and didn't want to do anything but park...myself on the couch. But then I was hungry, but there was no plan on the … Continue reading Leftover Bitterness- A Bitter Symphony
Cartoon shaming bitterness
When I was in my late dating years, I tried to woo a girl that didn't particularly want to be wooed by me, but for whatever reason I kept trying to get a date with her. She finally relented and I decided that I should go on a double date with my brother and his … Continue reading Cartoon shaming bitterness
Bitter Abandonment Giftures
Abandon hope all ye that read stuff on here. Just like my writing skills have abandoned me this week, so should you abandon your desks and workstations and computers and find bitterness in your cars, trains, planes, moped, skiis, snowboards, apparating or Time Machine Deloreans. Go home and grab some chips, soda, bar-b-q sauce, wings, … Continue reading Bitter Abandonment Giftures
Super BitterMan
The superhero genre is getting a little ridiculous. There are some legit superhero movie stars out there that I'm fine with getting big time movies. Guys like Superman, Batman, Iron Man, Wonder Woman, Wolverine, Spiderman and so forth. These days, if there is a legit cool or recognizable hero out there, they will get a movie made … Continue reading Super BitterMan
Bitteruptions
Today is the bitter equivalent of the best day of the year. It is the first Tuesday AFTER the holidays in which everyone (or at least everyone I know) took two or three weeks off of work and are now having to return to the realities of school, work and all kinds of bitter … Continue reading Bitteruptions
Casual Friday Giftures
I don't know about you, but if I had the chance I would never wear clothes...that didn't include sweatpants, short sleeve T-shirts and either bare feet, or if it was necessary to wear something on my feet, sandals. Some companies try to make it seem like they are doing us a big favor by allowing … Continue reading Casual Friday Giftures
How to Solve Your Bitter Energy Crisis
This last Saturday, I was convinced that I was the only person in the tri-state area(Washington, Canada, and Portland) that thought that I would be able to walk in at 9:00 am(or a little after) for the 9 am doorbuster to a get the new Call of Duty game I only kinda wanted for $19.99 at … Continue reading How to Solve Your Bitter Energy Crisis
Bittervational Speech – Everyone is Better Than You
It has been the purpose of this blog from the very beginning to help people overcome the heavy weight and burden of being happy all the time. If you don't believe me, go alllll the way back to my very first, terribly written post that introduced the world (by world, I mean my family) … Continue reading Bittervational Speech – Everyone is Better Than You
Get Hooked on Friday Giftures
You know how when you first start reading this blog, you can't turn away because it is such a train wreck that you can't stop reading it? And then you wait for the next one in the next hour and it just never comes and you can't concentrate on anything else? I'm sorry to tell you, that you … Continue reading Get Hooked on Friday Giftures
How to Stage a Bittervention
The holidays are a hotbed of people being excited, happy to see each other, warm fires, fun chats with family and friends. The cold, hard reality is that you will be surround by insanely happy people. Don't worry, I know how hard this can be. Happy people are a really buzzkill to the gloomy, sad, … Continue reading How to Stage a Bittervention
Ben's Bitter Blog 