Bitter Rivalry of the Week: George Washington vs. Abraham Lincoln

Who wins the rivalry of the Presidents?

For the first time in 15 years, I won’t be working the day after President’s Day. This is a good thing, because it used to be the worst day at my old job. It was always a double duty day, because most of the dealer’s we worked with didn’t get President’s Day off, so we got the stack of work from President’s Day and then we had to do that day’s work as well. Plus, inevitably one of my slacker co-workers would take that day off because they knew that I wanted to do their work too. And we all know how I deal with doing two things. I decide to do zero things instead.

The whole reason behind President’s Day is the fact that both Lincoln and Washington have birthday’s in February. But I’m guessing that these two gentleman, didn’t really agree to combining their birthday’s, just so we could have a sale on car’s and washing(ton) machines. In what is already an intense rivalry between what we consider the best dead presidents (Washington is on the $1 bill and the quarter, Lincoln on the $5 and the penny) alive, these guys probably want to go wig to big hat for Best President Ever status.  So choose your weapons wisely gentleman, cause it is going to be an axe(Washington chopping down cherry trees) to axe(Lincoln cutting logs for his favorite toy) fight.

First up, we have Washington. He is heavily involved in the naming convention game. We’ve got Washington D.C., Washington State, and hundreds of other schools(though in my town this was the rivalry school), towns, districts and monuments named after this guy. In addition, he was involved in some war that wasn’t pretty or something to get us independence. He crossed some streams, cut down some cherry trees and lied about it, and was “too busy” to sign the declaration of independence. He was the first President of the United States, but probably only because Lincoln wasn’t available to run at the time.

Then we had Lincoln. He was a big hat wearing lawyer, a tall fellow and a beard wearer. Lots of things were also named after him, like the Lincoln Continental, Lincoln Logs and Lincoln, Nebraska. Oh and the high school I went to, along with I’m sure many of yours too.  (Not that I cared too much, because I wasn’t a fan of high school.) He was a zombie slayer, and was also involved in some war, which I heard also wasn’t pretty. He helped save our planet from aliens or something.

So, who wins the bitter rivalry of best dead president? Is it Dolla Dolla Bill and Quarter Washington, or 5 spot and penny man Lincoln? Is it the axe that cut down cherry trees or the axe that brought down zombies? Is it the right side of Mt. Rushmore or the left?

ARRRRGGGHHHHH

Bitter Rivalry of the Presidents Ben

 

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36 thoughts on “Bitter Rivalry of the Week: George Washington vs. Abraham Lincoln

  1. If you people would stop getting sick the hospitals could close on Pres. Day some of us could get the day off so to buy a car or a washing machine! So bitter.

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  2. The edge Lincoln has is he’s got some good quotes. Washington, once you’re past “I cannot tell a lie” and maybe his killer squelch of the Newburgh Mutiny there’s nothing. And who’s heard of the Newburgh Mutiny? Even among Newburgh residents.

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  3. You know, it’s kind of good they were both long dead when it was decided to combine the birthdays. You know how little kids hate having their birthdays combined with a sibling’s. Or those poor suckers with birthdays near Christmas who get “combined” presents which are almost never as good as two separate presents would be. Any why doesn’t my cheapskate employer give Presidents’ Day off? What’s that all about? Now that I think about it, I am too bitter about my own ills to have any sympathy to spare for dead presidents. Rock on!

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  4. One of few times in my life, I have to go to the left. Besides being the face on the only billl I ever seem to have in my wallet, his likeness can be used in gumball machines and those aggravating crane things where you spend $6 to get a stuffed something or other. Not to mention he also had that cool wooden teeth thing that was ahead of its time. To be honest, both are great, but I’m more of a Teddy Roosevelt fan.

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